Chi News

Because I've had a couple days off around the holidays, I've actually had a chance to watch the morning news. Even though I'm technically "off," I still get paged, emails, and the like, so I end up not sleeping in too long.

It's okay. I get my fill of Matt, Al, Meredith, and Anne.

I just can't believe how different the news is out here. Yes, we have our share of murders, house fires, and fallen soldiers (may they rest in peace). However, we have our share of Hollywood that most small or middle-sized cities just don't have.

For instance, I learned last week that the Discover Channel show "Cash Cab" will be filming for two weeks around the holidays. If you take cabs in and around the Mag Mile downtown, be prepared to enter into a game show. You have the option of stepping out of the cab and taking a different cab, should you prefer. That's just cool; the show started in NYC.

And I remember when "Transformers III" was filmed this summer. The news was precious..."If you hear any massive explosions or see roaring fire balls, please disregard." I mean, c'mon, that'd be the PERFECT time for a terrorist to set off an explosion in Chicago! It's under cover of the movie! We were downtown during the weekend of filming and did not see/hear any explosions. We also did not catch any glimpses of Megan Fox, much to my feminist chagrin.

I don't have a whole lot else to say tonight. I spent the day running circles in our affiliated physician group and performing my first very tough, terrible termination. I think it can only go up from here and I plan to plant myself in the tub with a novel!

Happy Christmas week! Don't forget, we have 12 whole days of Christmas to celebrate!

Christmas Reminder

Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.

[shouting in desperation]

Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

[moves toward the center of the stage]

Linus Van Pelt: Lights, please.

[a spotlight shines on Linus]

Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

[Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown]

Linus Van Pelt: That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.


And that's what Christmas is about. Have a merry Christmas!

Creeve, the Mob, and Ricotta

I know it's Christmas Eve, but I have one last work-related story to share with you. I woke up this peaceful, non-working Christmas Eve morning with a head full of to-do lists, curiosity about the deer hoof prints next to my big picture window (peeping deer?), ideas on how to align with healthcare reform policy, a general worry about the snow weather heading our way, and a subliminal guilt for not having worked out in about two weeks and eating everything in sight.

Oh, and a headache, because I had a shot of tequila last night. Ugh. I am so not 21 anymore. Not that I did tequila shots when I was 21...but it seemed to fit with our "Christmas Vacation" motif last night. This is our new tradition on "Creeve" (which is Christmas Eve Eve), a holiday that we learned about from friends. We were going to attend a party in Lafayette, Indiana and don our silver sauna suits, but the day just killed me (plus, we have to travel for Christmas) and a tequila shot and a movie was far more apropos.

ANYWAY, I've been fighting my way through work this week. My energy level has been nil lately and the natives have been restless at work. The orthopedic surgeons have been causing a ruckus with referral patterns and one surgeon insists on calling me with a 45 minute discourse each time he learns about a workers' comp case that escapes his grasp. We have five other surgeons to feed and it's just crazy. I wasn't the administrator on call, but the admin who was on call asked me to handle it. Just how does one tame a hungry orthopod?

Then, remember that employee who tried to file an EEOC charge against me when I suspended her from work last week? She's been...problematic. I won't talk about the specifics, but I spent probably four hours yesterday documenting the case, speaking with our attorney, and speaking with Risk Management. I discovered that I have grounds on which I need to terminate her employment. I spoke with Nurse Jackie (who offers her final stamp on such matters) and we actually discussed the employee's lineage and discerned whether she's "connected."

That is the absolute first time in my existence on this earth, that I had to trace someone's lineage to make sure they weren't connected to the mob.

While we laughed about it, fueled by sugar and full tummies from the department potluck, I know there is a seed of truth in every joke.

YIKES!

So that's what's going on here. And I'm just about ready for Christmas. If I can let a few more things go and ignore my to-do list, I might just have a peaceful Christmas after all! Every year for my entire life, I've gone to Christmas Eve mass with my family and then attended my dad's family's fancy Christmas party on the Eve. This year, it'll be Jack and me, relaxing during the day today and attending our brand-new parish's Midnight mass alone.

It will be quite strange to vary from our traditions...but now that set down some roots in Chicagoland, it's time to develop our own traditions. Different doesn't mean bad. For one, we're having fish (salmon) on Christmas Eve. We've been eating a lot of fresh, homemade Italian pasta (as a gift from my secretary who makes a side business out of it). And I found myself preferring rocotta cheese and biscotti as snacks. Ah, the discoveries of great food! OH, and please don't tell my 100% Polish family that we're starting to adopt Italian traditions!

