It's time for the next installment of "Random Thoughts." I've been driving a lot lately and have this time to think about strange things. Plus, my energy quota is about shot for this week.1. You know you're in Indiana when, on the highway, you pass the largest semi truck you've ever seen...carrying an even bigger John Deer tractor.
2. That same highway is pre-treated with pretty lines of salt, in preparation for the freezing *crap* forecasted to begin falling within the hour. Pretty lines! How are they so straight! Don't drive off the road, Idiot!
3. I don't mind going to a new Muppet hospital (or any hospital, really). Once you get to within a mile or two, you can just start following those blue "H" signs denoting a hospital.
3.5. I love making mix cd's (or play lists) from our vacations, but after the 2,493th time hearing the cd, even Bob Marley and steel drums cannot transport me to the Caribbean.
4. Why is it that people will wait 2-3 minutes for me to load up my car and vacate my parking space that is close to the gym's entrance? Aren't they there to, um, work out? Will walking an extra 100 feet break them from that marathon training they're planning inside?
5. Would anyone mind if I ditched the suit for a day and wore my Adidas pants and ND sweatshirt?
6. Male manicurists are the best.
7. It really bothers me when I drive by the funeral home/crematorium in southern Chicago and see black smoke churning out of the chimney. First, wouldn't it be creepy to attend a funeral somewhere and *know* there was another body going up in flames nearby? And why does it remind me of Nazi Germany? AND what if Al Capone still has family in the area and someone's 'sleepin' wit the fishes?'
8. I cannot stand haircuts that remotely remind me of Kate Gosselin's old 'do.
9. Why couldn't I stop laughing when someone, in a meeting, slipped up and instead of saying "peer group questions," said "queer group pestions?"
10. What if the whole concept of filling up your car's gas tank was a corporate joke? What if there was no such thing as liquid gasoline and your car really did run on regular air? The "gas gauge," depending on your make and model, would decrease according to your driving style. Then, it would invariably tip toward empty, necessitating that you stop at a gas station, spend $3 a "gallon" to refill your tank, when in reality, a little lever inside your "gas tank" figures it's about full and the gas station secures its profits. As I stand there at the gas pump, freezing my rear off in my heels and trench coat that doesn't block the howling Chicago winds, I wonder if this whole "gas filling" thing is an unnecessary task that only (thickly) lines corporate pocketbooks at BP and Exxon?
Who's with me on this!? Who even knows what the h*** I'm talking about?!
Who's with me on this!? Who even knows what the h*** I'm talking about?!
i like your thoughts; however, i will personally attest to the fact that i have run out of gas. twice. so, unfortunate as it may be, i don't think our cars actually run on air. :P
ReplyDelete& don't laugh at the running out of gas thing - i kind of had excuses. once was in high school, when i worked at martin's & had never driven on the bypass. i had to make a delivery to a different martin's, & the person who gave me directions told me to take the wrong turnoff, which got me lost. when i re-entered the bypass, i ran out of gas. in the dark. without a cell phone.
the second time was in college. i was coming back to campus from jim's, & i was running late for class. instead of stopping for gas before class & delaying me further, i thought i could make it a measly 1.5 blocks down 933 to the nearest gas station afterward. needless to say, i couldn't.
oh well - live & learn!!
The H signs are so helpful and I too hate Kate's old 'do.' I heard there were Kate Gosselin wigs out at halloween! But the delirium appears to be setting in when you start rambling about the gasoline conspiracy.
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