Running Like the Wind

So after the long weekend of playing and eating and drinking and relaxing, I found it *very* hard to ramp up for work. I suffered through Monday, feeling like a zombie running through freezer-chilled molasses. Every movement was a challenge and despite a Red Bull, a Mt Dew, and a 16 oz coffee, I could have slept on the wing of an airplane. At 9pm, I finally gave up the battle and crashed.

But then on Tuesday, I woke up feeling the same way. How could this be, I was decently rested, fully caffeinated, yet all I wanted to do was float around on a pool raft and listen to cheesy 80's music. As I was driving full-speed down the Interstate, it hit me. I'm tired of this existence. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this life. I'm bored. I'm freaking BORED in the hospital! Seriously!? I stewed about that for a while and succumbed to the few tears that burned my eyelids.

After an emotional phone call to Jack (while still on the road), I decided that I'm not going to play passively anymore. Why should I? He pushed a few select buttons that made me realize that I don't need anyone's permission or approval. They're giving me a backstage pass to the hospital and I'm BORED? The corporate execs put me in this role as a litmus test to my strength, perseverance, and candor. I've been the perfect picture of a poised young woman, but I'm tired of being that poised woman with the perfect posture! I decided to get over myself and let go of the expectations I created for myself from the assumptions I've made.

There, how's that for profound?

So as a move to solidify my new status as an administrative rebel, I volunteered to spearhead a physician committee, accepted an invitation to lead an Infection Control task force (germaphobes beware!), and led a meeting with the Surgical residents (St. Fozzie's is a teaching hospital, after all) and soley represented Administration the residents. Granted, I couldn't answer all their questions. But I jotted them down and sent and email to the department head before I left work this evening. To further solidify my rebel status, I scheduled myself one whole day in Interventional Radiology, two whole days in the ER, and three cases in the OR.

Take that, Dorrie-created assumptions about supposed expectations!