It's still Christmas, and a joyful one at that! We're very blessed.

Merry Christmas!

Are You Kidding Me?

Today I had to reprimand a professional nurse for coming to work with flourescent pink hair.

Pink hair?

REALLY?!

Did you really think I wasn't going to say anything?!!?

Fodder for Future Chides

I think I've mentioned here before, that my "real" job of managing occupies about 25% of my time at work. The rest of my time is divided into project development, the creation of service lines, the revamping of service lines, etc. In short, if it, in any way, shape, or form, pertains to hospital operations, I'm invited to participate.

Or in some cases, asked to figure out the whole thing and report back when I'm finished!

That was the case when my boss asked me to visit an osteoporosis clinic, determine if it meets our patient population's needs for a niche market, then if so, develop the clinic and all its facets. I started this process on Friday and it's been percolating in the back of my brain for the past two days, as I mull over the different parts and directions we could take.

It came to a head last night, when I accidentally stole Jack's pillows while asleep. He woke up and wandered around the bedroom, looking for all his pillows. I had all of them safe within my dramatic embrace and evidently protested when he took them back...apparently, I needed them for my clinic's formation!

I can see many years of chiding from this one...akin to his finch dream years ago. It was funny! About six years ago, he startled me by jolting straight up out of bed, grabbed a pillow (what is with us and hoarding pillows?), and stormed out of the bedroom. Thinking he was sick or dying or crazy, I quickly followed him to see where he was sleepwalking to. I found him in the kitchen, where he was standing, holding the pillow to his neck. I flipped on the light and asked him what was the matter.

He said, "A bird flew into my neck and I'm trying to stop the bleeding!

I'm thinking it was a pterodactyl or huge eagle! I asked him what kind of bird it was.

He said, "It was a finch!"

He started to wake up when I couldn't stop the hysterics from overtaking me. That dream quickly became the stuff of family legend! Nearly all our family members have, at one time or another, bought him a finch or pretended to hit his neck with a finch. And now, I probably have my own "finch" story...

"Where are all the pillows?"

"Dorrie stole them all...she must want to start a new clinic!"

I tell you, I DESPERATELY need the four day weekend I have coming up (Dec 24-27). I refuse to work and do not plan to get dressed except for Christmas mass and maybe Christmas Day (still negotiable...flannel pants are completely acceptable in our Christmas celebrations).

I'm scurrying to finish my Christmas preparations today and hope your Christmas prep is complete so you can begin enjoying the holidays!

Magic Bullet

So I received one of these at work this week:


It was a total surprise and it hit on a terrible day. Remember those EEOC and grievance charges I had to defend? Turns out those affect me nearly as much as the employees. I *felt* cool and collected, but apparently, I was festering about this. Both were over by Thursday afternoon, when this delightful treat arrived.

Have you ever had an Edible Arrangement? Fresh fruit is usually good. However, chocolate-covered fresh fruit is on another level. I discovered that chocolate-covered strawberries (both dark chocolate and white chocolate) cure most evils in the world. In fact, they certainly cured my evils this week and I told Jack that if I ever become an absolute bear, just bribe me with choco strawberries. I'll chill right out!

Digging Out

Hey faithful blog readers!

How are you today? Are you all prepared for Christmas? In one word, I am NOT. But that's a story for another day.

The big news is that we moved into our house. We're official. However, I keep walking around it, feeling tremendously blessed. I'm not sure how we ended up with a house like this and on moving day, I kept thinking someone was going to run up and tell us there'd been a huge mistake and we needed to pack up and ship out! Alas, no such thing has happened yet. But we are blessed to have this house.

Moving day brought us freezing rain and temps hovering around 32 degrees. The day after moving day, where we had to go finish up at the rental house, brought us an epic blizzard, into which my mom and I ventured to go buy Christmas lights. Priorities, people!

We're nearly unpacked and my poor hands are dry, cracked, and terrible. You can only wash your hands 29 times a day for so long and use harsh cleaning products before your hands just fall apart. We did a highly illegal dumpster run on Monday night, just to have a security truck chase us through the subdivision. Jack lost him, though, so we weren't arrested. What a stupid offense! Next time, we'll just wait for trash pick-up day (or drive a faster car on roads that aren't ice-covered!)

