Tough

Have you ever seen the movie "Up in the Air?"

I lived it today.

When I first saw that movie, I thought, "I could fire people if I had to. It's just a job and you can separate yourself from it after enough practice."

Well, firing people is very different from laying them off. Whenever I have to fire someone, it's for cause. They fire themselves through their actions or behavior and I just carry it out.

Today was different. Today I had to hold an emergency staff meeting with one of my favorite departments and, surrounded by employee with wide, unblinking eyes, listened as I told them we had to close the unit. There were tears. There was feigned strength and stoicism. There was relief. There was shock. There were questions. And there were more tears.

This is peoples' livelihood. And here I was, dropping the biggest possible bomb on them. What's worse is that these people are good. They're kind, put the patients first, and are generally wonderful folks. It's easier to let someone go when they've misbehaved or falsified a patient chart. These guys were all innocent victims.

I can't remember a more trying day at work...and I left work knowing I still had a job and that, as secure as healthcare is these days, I'd probably have a job for a while.

Today, my job was to put other people out of work.

That sucks. Pardon my language, but there's no other word.

I knew it was going to be tough, as evidenced by the fact that I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning, unable to sleep. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was going to completely unravel peoples' worlds today.

And yet, it was just what we had to do. The practice couldn't sustain itself and many physician behavior issues and compliance concerns forced our hand.

Elvis and my VP of HR accompanied me to the clinic. Elvis went to speak to the physician and I talked to the staff with the help of HR. Elvis' conversation with the doc took all of 2 minutes. My conversations with the staff took an hour.

Elvis and I touched base afterward to share our sides of the tale. Word spread through the hospital; other departments immediately wonder if they're on the chopping block. So we crafted a message for all of hospital leadership, to clear the air and explain our reasons.

Nonetheless, it was awful. And I keep reminding myself that I'm the one who's still employed. It *could* be worse; I could be one of the people I laid off today.

*Sigh*

Tomorrow will be better. For all of us.