Quote Journal: A Rock

"If work makes you cry, take some time off and re-evaluate." -Nurse Jackie

Nurse Jackie, during an off-the-cuff conversation between our offices at 6:45pm on a Thursday evening, told me about a doctor who used to make her cry.

This is a tough and unemotional lady. She's probably one of those women who, after watching sob-fests like "Blindside" or "The Notebook" probably rolled her eyes in disgust and said something like, "Get over it, people. Everyone dies."

Maybe I'm over-exaggerating, but she's a tough cookie. That's why she's a dynamo CNO and can easily lead 1500 people.

Regardless, in this after-hours discussion, she told me about a terrible, mean, soul-crushing physician she used to work with. The preface of the conversation was that a) you shouldn't let physicians and their difficult personalities get to you and b) when you're breaking down into tears, you're obviously overly exhausted and you need to step back and see why this is affecting you so deeply. I gathered that this rock-hard personality wasn't always so impenetrable; some of the thick-skin is learned and acquired along the way.

Fast-forward to me, a mess on Wednesday night. I was *so* tired I made two crucial mistakes. First, after along and arduous meeting, I got into the passenger side of my car and sat there for a second before realizing Jack was not going to be there to cart me around! Apparently my psyche wanted to be driven so it could rest. And two, I set up my coffee pot before collapsing in bed, so it would be ready to go at the flip of a switch. I staggered to bed only to wake up 20 minutes later to the smell of freshly-brewed Starbucks. Turns out I didn't just set up the coffee pot, but I turned it on, too. Whoops.

I'm taking these signs as a sign that I am overworking myself. I know, I know, please hold your applause to the end of the show. Nurse Jackie's advice spoke deeply to me, that I need to start separating myself from my job a bit. I'm taking things too seriously. While I'm making awesome waves and receiving system-wide accolades, it will not be a good thing if I end up in my own Cath Lab, getting my arteries stented from obscene stress!