The other big news, work wise, is that I have my first grievance and EEOC charges. In my role, I have increasingly become the "ball buster" (pardon my french) and I am being asked to shake up departments that haven't had any discipline in 20 years. It takes about a year to fire someone, when you go through the proper steps of progressive corrective action. And I had my first two bad firings last week…one for a glaring violation and one for 3,920 little infractions that added up to a massive impact on a department. The EEOC charge will most likely be dropped. The grievance, well, I've already spent something like six hours documenting everything and I'm not done yet. But that's what happens when employees are left to their own devices for 20+ years and then you suddenly come in with rules and hold them to the rules…they file charges against you because they cannot handle accountability.

But me? I cannot handle complacency or low performing staff. If you're going to come to work with a crappy attitude and "forget" to do core facets of your work, well, you will be on your way out.

In short, this administrator gig is NOT easy. In fact, I'm exhausted and my stomach is producing way more acid than what is considered healthy. Or normal. Even for a goat that eats tin cans. Holiday preparations, employee recognition dinners, and other Christmas parties are happening all around me and I'm too busy to take much notice...it stinks. My wonderful co-workers threw me not one, but two parties (one at each campus) for my birthday. I had two of everything and they TP'd my office door. That corny stuff makes me feel loved and appreciated for my insane hours.

The other interesting thing that happened to me last night, as Nurse Jackie and I were dashing across the street from the physician office building to the hospital, a medical helicopter landed on the hospital with what we suspect was a highway trauma patient. I had my EEOC paperwork clutched tightly in my portfolio; good thing, because the landing helicopter threw us back on the pavement with the force in which it landed. Plus, it scattered trillions of microscopic snowflakes and burned our eyes while blowing my hair irreparably out of place. It was a moment from M*A*S*H* and I felt proud that I withstood the airy blast from a helicopter without actually falling out or scattering my confidential paperwork all over southern Chicago.

Whew!

So that's what's been going on here…still working crazy hours, firing people, and unpacking. I think I still love my life, but I will let you know for certain when I catch up on my sleep and can tell left from right!

Joke Journal: Meth

Quote Journal: Risk

It's a nutty week for Jack and me (even nuttier than usual, when you factor in several evening meetings, Jack's final exam, a Holy Day, and a household in shambles), so I leave you with this tidbit to ponder:


"Risk is the price you pay for opportunity."

---Tom Selleck's character on Blue Bloods


I have no idea what the show Blue Bloods is about or who Tom Selleck plays, but I love this quote. You cannot expect great opportunities or chances to come your way without putting yourself out there. It also follows that, without risk, there are no great rewards.

It's a MAJOR Award!

Happy St. Nick Day!

I hope you all put your stocking out last night and had St. Nick fill it with little candy and sundry items! I made sure St. Nick Day was on, well, St. Nick's Outlook calendar last week! :)

PS, Isn't this hysterical? A Leg Lamp stocking? I'm tempted to buy it, just for its conversational value!

Mouse Capades

Well, I didn't cuddle up in my nest of feathers and watch movies all day on Saturday like I was planning (although, we did watch a few episodes of Boardwalk Empire). Instead, we packed up the rest of our stuff in preparation for the big move. I swear, I am never moving again. For all practical purposes, I have moved three times in the past year and a half. Once from SB to Chicagoland (when I initially moved), then we moved a bunch of stuff when the house went on the market in spring, then we moved everything else from SB to Chicagoland this summer. And now, we have an apartment and a storage unit to move into the house. Sigh. If anyone asks, just bury me in the back yard of the new house, 'cuz I ain't movin' again!

I'm a bit nervous to get our stuff out of storage. While it has only been in there for six months, you hear horror stories of mouse or roach infestations. In planning the move, my mom and I inherited the task of sorting through fresh-from-the-storage-unit boxes. Oh, and would I mind opening them all to make sure Mickey and Minnie weren't stowing a ride to a nice, new abode? Forget the Ice Capades, we're talking Mouse Capades!

Hmm. How did the ladies end up with this task? Don't even ask me what I'm going to do if I find a mouse in a box of theology books from school! I think I'd rather be solely responsible for the physical transportation of a 1,000 pound, solid wood hutch!!!

This feels like the final step in our movement toward peace and organization. I took a couple days off from work after the move, so I can take time organizing everything just so. I am going to map out the kitchen and based on daily utilization rates of our china, flatware, stemware, and coffee paraphernalia, stock the cabinets accordingly. The cupboards go nearly to the ceiling (requiring a step ladder) and this accessibility proves challenging to my Lean set-up of the kitchen. Yes, I know, there is no shame in therapy!

The trick this week will be maintaining a shred of sanity while my house is in complete disarray and my schedule is as full as ever. At least the week should go quickly!

