Getting

I’ve been lighthearted this week. Part of it was a choice, part of it just a gift. I realized I was trying to scale out of this deep, 20-foot tall, slimy, muddy hole (in vain, I might add) when all I had to do was turn around. The opposite wall was only 12” tall, allowing me to hop out of that dark place. So instead of trying to scale a 20 foot wall, I did a high step out of that pit.

Weird how that happens. One half attitude, one half grace.

I’m looking at work in a “get to” perspective instead of a “have to” mentality. Instead of complaining about my nutty schedule, I think, “I get to work today.” Or, instead of whining about teaching a class at 8 a.m. (before the normal time coffee fully kicks in), I tell myself I GET to teach this class. Sometimes those mind games really work.

Honestly, the week started off rather rough with back-to-back (to-back-to-back) meetings Monday morning. Already tired by 10 a.m., one of the 70+ year-old volunteers who helps my assistant tentatively approached my office. I must have looked cross (or exhausted) because she timidly handed me a gift bag. Inside, a beautiful plum crocodile purse that she "saw and thought of me" over the weekend.

I'd been admiring her plum crocodile purse all winter and when she saw another one, she bought it for me. Humbled at her kindness, I thought, "Wow. I GET to work with some amazing, thoughtful people."

I was doing a lot of that on my morning commutes this week, telling myself how lucky I am because I get to do this job and work with these people. I GET to teach a class from 8-10. Then I GET to visit a very cool, live disaster drill where the hospital handled 120 “victims” of a hazmat spill. The “victims” were high school seniors from the local high school who got out of class for the morning to serve the hospital- helping us practice our decontamination skills. We were shocked to see two news outlets and one newspaper reporter show up to document the event! Our hospital’s hazmat crew (who came in on their unpaid days off) looked so proud when interviewed and photographed. As they took the hazmat tents down, I ran to the nearest pizzeria and picked up 10 pizzas for the crew. I GET to buy those awesome guys pizza.

Then I GET to see those guys on the front page of the paper. Talk about morale boost for the hospital!

Later that day, I received a phone call asking me to serve as a panelist for an upcoming ethics conference. Not sure about the schedule requirements, I quickly talked myself into it, on my premise of "Holy cow, I GET to do this."

Last week, I challenged one of my managers to excel in class. She’s doing her master’s in nursing and had a terrible stats class. In joking, I told her I’d buy her lunch if she passed stats. This morning, she emailed me one sentence…”I passed stats, you owe me a drink!” I remembered offering her LUNCH, not drinks, but hey, that could be interesting bonding. I hope she’s not planning on tequila shots…

Regardless, I GET to take a manager out for lunch.

Finally, I've way over my head in my quasi-black belt Lean training. I GET to shepherd nine green belts through their yellow and green belt training, helping to make sure their projects are appropriately scoped and completed. I get to remove obstacles when they arise. I get to sit through the green belts' training, so I can make diligent notes about parking lot items or project ideas. It's completely overwhelming, for we have so much work to do.

However, we GET to be the change agents to help improve healthcare. That's enough to inspire me to jump out of bed each morning. It's tiring to face my life with the "get to" mentality, but it sure does make things more optimistic.

A nice side perk? Optimistic days require far less caffeine!

Cheese

You know I'm a cheese hound...maybe coming in second isn't so bad!

Joke Journal: DOH

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping in the forest. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they went to sleep in the tent.

Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend, Watson.

"Look at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson answered: "I see millions and millions of stars."

"And what does that tell you?"

Watson thought a minute and answered: "Astronomically, that tells me that there are potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I see that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, I deduce that it is approximately three ten AM. Theologically, I see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically I suspect that we shall have a beautiful day tomorrow."

Holmes was quiet for a minute and then said: "Watson, you are an idiot. Someone stole our tent."

Masks

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not."

— Oprah Winfrey


In a week full of heated meetings with various directors, physicians, and VP's, this quote really struck me. Are we the same people all the time or do we put masks on when we want to be perceived in a certain way? In my own journey, this is something to which I aspire- to be the same person all the time, inside AND outside of work.

I used to talk about how I had several hats. My "home" hat, my "executive" hat, my "moral" hat, my "I'm a cool person, see?" hat. Etc.

It's time to consolidate the hats and stick with one "all-time" hat.

One of my colleagues provides a stellar example of this. We don't work for the same organization but our ongoing mergers often bring us together in difficult, high-stakes meetings. I watch her behave in these meetings and she just is who she is. There's no fluff, no masks, no ego. It's so refreshing and so weird.

I've got to learn how to do this.

Conveniently, this colleague and I go the same church and cross paths often in the community (you know, when you run out REALLY quickly for eggs and bread and you haven't showered yet after just going for a run and/or doing 2 hours of sweaty yardwork and see someone important? Yeah, like that). I took a risk and feeling like that geeky kid in middle school asking the designer jeans-wearing, popular, student council president to ride the school bus home with me, I invited my fascinating colleague to lunch.

