Quote Journal: Strength

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I'm channeling the quotes this week because I really don't know how I'm continuing to keep going every day. I will look back at this time in my life and marvel at how I survived. I will look back and call this a character-builder. I will look back and say something ridiculously-optimistic like, "Yep, that's why I'm a strong woman; it's because of experiences like that."

Pwwwwtttttthhhhhhhhh!

That's why I have abnormally-high levels of stomach acid!

Obviously, I'm not to the joking phase yet.

In short, our house sale fell through. Well, our house was perfectly fine. Our buyer is the one who finked out when we called him on his scheming, plotting ways. I could go on and on about this guy's unethical ways but I'll choose to be mature and simply call him a jerk. That's about as objective as I can be.

After a week where my stomach was eating itself, I've come to terms with this reality and I'd rather our house go to a nice, young couple who will nurture it. This guy would probably gut it and sell pieces on the black market (whoops, there I go again). So we're okay. Jack is shouldering most of this burden and once again, I'm grateful for his unending housing-related optimism.

Thank you, Jack! You're my favorite human. (No offense to the rest of y'all, really.)

Work, by contrast, is picking up positive steam. I had two MAJOR victories just today and times like this really buoy my spirits. First, I presented my huge operational project (yes, the one I cannot talk about) to senior hospital leadership today and it flew. It flew! It went as well as a presentation like that can go. I'm thrilled that I finally feel like I mastered executive presentations; my nerves only kicked in when I had to wait 15 minutes before I was ushered into the boardroom. And as I left the boardroom, I received three quick text messages from three individuals, telling me how well it went. I just presented the results of oh, 100+ hours of strategic analysis.

Alas, we're progressing. People tell me this will be a career-defining event for me. But I'm not supposed to talk about it. So I'll stop.

The other big win I had today was a firm staff meeting with one of my new clinical departments, a department that had never had a director to date. They've run amok and I had to draw a link in the sand...that their days of delinquencies and ignored mandatory requirements are over. I figured I'd leave that meeting battered and bruised but the staff responded well to the expectations. I couldn't help but crack a smile as I walked back to my office, having survived that two hour feat.

So work is going well and I'm receiving respect for the hours and hours (and HOURS) I'm putting in at work. I have more of the "my office is a confessional" feeling, but I'm slowly learning what I can answer and how to allay peoples' unnecessary worries.

Plus, word got out that I stock Laffy Taffy in my office. Maybe THAT's why they're visiting?

I also realized that I won't be able to control all these new areas and projects. I will seek the illusion of control and run with that.

And if this doesn't kill me, I might just become a wee bit stronger from all these trials. If the trials weren't good for me, I have absolute faith that God would remove them from me before I crackle into a pile of Dorrie dust.