Illusion of Control

It's been one heck of a week...between the late evenings and the two physician dinners I had this week, I cannot wait to camp out in my bed on a snowy day tomorrow and watch movies. To me, there are few things more relaxing than snuggling up in my nest of feathers (we have a down comforter and a feather bed) and watching movies. I finished several big responsibilities this week, including a massive audit of the annual mandatory education completion rates by my entire staff and the last 13 of the annual evaluations. Talk about a monkey off my back!

So on Monday night (after running around like a nut all day), I drove up to OakBrook to woo a new primary care physician. It was a good dinner, but I must rave about Maggiano's an upper-class Italian chain of restaurants. I usually hate chain restaurants, but I had a salmon dish that was just awe-inspiring. Check that place out if you get the opportunity. Tonight, I accompanied the Wound Clinic and physician staff to Coopershawk. I've raved about Coopershawk before...go there, too, if you ever get the chance!

I had several HR and irate physician issues this week (long story) so among all the stress, I somehow completed a fair amount of work on one of my Muppet Corporate committees, Patient Flow. Locally, at St. Fozzie's, this touches on patient throughput through the hospital. It provides us a lot of opportunities for process improvement. I also spoke at the Leader Forum, the monthly meeting at which all hospital management is present. While most people dread public speaking, I am finding that I thrive on it. It gives me a high. Isn't that weird?

For the first time since I've started in this position, I feel as though I have the illusion of control. I finally fully understand what occurs in my own departments and in the services we offer. I am working with the managers to construct business plans so we can enhance and evolve their services to align with the strategic plan. I finally feel, despite the long hours, that I'm settling in.

So cue the conversation I had with Nurse Jackie yesterday, that they are considering changing my job description. I have no idea what this means or where I'm going...just that, when I finally feel like things are settling down (work wise!), I'll get to mix it up again and start over!

A quick house update...it appears that we are still on track for a December 11 move. This is good news. It feels like forever since we bought that house and Jack and I are just ready to move already! Bring it on! I'm anxious to put up that Christmas tree and get settled in my new home!

Nomadic Ways

All is well on the home front. And the home front, it seems.

Jack and I started packing this weekend (actually, we more than "started," we're about halfway done and our house is a mess of boxes). We found out that we were formally and officially approved for our mortgage, the inspection was fine, the appraisal was acceptable (well, we think...on those sorts of things, no news is good news) and everything is moving forward according to plan.

In truth, it seems way too easy. I felt reluctant to start packing because, what if something went awry? After selling our house in SB and having so many problems doing so, I can't believe this one is so easy. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Nonetheless, we're entering into another crazy time of transition. I left one coffee mug unpacked for each of us, a few pots and pans are out, and the rest of the kitchen is in boxes. We're making it our goal to eat up as much of our food as possible. It's a pet peeve of mine to move food!

Our contract on the house states that we will close no later than December 10; that we can close as soon as the lender has their side in order. Well, the lender has their side in order, so we're preparing to start moving whenever we get those keys! Official moving day is December 11 (for furniture), but if we can get our clothes and fragile stuff in there beforehand, that will be fabulous. Here's to hopin'!

Quote Journal: Integrity

Here's a good quote as we begin Advent...

"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."

-Alan Simpson

Go be that glowing candle in the middle of a dark world!

Coping

I've been in a strange state of disarray today. Jack and I spent exactly 23 hours in SB over Thanksgiving and managed to visit with four different sides of the family. In one word, we're, well, spent!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It's always been one of my very favorite holidays. But something was a bit off this year. My routine was upset and I'm definitely feeling it.

First, we had to drive 3 hours Wednesday night to get back to SB (in bad weather and awful traffic, I might add), we stayed at my aunt's house overnight, and visited my mom for a scant few hours (when we usually pass out into turkey comas by the fireplace and end up watching Christmas movies into the evening when we break out the leftovers for grazing purposes). After visiting with the cutest niece and nephew in the world and our other family, we had to hit the highway. While Jack and I did fit in a viewing of "Polar Express," we headed to bed so we could go to WORK. I think it was the first time in my adult life where I didn't A) hit the mall at 4 a.m. for Christmas shopping and B) relax all weekend. This is the first time I ever worked the day after Thanksgiving.

Don't get me wrong, it was a much-needed work day. I dug out of my piles of accumulated work and will start Monday with a clean slate. But it just seemed weird to avoid the stores, sales, and ads in lieu of working a normal work day.

The other part of it is that, for the last 9 years of our marriage, I have always put the Christmas tree up on the day after Thanksgiving (or, at least, that weekend). Since we're moving in two weeks, that's a futile action and instead of unpacking the Christmas decorations, I'm packing up the rest of my stuff!

