It *was* funny, if quite ridiculous!
So I left on Sunday morning and arrived in Atlanta just after noon. Then I caught a bus for the two-hour ride to Anniston, Alabama. It was HOT. And there were big bugs. Those are the two things I will remember most about 'Bama. But we did manage to have some fun along the way, at Fort McClellan, an Army base in the hills of 'Bama, the site of the Center for Domestic Preparedness.
On Sunday night, everything in the bustling metropolis of Anniston was closed. Everything, that is, except Walmart. So my new friend, Nurse Onomatopoeia, and I chartered a ride from base to Wally World in the hopes of some entertainment. The people watching was just as much fun as checking out the local Wally's merchandise:
I would have bought this shirt, but they were sold out. Seriously. So RN Onomatopoeia and I stocked up on our Alabama Crimson Tide t-shirts. I kept thinking it was the "Crimson Wave," not "Crimson Tide," but I was corrected. That would've been funnier had Alabama been a women's college. :) And I dubbed my friend "Nurse Onomatopoeia" because she had a sound effect for everything. An ER/Trauma nurse from Fort Worth, TX, she used sounds more than words for communicating.
On Monday, we were transported to Noble Army Hospital (busing to and from base), an out-of-commission hospital in which we were going to train. It felt official:
Security was TIGHT. Even though they check your badge against your photo ID when you leave base, they check it all AGAIN when you arrive at the hospital. What's going to happen? Spontaneous evolution of human life on the 4 minute bus ride? Regardless, it was probably one of the safest places to be this past week.
There were 60 administrators, RN's, EMS, and fire chiefs in our class. Day 1 consisted mostly of lecture. Nine hours of lecture. After that, we were desperate for some local culture (read: alcohol), so a group of us chartered a bus to a lovely, sophisticated dining establishment called Cooter Brown's. It redefined "hole in the wall."
Seating about 40 people (tops), this was the view from the minuscule loft:
Being total tourists, our group tried Alabama Slammers. The drinks were the color of river water but tasted like fruit punch. They were perfect to accompany the "tasty butts" Cooter's is known for:
It was simply the best BBQ I've ever had. The pork was smoky and the sauce spicy and tangy. However, it was the BBQ that never ended; regardless of how much I ate, my pile of pork BBQ never went down. It regenerated itself. Like *MAGIC* BBQ. Cooter's lived up to its hype, except when we were reclining after our feast, a cockroach scurried across the table. Making one of her characteristic sound effects (kind of like a crazy rooster), RN Onomatopoeia hailed the table's check in 3.78 seconds. Honestly, I wasn't that surprised, but one of the infection preventionists in our group started hyperventilating.
The next morning and four TUMS later, we returned to the hospital for more lecture. Then we did table-top exercises where you think through what you would do in Disaster A, B, or C. They split us up into groups, so we got to know several other folks.
That night, I returned to my room and JUST ABOUT finished my ethics paper. Yes, this is newsworthy.
The next day, day three, was our first simulation. We actually ran the Army hospital during a crisis. It was a terrorism explosion that turned into a nerve gas event with some anthrax thrown in. As hospital incident command, we had to supervise the decontamination of patients, treat the hazmat situation, accommodate hundreds of ER patients (using mass triage) and somehow work with public health to protect society. We ran and ran for 8 hours and everyone was zonked by the end.
That night, a spontaneous party erupted at the FEMA bar, with about 20 people from my class. There was an outdoor picnic area and everyone congregated to share tales from the day. Fueling this were the $1 draft imports in the FEMA bar subsidized by YOU. Your tax dollars at work!
It was interesting, though, because the whole experience was starting to remind me of college. Everything from the cinderblock dorm rooms to the shared bathrooms to the dining hall food with excellent entrees and even better desserts, it was just like college. Except that most people were married and the bizarre late-adolescent courtship rituals were not occurring, thankfully. This is a shot from the inside of FEMA bar. Even it reminded me of Senior Bar at Notre Dame:
Then on Day 4, the last day of training, we had to run the hospital again. This time, it was a bioterrorism attack with small pox. It was insanity and people really got into the exercise. Here is the administrative command post:
Here is the ER:
So the last night, we again congregated in the picnic area to share our gritty stories from the day. A few days ago, we didn't know each other at all; now we were good friends who survived anthrax and small pox and kamikaze terrorists. We swapped phone numbers and email addresses like kids exchanging friendship bracelets at camp, promising to keep in touch as penpals. It was a cross between camp and college and we all feel better prepared to manage our respective hospitals in a time of mass disaster.
The only hiccup during the trip was thanks to my Citibank credit card. I used it in the Alabama outback and when I tried to upgrade myself to business class for the return flight, it was denied. Turns out Citi didn't think I should have been in 'Bama, buying Crimson Wave t-shirts at Wally World! They said it was "outside my usual spending habits."
How funny. And true (as I adjust the Alabama baseball cap I'm wearing)!
Back to the real world and the 548 emails I have awaiting me. My ethics paper is 98%done, I paid off my student loan yesterday, and travel season has come to a close...I smell a party!
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