Reflection: One Year

This is the one year anniversary of Just Keep Swimming.

When I started this blog on March 22, 2009, I knew I was in for a year's worth of administrative adventure. I knew it would be a leap into the unknown, but I had NO IDEA it would have been this wonderful, this eye-opening, and this stressful!

It's been a time of immense growth and I feel like a completely different person (professionally) than this time last year. Looking back, I know it's been a tremendous growth experience and that I'll never be the same. It's all been worth it.

I think!

Just kidding. Of course it's been worth it. While my job future is still uncertain (lots going on behind the scenes), I am still very grateful for everything. I have several "raving fans" at work who are supporting me and are lobbying to keep me at St. Fozzie's. There's even a petition going around the campuses. This is flattering, but a bit embarrassing! Regardless, I have many people behind me, who want to see me succeed and who have helped me along this crazy journey.

I had no idea I'd be sitting here, with the opportunities and challenges I've had over the past year. I keep thinking back to how far I've come and I'm a bit amazed. I used to feel like I was wearing my mom's shoes or suits to work. When I get dressed, I actually prefer suits now. My methaphorical shoes fit. When I catch sight of myself in a mirror, I'm more attuned to my recent wrinkle development (sigh) and whether or not my eyeliner is smudged. When I first started, I was always a bit shocked to see myself in a mirror. There was a big disconnect between the polished woman in the suit and heels and the insecure newbie wannabe-administrator I was inside.

I'm still the newbie administrator. The insecurity is slowly dissipating. I'm not only increasing what I know, but I'm also learning what I don't know. Learning is scary when you realize just how much you don't know.

So while I'm only one year into this blog and 10 months into my newbie administratorship, I feel a lot more "at home" with myself than I ever have. My marriage feels stronger than it ever has before. I know who my true friends are. I know who in my family truly supports me. And I know that, despite the stress, pain, and frustration, I will just keep swimming.