With the expense of the house, closing costs, and the large down payment due, we are scaling way, way back on Christmas this year. Our family and friends have been sympathetic to this and everyone's pretty much agreed on a one-year hiatus for Christmas gifts. While this has taken a large seasonal stressor off my plate, I feel as though I'm missing out on something! I feel as though I *should* be fighting the hoards of people for whatever the must-have items of the season are. It must be a strange twist of guilt. I feel bad I cannot purchase gifts for everyone I love this year, but I just cannot justify charging gifts. Plus, the season's not about gifts. It's about giving. And Jack and I are exploring other ways to give this season. It's actually quite liberating (I think)!

I am trying to embrace this new perspective this year. Nothing has been easy, quick, or painless this past year; what's one more challenge? Maybe it will give us more incentive to focus on Advent, too.

Despite my seemingly tough exterior, I am a softy for holiday traditions. I decided I will still put up a Christmas tree and decorate our new house...but I'll just leave the decorations up through Epiphany (instead of tearing everything down on New Year's Day, per my usual routine!). Just keep coping, right?!

T'is the Season

Regardless of my stress and ever-changing job, I have much, much to be thankful for. While trying to relax over the weekend, I thought of this list. I'm thankful...

1. For my faith. I have so many days where I feel as though I'm on the last cusp of sanity. My faith keeps me grounded and I know I can always call on God to recenter myself. Plus, it just helps when your surrounding leadership team all subscribes to the same faith tradition and you know God's somehow sustaining us all. Somehow...between all the trucker brew coffee and Red Bull!

2. For Jack. Jack's still adjusting to his new career, but he still takes time to support me, talk me off ledges, and most importantly, make me laugh. I hope everyone has someone in their lives who makes them laugh! Thank you for everything, Jack. I still can't believe I married that nerd in flannel who sat across the room from me in youth group! :)

3. For my family. Despite my crazy dreams and ambition, my family still always supports me. They put up with me working insane hours and seem to understand when I do need help. Many of my family members offer unconditional love and acceptance, good things for anyone to have....oh, and they supply me with homemade baked goods.

4. For my friends. You know who you are. Most people have good friends, but I have hit the jackpot on this one. I have several friends who would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. In short, my friends put Carrie Bradshaw's foursome to shame. Plus, they wouldn't steal my best heels!

5. For my job. I'm grateful for my career, its advancements, and the opportunities I receive at work. Regardless of my stress, I am grateful for my job each and every day I walk through the front doors of the hospital. It's easy to take any career for granted, but in this economy, I'm grateful just to have a job.

5. For the other awesome opportunities I've had. Yes, I've been able to travel and experience a lot of neat cultural events, shows, recitals, musicals, theatricals, etc. But I'm especially happy for the 'carpe diem' attitude I cultivated from somewhere. From my life experiences, I am acutely aware that life is short and we need to live the best life possible. As a result, I've worked myself to death at work, lived the heck out of each weekend, and am proud to say that I live each day as though it's my last. Y'know, just like in the words of Nickelback in "If Today was Your Last Day."

6. For those who take care of me when my body breaks down. Because I do push the envelope often (frequently? always?), Jack sometimes has to put me back together when I fall apart. Others do, too. Like the lady at Midway Airport who made me a yummy, comforting hot chocolate with hot milk when I was flying with a terrible cold. Or my assistant who, when I was sick, set hot water, a tea bag, and two packets of honey on my desk in my office. Or one of the other executive assistants who can tell when I need a strong cup of coffee in the afternoon at work (sense a theme here?)

7. For the knowledge that life is a journey and that I don't have to be perfect yet. While I'm achieving a lot at work, it's definitely, most definitely taking a toll. I'm grateful that I don't *have* to have this all down yet; that I have the rest of my life to perfect what I'm doing, where I'm going, and why. And yes, I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. Actually, can you help remind me, too?

That's the greatest realization...that none of us have to be perfect at this thing called life.

Now...where's that turkey?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year with the five F's. Great, homemade food, family, faith, football, and fire. It's the one holiday my mom lights the fireplace and we have the ambient warmth of a Norman Rockwell scene...until the women get too hot from cooking in the kitchen and can the fire!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Boundaries

I haven't had time to say a whole lot to say this week (aside from my regularly scheduled posts!). I had a terrible, sleep-deprived week and nearly walked off the job on Friday afternoon.

Yep, I have days like that, too.

