Med Mal in the Caymans and Illinois

As many people know, we have a great deal of problems with medical malpractice in Illinois, particularly in Cook County. There are only two counties who score higher than us, nationwide (in Los Angeles and Washington DC). One of the biggest problems is apparent agency.

For example, Dr. Dumas, wearing a St. Fozzie's lab coat, makes a critical error and causes harm to a patient. The patient sues for negligence or Med Mal. St. Fozzie's legal team steps in and says, "Hey, wait, the doctor isn't a St. Fozzie's employee; this doc has limited staff privileges." The patient turns around and says, "Well, since Dr. Dumas was wearing a St. Fozzie's lab coat, I assumed he was a St. Fozzie's employee." St. Fozzie's is hung for apparent agency because it's *apparent* that a possessive relationship exists between the doc and the hospital. Then the patient sues Dr. Dumas for everything he's supposedly worth, hoping to dip into the "deep" pockets of the hospital.

Little do they (or anyone else) know, hospitals have shallow pockets. Medical malpractice suits have no caps in Illinois and a judge could totally award a patient $20-30 million dollars if it's a landmark case. Cases that involve babies also tend to score big windfalls. Juries love babies.

Everyone loves babies.

So after accounting for any judgments against the docs and shelling out tens of millions in Med Mal insurance, we celebrate the fact that we've *only* lost $1M this month in the operating margin. The pockets aren't so deep. If you're looking for deep pockets, try the offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands. Or maybe Bono's bank accounts. OH wait, Bono's accounts were moved offshore to the Caymans. Hypocrite! How in the world did I get on that topic?

ANYWAY, the Physician Partnership Team had this wonderful brainstorming session on Friday about how to publicize some of our new docs and make them feel special. Doctors LOVE having their picture taken; it's a freakishly easy way to pacify them. However, it dawned on me that if we take their pictures, print out new St. Fozzie's banners promoting said physicians, people *just* might think they're St. Fozzie's employees. Duh, right? I emailed the Risk Management guru who confirmed my suspicions. Any physician banners would brazenly contradict the anti-apparent agency movement around here. So back to square one. I have to find another way to promote the new docs without inviting monstrous Med Mal violations!