I waited until I had an business reason to call her and then popped the question. She was gracious and lucky for me and my pride, immediately accepted.

It's funny, I'm not really sure how to make friends anymore. The friendships I have just sort of happened. There was no explicit effort involved; they just evolved. This was different, though, it was the first time in a long time I've seen someone in action and just wanted (needed?) to know how they do what they do. It was an interesting foray out of my comfort zone...but it would help if people operated with fewer masks and less pretending.

So that's what I'm going to work on next: dropping masks I know I wear and trying to expose those I'm not even aware I'm using. It might be geeky and I might be that unpopular kid still riding the school bus, but I don't care.

Acceptance

I cannot ever recall having had a decent sunburn in March.

And I absolutely love how the arrival of warm (hot!) spring weather coincided with the time change. It was as though summer literally arrived overnight and we went from furnace action to A/C in 24 hours.

But I'll take it. I think we all will!

This past week ushered in 400 miles of cross-system driving, as I had two out-of-town meetings on Monday and then on Thursday. It's inspiring to see things actually happen in these meetings; you get that recurrent sense that you're spinning in circles, just to break through it and realize the team's really made some success.

The other days consisted of light meeting schedules affording me the chance to stealthily escape from work in the late afternoon and happily work from favorite chaise lounger on the patio. It's the supreme deal of multi-tasking...getting something accomplished *while* sucking up some precious Vitamin D.

With temps still in the 80's, our friends Vera and Mr. Vera called us randomly yesterday and invited us over to play. Vera had corned beef and cabbage in the crock pot and homemade Irish soda bread in the oven. Bailing on our plans to work, read, catch up on homework, we joined our friends at their house on the farm.

Seriously. They live on 120+ acres. Wonderful, panoramic views!

We lazed around on their deck, sipping light, fruity wine and noshing on olives and cheese. Suddenly, Mr. Vera jumped up and went in the house, only to return with two shot guns and a carton of clay pigeons.

Wine + guns = two happy boys. You'd think they were 16!

After dinner, a storm started rolling in, way off in the distance. The guys, content to jam on their guitars, serenaded the shattered clay pigeon pieces in the field. Vera and I, however, went out into the middle of the orchard to watch the storms build. The unobstructed views took my breath away.

So *this* is why people live in the country!

It really made me think about my perceptions of events. It's tempting to think about the negative implications of the coming storm...it's scary, uncertain, and with its horizontal lightning, probably dangerous. We could get hurt if we stand too close. Are the risks, danger, and uncertainty worth it?

But afterward? The rains made all the fields and lawns green. Even though it's still technically winter, good times are here. We're exactly where we're supposed to be, doing exactly what we're supposed to be doing.

Swiffer

Does anyone else heave a dramatic sigh of relief when time changes in the spring? As soon as it's light outside at 6pm (I'm in Chicagoland, so we're on CST), I know I've made it.

We survived the cold, dark winter!

My folks came up to visit last night and after lots of laughter, stories, and a legendary stuffed, deep-dish pizza crafted by my chef hubby, I ran around with unabashed glee as I flipped every clock in the house forward an hour.

[In my head, I was singing, "it's the most wonderful time of the year!"]

[Wait. Maybe I was singing it out loud.]

Appropriately enough, the time change last night ushered in unseasonably warm temps, begging us to throw open the curtains and open windows for the first time since October. It's rather sad, I rarely see my own house in the daylight. Between the short hours of daylight in winter and the long hours at work, it's unusual to be home when it's bright and sunny outside.

So today, when temps in the upper 60's rolled in, I threw open all the curtains around our house and immediately coughed at all the dust I inadvertently stirred up. Isn't it funny how you notice all the cobwebs and dust bunnies when sunshine flows in every window and illumines the dirt?

It was embarrassing. I grabbed the Swiffer and went to work on those cobwebs.

I have to wonder if our inner habits aren't much different. We get in our grooves, doing the same thing every day, and functioning without really seeing our houses in the daylight. It's humbling to throw open the curtains in your own soul and notice the cobwebs that formed during your inattention to the important things.

I think I need a Swiffer for my soul.

I'm in this place of introspection as I have my first coaching session with the leader of our Leadership Enhancement program tomorrow. We were given ten pages of spiritually-based questions about Christian leadership. The questions are tough and yet it's very easy to figure out where you're missing the mark.

It's as though this leadership program is pulling the curtains back in the dark rooms of my house before I know what's happening. I come home to my proverbial house and it's blazingly full of light...and I can see all the dust bunnies and cobwebs in the neglected corners.

I'm trying to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I'm still endlessly grateful for this program, even if it does force me to ride without the training wheels when I'm still feeling wobbly.

What do you do to welcome spring? Do you Swiffer your cobwebs?!

