It's Da Bomb!

Okay, first, I *HATE* snow. I keep waking up to a car I must dig out, highways that are scary slippery, and increased travel times to get to and from work. My five white-knuckled commutes (in three days) are not helping me de-stress! I know there are a few of you out there who love snow (weirdos!), but I officially, as of right NOW, profess my hatred of snow. That may sound harsh, but I just can't handle it anymore.

Mark my words, within a 5-year window, Jack and I will relocate to a residence south of the Mason-Dixon line (preferably Arizona, California, Texas, or Florida). Even if I have to give up my hospital administration gig and start clearing road kill or writing blogs for a living (wink), I will be departing from the snowbelt before my 36th birthday.

Second, I had a weirdly relaxing day today. I knew it would be a light day, meeting-wise, so I booked myself with things I wanted to do and see. I received an overview of the Ambulance and EMS departments from the department director, got to play inside an ambulance, and received a primer in disaster management. The director leads hospital-wide disaster preparations (y'know, because we're very close to two huge Chicagoan airports and this stuff could actually happen) and I found myself mystified by the planning, incident command, and contingency efforts. So much so, that after our meeting, the director asked if he could send me to Fort Collins (Alabama) to become a certified disaster manager through FEMA.

I've cracked a few jokes at FEMA these last few years, regarding their lackadaisical response to Hurricane Katrina. Apparently, they learned from Katrina and formed this week-long "workshop" to better prepare leaders for future disasters. It sounds fun and everything, but I'm more interested in attending the bomb-building workshop in New Mexico. You go to this old, off-the-beaten-path Army base, build bombs, then figure out how to safely dismantle them. While this would be more apropos for swat team members than hospital administrators, it just sounds cool to blow up your work at the conclusion of the workshop.

Please don't add me to terrorism alerts or airport watch lists.

Anyway, after my intro to "How to Save the Hospital," I attended a disaster planning drill. It was fun...first Midway Airport was blown up, severely affecting the highway infrastructure. We had to figure out how to accommodate 400 trauma patients in the span of 2 hours. Then the next day, our hospital's ER entrance was blown up, so we had to set up a mobile ER unit. I felt like I was on M*A*S*H. Where's Klinger?

After all that, I went to the other campus and received a very in-depth look at hospital finance. For some reason, everyone wants me to know the business development side of operations. I understand why they need this information and how it is put together (on a high level view). But I simply cannot stand granular-level data. My eyes were bleeding again. I can now drill into the financial statements, the business intelligence system, and patient charge master, but I don't ever care to do that again.

In a hallway conversation with Elvis, I told him I just cannot stand the tedious nature of that area. I asked him to "please not make me do that for my next job!" I was sort of laughing, but completely serious.

I'd rather go build bombs in the desert!