Going Cold Candy

Today's Ash Wednesday, the solemn kick-off to the Catholic season of self-denial and greater attention toward spiritual growth.

Oddly, I've never minded Lent. The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays seem so lavish that, after New Year's, I'm ready to settle down and live a simpler life. I find it necessary to root out all that lavish extravagance and return to normal. Typically, I start my Lenten resolutions at New Year's, taking an inventory of my life and where I'd like to change and improve things.

For instance, this year, I looked at my life and saw an awful lot of stress. Most of this comes with the territory as a newbie administrator. However, I need not get carried away with the stress so that I'm having chest pains and feeling the world on my shoulders. There's a big difference between working your butt off to make something happen for yourself and working your butt off knowing, with full faith, that everything will work out in the end. Now THAT's faith.

I swear that if I ever heard God's voice, He would say something like, "What if I told you that you'd never have to worry about anything ever again? Done! Now go play!"

This stressful worrying/fretting is a spiritual obstacle of mine (whoa, this is getting deep for the Swimming blog!). So to remedy this deficiency, I decided to make one of my New Year's resolutions one of bathtime. One bath a week. I've kept this resolution with the exception of one week (and I had a few weeks in there where I took two, so that equals out, right?!). My other early Lenten/New Year's resolutions included regular grocery shopping, to avoid all excuse-making, and of course, to just keep swimming.

I haven't kept the grocery shopping one. This is big because I'm denying myself proper nutrition. Seriously, does frozen corn and a Lean Cuisine pizza even count as a proper meal? Don't get me started about breakfast. If it isn't make of coffee beans and creamer, it ain't happenin'.

I have made great progress on the no-excuses resolution. This is intangible, though, and it's so subjective to my moods, my workload, and the weather. Lenten resolutions need to be finite and measurable. And of course I've kept swimming; I'm still here to tell my story and have survived the curve balls of the last few months.

So I resort back to my gold standard for Lenten resolutions. The sacrifice that rivals all sacrifices for me (and most 5-year olds). Yes, I'm giving up chocolate. Again.

Don't laugh, this will be super-hard for me. There are three candy bowls in Administration alone and the administrators all have candy dishes in their offices, overflowing with M&M's, Kisses, Mr Goodbars, and even Reese's. I eat a piece here or there almost every day and if there's anyway to make myself thing about God more, it's denying myself candy. God will cross my mind 49 times a day.

I don't mind reducing myself to the level of a 5-year old in this traditional Lenten ritual of mine; if anything, small steps in matters like these usually lead to larger growth.

Except that I have to do it cold turkey. I mean, cold candy.