Vortex of Terror

I must admit that my first thought when I stepped over the threshold of my Chicagoland pad last night was, "Oh man, my work life is a screaming vortex of terror."

And then I considered it to be an understatement.

I had a mini-break down then decided that crying and whining was too much of a time-waster for me. Even though I worked on and off all weekend, I had crazy deadlines to meet. I wrote a proposal detailing our ER Throughput success story, for submission to a conference in June; I had to create this mammoth, gigantic flowchart detailing the structure of the 35-page grant that the Muppet System is submitting to the government (which was my idea dumb idea); I had all this stroke stuff going on with crucial meetings this week; AND I have a big meeting with EVOO on Thursday to discuss my future career paths.

Somehow, between working into the wee hours and getting up in the wee-er hours to finish, I got it all done. I submitted the proposal which was already accepted by the conference organization. Not to go on a narcissistic bender or anything, but I'm 3 for 3 on these conference submissions. It's a great feeling, but it's already biting me in the rear as Sister Lourdes and Muppet Corporate want me to put in for a national leadership award for the hospital. Um, yeah right.

Then I finished the mammoth flowchart and sent it off to my co-patriot in the massive AHRQ grant-writing process, Edison. He liked it and encouraged me further. So I hunkered down with my Starbucks double-shot and finished it. It. Was. Massive. You try describing a 35-page, $3M dollar development project in one 11x17 chart! It looked like the Kennedy family tree...

However, it is finished, the grant application was submitted by Edison, and he already received notification from the government that it is verified. WHEW. Time to clink the champagne glasses!

After all that hooplah, I allowed myself to sleep for 4 hours. Then I started in on the stroke facets. I co-presented four standing orders for treatment of stroke with our chief neurologist (I will call him Grumpy), to the Internal Medicine Department Meeting today. Grumpy is a terrible speaker and it turned out he didn't want to present the sets because he was NERVOUS, not because he didn't like the sets. I felt like saying, "Look buddy, get over your nerves, this hospital needs you!" As I fielded questions about the stroke designation process, the treatment algorithm we're developing, and the stroke protocol we're creating for when patients present at the ER. It's been a messy process, with each question spawning five additional questions. However, the order sets PASSED Internal Med, the algorithm is nearly complete, and the protocol is probably 75% complete. We're getting there and if it kills me, I'm getting St. Fozzie's stroke certified.

That being said, I had NO idea what went into order set creation. I feel like I deserve an honorary degree in Neurology. Okay, maybe just a temporary degree. :)

Nurse education starts next week so I do have a fair amount of stroke "stuff" left to accomplish. But this first big obstacle of Internal Med is cleared; this is where attempts to designate St. Fozzie's have failed in the past. This is cause for celebration (and perhaps, a stress let-down migraine).

The last big thing I have to complete in the next 24 hours is my career matrix. Yes, a matrix. I started by creating a road map of where I thought I could go and where I wanted to go, career-wise. It morphed into an organized set of squares, so I'm going with the matrix theme (no Keanu, though). Because this fellowship has been a big case of "figure out what you want to do then figure out a way to do it," I am taking the same approach with my career after the fellowship. Technically, I am down to four months here at Fozzie's and I'm not keeping it a secret that I'm updating my resume. Hopefully, they will clamour over me. Actually, I'm just hoping I have a good job at the end of this stomach-churning, mind-numbing stress!