Monday and Tuesday of last week were normal days, full of meetings and on both days, I sat down in my office around 5 pm to start my "real" work. I am still responsible for a few reports, analyses, and the emails. Oh, the emails. I usually receive more than 100 per day. It's insanity. So on Monday, I think I left by 7:30 pm.

Then on Tuesday, right after I sat down to do my real work, Nurse Jackie sort of slunk into my office with a devious look on her face. She said, "Um, we need your help. Got a sec?"

Always the people-pleaser, I agreed. Nurse Jackie threw a 34-page financial report on my desk (it landed with a thud and dust scattered) and asked me to create a presentation from it. Dumbfounded, I asked why the report's owner (one of the other execs, whose identity I will not disclose) did not write the presentation. Nurse Jackie responded that this *was* his presentation. In other words, it wasn't going to work.

So insert me, coming in at the 11th hour, to try and recreate the thought process of one of our most seasoned execs. I read through the 34 page report numerous times, restructuring, trying to underline the reasoning and define an argument. I was in my office until late evening on Tuesday and Wednesday nights and finally emerged with a reasonable document.

THEN, on Thursday, I had to meet one of my colleagues from St. Piggy's at 7 a.m. for Lean training at St. Fozzie's. Joe, my colleague from St. Piggy's, is willing to help me jump-start a Lean program at St. Fozzie's; he let us use his material and traveled up to Chicagoland to help me facilitate training for 100 people. We had an awesome simulation where the leaders had to staff "St. Potato Hospital" and put a patient through the hospital by constructing a Mister Potato Head. Then we teach them how to Kaizen and have them fix a bunch of parts of the hospital. Then we have them run the simulation again, attaching the hospital stay to money, billing for each completed Potato Head, subtracting for quality defects and FTE's. The result? An operating margin. All of the hospital leaders understand the simulation in terms of the operating margin!

That went on for three sessions on Thursday and two sessions Friday. Even though my speaking part was small, about 5-7 minutes per session, I was trying to mentally support my friends and St. Fozzie's colleagues as they helped their peers understand the concepts. Many of our folks aren't seasoned speakers and were nervous. By the Friday sessions, everyone was keen on their parts and we flowed like a machine. A machine, I tell you!

However, I had an irate patient family interrupt my aura and the newest manager I just hired had her baptism by fire. So I kept having to step out to speak with her, the ICU manager, and the Director of Nursing. Fun stuff. There's nothing like speaking to groups of people and having your pager going off the whole live-long day.

But by the time the last session concluded on Friday, I was starting to crash and burn. I actually surpassed 80 hours and as I drug myself back to my office after the last session, I couldn't care less about what was going on. I had survived the week and all I could think about was my bed. I knew I had to get out of there and asked my assistant to page me only in an emergency.

I left work by 4:30pm and was home, in my bed, crashed out asleep by 6pm. Jack let me sleep and didn't bother me all evening.

I'm trying to figure out how to draw some boundaries with work so I don't burn myself out like this. I was actually sick from the stress I was under and spent most of Saturday with a sleep hang-over and a headache. Despite our house inspection on the new house (which came back perfect...they didn't require us to get anything done on the house), Jack put me to bed by 8pm so I could avoid the cold threatening to massacre my immune system!

Alas, it worked. I woke up refreshed and ready to go on Sunday. All we really did was hit mass, go for a long walk, and watch the new Harry Potter (was scary and sad). However, because we went to 11:00 mass, I spent the morning completing an ethics paper for school. I wonder if they will detract from my grade since I was working on Catholic bioethics on a Sunday morning and was, obviously, breaking the Sabbath?? Hmmmmm!

Fabulous!

I checked my horoscope on The Onion, a hysterical website that makes me laugh when I need a quick escape from work (*cough, cough*), not that I was trying to escape work.

"Your admirable decision to lead a life of honesty and moral rectitude will bring your career in advertising to a sudden and drastic end."

Fabulous!

Now, where's that trash can I need to empty? And don't I have an errand to run? Ooooh, a rerun of Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving!

Deja Vu

My life has shifted to include three central items: work, Jack, and the house (don't worry, God still counts as number 0, as the precursor to all three). The house came along at just the right time. I needed a project!

Work will probably take a lot of my time for the next 30 years. Nurse Jackie asked me to create a new service line at the St. Fozzie's (actually, she told me I'm going on a site visit to a hospital in Milwaukee and I actually had to prompt her to tell me what she was asking me to do). I was asked to create an osteoporosis clinic, to help bolster our women's care services. I'm excited about this opportunity, but stoked about the way I keep getting asked to create programs. The ol' resume is growing.

