Snow*

*Appropriately titled post here. Creativity is running low!

It dawned on me last night, in the throes of a nightmarish commute through southern Chicago, during the height of a snowstorm, that I'm taking life too seriously again.

[You're thinking, "is this a duplicate post?!"]

The week was, well, one of endurance. The treadmill was kicked up to high speed and I ran my little heart out, eyes set on Friday night, when I could finally step out of the craziness and slow the dizzying pace.

Another sexual harassment charge...another employee playing games (requiring me to draft a certified letter calling him out on his game-playing)...another doctor causing problems...here we go again.

I felt so powerless over my situation. The treadmill whipped by faster than ever and I could do nothing but try and keep up.

Right?

I talked to to my mentor early yesterday morning. She's a hospital CEO in Arizona and always has some interesting tidbit from hearing about my experiences in hospital life. I filled her in on my events this week and related the exhausting efforts required for unit closures and the human resources issues that keep cropping up.

It's nothing new to her. She listened sympathetically for a while then said, "Good work. Now when are you planning to take care of yourself?"

Hmm. Well, the treadmill doesn't really allow for that kind of wasted time.

And yet, I realized I control the speed of the treadmill by how I react to the stresses of my life. If I don't take it easy, nature forces me to slow down...as evidenced by the cold I just contracted on Wednesday/Thursday. I've been sick for most of January and I don't think it's a coincidence.

Drat.

So yesterday, I intended to leave work by 2:30, as the snow had started to fly. Rush hour is bad enough. Rush hour with 6-8" of snow boggled my fragile mind!

A couple new employee issues crept up and as I breezed by a window, I noticed the snow coming down hard. It was the type of snow that made you think of fireplaces and hot chocolate! Several support departments had closed early. I took the initiative to close all our outpatient clinics early. Patients had canceled and staff hung around, waiting for 5:00. 5:00 came at 3:00 for them.

I finally left the office around 4:15 and upset at the 6" of snow that had already accumulated on my car, I hurriedly brushed off the snow with my entire arm. I joined the line of traffic creeping through the suburbs. It took me 30 minutes to go half a mile. Fuming at the delay (I was trying to get home, the symbolic act of stepping off the treadmill), I finally reached the site of the bottleneck and I understood...a school bus full of children was lodged up against a guardrail, unable to gain traction forward. Several people had gotten out of their cars to help the flailing bus, putting themselves at risk, too.

Humbled by others' generosity, I realized I needed to chill. Rifling through my glovebox cd collection, I found a Jimmy Buffet mix that we had created for a Florida trip. The rest of the two-hour trip home was great, once I changed my attitude. Plus, the snow made me feel like I was playing MarioKart.

Watch out for those banana peels!

Funny, isn't it? Just how much attitude can affect how you feel?

So I *will* take care of myself this weekend (I made a spa appointment for 1:30 today!) and changing my perception and attitude...instead of HAVING to work to catch up, I GET to work. It means I'm gainfully employed and making a difference.

And if my nose stops running long enough to go outside, I might just challenge Jack to a snowball fight!