Value

Some things never change. Instead of working on my theology paper with discipline and focus, I keep finding myself staring off into space and procrastinating.

[Wow! I really need to dust the blinds.]

[Must Google where Manning is going after he leaves Indy.]

[Man! That trash can needs to be emptied *right* now!]

[Should I flip all the clocks up an hour now, just to save myself some time later?]

[Hmmm. I'm hungry. What can I cook that won't mess up the kitchen too much?]


Don't you love it when I tell you what's going on in my head?

[#@$&%, she's crazy!]

All procrastination aside, this week was freakishly productive. It all started with our executive Lean training on Wednesday. Somehow, by the grace of God, all 19 execs from our region sat in the boardroom for eight hours of training from Purdue University. They absorbed the subject matter, asked difficult and engaging questions, and actually ran around the boardroom in "Lego hospital" simulations designed to help them realize the impact of Lean.

I was VERY nervous about having organized all of this. I considered it my one shot to get Lean on the map.

And it simply could not have gone better (by no doing of mine; it was Purdue's genius that made it happen).

While we were all brain dead after an all-day training, something magical happened....in several meetings Thursday and Friday, key execs asked the question, "Does this add value?" Does what we're doing add value to what we're ultimately here to do--serve the patients? Are we meeting in circular committees that far out-stayed their welcome? Are we doing things just because we always have?

I about cried with relief when, during a strategic planning meeting, one of the VP's repeatedly asked that question, "does this add value for our patients?" What better way to focus a diverse group of minds into one context?

So guess what I'm doing? I'm creating banners asking this question and I'm hanging them in every conference room and boardroom to continually remind us of why we're doing what we're doing.

[So far, my keys and security badge still work!]

Purpose

ABBA

I'm taking a quick break from my theology paper to stop in and say hi. I'm doing an exegesis of the Last Supper and explaining the narrative in light of the Passover paper I wrote. Have to tell ya, I'm getting into these Scriptural studies. Even if one isn't devoutly religious, the stories have so many layers and contexts.

It's all very interesting, even for a non-nerd.

[Just to clarify, I'm the nerd.]

[You're not a nerd.]

[Unless you want to be and think nerdom is weirdly cool and liberating.]

Things have been pretty difficult at Chez Dorrie lately. Jack's working his rear off and in the throes of midterms. I'm still pushing through, day by day (sometimes hour by hour or even moment by moment) and I'm hanging in there. Persistence, endurance, and grit.

And it's no coincidence that the perky Kelly Clarkson song, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" song comes on the radio no less than three times per day (y'know, when you're channel-surfing in traffic, trying to find what *else* is on!). It's all making me stronger, I know that deep inside.

[I just wish all this "making me stronger" stuff didn't produce so much stomach acid.]

[I also wish it included more palm trees.]

So while work is, well, work, Jack and I are taking care to have some fun. Last weekend, we tried out a new Mexican place and after the first bite of cilantro-infused salsa, I had to cry out, "Ole!" I arrived home on Wednesday night, after a wondrous massage at my neighborhood spa, and Jack had crafted a multiple-course meal. I made some serious headway on some ethics papers I'm re-writing for publication. Oddly, the academic writing is a nice diversion from coming home after work and diving into email. It's all in the little things.

However, the *real* fun started last weekend when, after deciding we were tired of the usual entertainment options, wandered through Target and emerged with a Just Dance Wii game. Hey, why not?

SO we threw an impromptu dance party in our living room, laughing until our sides hurt. More than our sides hurt the next day, as we were so very sore from the intricate dance moves we practiced with the Wii! There was only one injury when, during a 70's disco song, we collided hands and the Wii controller cut into my finger!

What I wouldn't pay to see a video of *that*!

Last night, after having heard about another difficult week on my part, Jack stopped on the way home for another rendition of Just Dance.

The ABBA version.

Yes, ABBA.

Does it get any better?

Before we even sat down for dinner, I anxiously loaded the ABBA disc in the system and positioned myself for some Dancing Queen.

[Dangit, where'd I put my white and gold-sequined polyester leisure suit?]

Imagine my shock (and giggles) when Jack joined me and struck the pre-Dancing Queen post as well. He's such a trooper.

And he totally kicked my butt at ABBA Just Dance. You heard it here first.*

When we finished with ABBA, a few hours and beers later, he looked at me astonishingly and said, "Wow. I must be gay. Or maybe Swedish!"

And THAT is how you know you're with your soul mate. They'll make you laugh until you cry and do whatever it takes to get you out of your funk and into some hilarity.

Thank you, Jack. And thank *you*, ABBA!


*He did tell me I could tell you about this. I think he's strangely proud of kicking my butt into next Tuesday, even if it did entail ABBA!

Quote Journal: Truthful

To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful.

–Edward R. Murrow

Great quote and I've never heard anyone say it better.