Although we both put a lot of time into work, marriage still comes first. That's why we agreed to have one weekly "date night" per week. It ends up being "go home, get into pj's, and watch America's Funniest Home Videos together on the couch," but that's okay. So that's why this house project came along at the right time. We need something else to do with our lives to get out of work mode more often. Plus, it gives Jack and I an excuse to go bummin' together on weekends.

We took our first trip to Lowe's yesterday, in search of paint colors. We spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars at Lowe's during the past several years. We refinished virtually our entire house in SB and regularly strolled the aisles at Lowe's, dreaming up ideas and color schemes for our house. Well, in the new house, it isn't much different. The great thing is that, with a new construction, everything is done. It's new and fresh and we don't have to do anything. Granted, all the fixtures and lights are contractor-grade crapola (and Jack can't stand uniform conformity!), but they are functional. Nonetheless, we strolled the aisles at Lowe's dreaming up our color scheme for the new house.

The weird part? After picking out a new chandelier, pendant lighting for the kitchen, ceramic tile, and a slew of paint colors, we realized that we're subconsciously trying to re-create our old house! We're trying to inject some character into the sterile, bland house! It's an intentional deja vu.

The other thing is that I am tempted to pick paint colors based on their names. Doesn't "Sunset Bliss" sound better than "Pale Ecru?" How about "Serenity" instead of "Washed Denim?" I particularly liked "Creme Brulee" over "Beeswax." Perhaps I shouldn't pick paint colors if I'm hungry.

Regardless, this is super fun and I'm very glad the house opportunity presented itself. It's so easy for me to lose myself in work and the Christmas season is very tough for me. So this will be a great diversion and give me something else to focus on for a while. Plus, it's just great to be able to reorganize everything. Nesting 101!

Our home inspection is Saturday (after which, we're going to hang around and measure for curtains!) and after a successful inspection, the appraisal will be completed. After that, the complete file will go to the underwriters and pending their stamp of approval, we will close the week of December 6, and move to our new house on December 11.

St. Fozzie Season

Are you kidding me? You know this whole recurrence of St. Fozzie thing we keep experiencing out here in Chicagoland? Well, I just drove by the title company we've selected to coordinate the closing of our new house. It's in a little strip mall and when I glanced up for the name of the strip mall, it was called St. Fozzie's Way.

I just laughed. This is starting to feel weird.

I think it's time to look up a short bio of St. Fozzie and accept this guy as one of our patrons. I should fashion a St. Fozzie's statue for our home. The new house has an "art niche" in the living room...which has generated a bit of conversation between Jack and me. We're talking about rotating seasonal art in the niche (little Christmas tree at Christmas, my little Easter tree at Easter, an orchid in summer, etc.). I wonder which season should qualify as Fozzie season?

I'm sorry...am so very tired and still on pain meds from my amazing (read: awful and painful) root canal experience on Friday! I've put over $4,000 into my mouth in the past few months...take it from me, do everything you can to take care of your teeth. If your kids grow up on well water, give them flouride pills so they do not have to go through this!

Joke Journal: Friars

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

We're HO's Again

...As in "Homeowners!" We got our house today at a perfect equilibrium price. We paid as much as we were willing to pay and the sellers are selling for as small of a price as they'll take. It's just nuts; we got 30% off that price.

A house on sale! Even better! I'll post pictures of the inside when we get the keys in mid-December. Oh, and for the few of you who have asked, the house I posted here two days ago is NOT the real house. It just looks sort of like the two we were vacillating about and I wanted to give you the general idea.

I'm superstitious! I can't help it!

Anyway, I'm plowing forward with my usual 13-14 hour days, (barely) keeping up with my Ethics homework (which is threatening to turn me into a philosophical wreck), negotiating on the house, drinking an awful lot of coffee, AND I have another marathon dental appointment tomorrow. I have plenty of pain meds to see me through this time!

Big Brother

So ever since I granted my assistant full access to my Outlook email (she can edit, create, delete, etc.), I’ve had a bit of a complex. She will create meetings for me, invite me, then accept the invitation she (through me) created. I have meetings popping up on my calendar that I never created or even remember accepting. Or I’ll have meetings postponed (or disappear) and be none the wiser.

I feels a bit “big brother” how she can delete emails (I asked that she deleted the junk that flies through every day and print anything larger than 1MB so it doesn’t fill up my box). But the phantom meeting phenomena is something new to me! When you live and die by your blackberry, it’s hard to relinquish control of your calendar.

Me? A control freak? Get out.

Under St. Fozzie's Wing

So Jack and I hit the road yesterday and looked at five properties. Actually (blushing), we looked at four properties and one of them twice. And we have one more to see again today.

It's down to a stately villa on the Illinois border and a two-story townhouse on a road called St. Fozzie's Avenue. Okay, it's not "St. Fozzie's," but it IS the same name as our hospital. Do you believe in serendipity and all that hoopla? Because I do, to an extent. I rented my current hovel, I mean, house, sight unseen. I knew it would be okay because I logged into Google maps, input my address, then searched for the nearest Catholic church. The nearest church? You got it, St. Fozzie's.

I don't know why we've chosen to attach ourselves to St. Fozzie's (or, perhaps, he's chosen to attach himself to us), but it's getting interesting. We used to walk by this particular townhouse and think, "wow, that'd be a great place to live!" When we drove by and saw a For Sale sign in the yard, I glanced up at the street sign so I could reference the correct listing when calling our realtor. Of course, it was St. Fozzie's Avenue.

In the words of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone, "Is this a joke?"

So it's down to the villa, which, for the record, qualifies as my dream house and a slightly-more modest (about 400 square feet smaller) townhouse on St. Fozzie's Avenue. We didn't think we'd find a home (or two!) so quickly. But then again, when you know exactly what you want, what you're willing to spend, and where you want to be located, it's easy to focus your search.

Is it bad that I've already been visiting the Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, and Ethan Allen websites to discern bedroom furniture choices!??!?

Silenzio!

Recently, I had the unfortunate opportunity to attend an Italian wake for one of my assistant’s family members. She’s Italian and her remaining family in Italy flew in for the funeral.

Still new to the area and the interesting culture surrounding Italians in Chicago (ahem!), I didn’t know what to expect. I knew everything would be Catholic and in Italian, but my knowledge of Italian wakes ended there. I sort of expected mobsters in pale pastel suits to storm in, twirling their tommy guns around their thumbs.

I scanned the lobby and saw a sign that said “Silenzio.” Even with my limited Italian vocabulary (I know the important words…for wine, ice cream, and the Pope), I knew “silenzio” means “silence.”

So I walked into the beautifully-decorated funeral parlor and luckily, I spotted one of my co-workers. She was walking around, looking lost. I went up to her and befuddled, she said, “I think we’re in the wrong place. I don’t know who the Silenzio family is!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle…and at least there were no obvious mobsters to report!

Condo Updates

I'm happy to report that we were pre-approved for our mortgage. We applied for the mortgage on Monday and then did not hear anything from the bank for four days. Jack called and they said they hadn't gotten to it yet. I finally called the bank on Thursday afternoon and told them, if they couldn't make a decision, I had other banks who would quickly get my business. The loan officer pulled our file and called me back in 5 minutes with a resounding "yes."

Then I went home and discovered a huge packet from the same bank with our pre-approval notice and more paperwork to fill out. Whoops. They could have called! It would have saved me a quasi-embarrassing, stern phone call to the poor loan officer who happened to pick up my call.

Anyway, we're happily on the market for a condo. The walls in our current apartment feel like they're closing in on us...each time we visit a nice, new condo and return home to our hovel, it feels smaller and smaller! So we're definitely excited about this prospect.

Plus, we know exactly what sort of condo we want (basically, two of everything...two bedrooms, two baths, two-car garage). While the Beer Garden condo is still in the running, we are looking a several others tomorrow. We have our list of pro's and con's and our non-negotiables.

So, hopefully, we will have a home by New Years! Hurray!

Managerial Pickle

I have a problem I need to air and could use your feedback on this one. It's more of a difference of philosophies, but it's affecting me.

I'm in a director role. I have seven managers that report to me. I inherited all but one of them, so I am doing my best to work with them and collaborate whenever we can. Two of these managers tend to have guilt complexes (of sorts). Their employees (numbering from 2-16) are front-line staff who keep the clinical areas going. Most of them perform well and do their jobs day-after-day without much change in their routines. However, these front-line staff sometimes have family situations that are problematic. It might be a socio-economic difference, a divorce, or kids going off to school. Whatever the case, some of the front-line staff are not the best stewards of the money they earn at work and tend to look to the hospital to bridge the shortfall.

In short, they don't prioritize their earnings well, live beyond their means, and then blame management for not paying them enough.

I understand this situation, really. However, I feel like I'm in a Catch 22 situation when the managers come to me and say, "Patty is a reliable employee. She's here consistently and does a good job. But she's having a hard time at home right now, can we please pay her more?" No, we cannot.

While I am sympathetic toward these employees' hard home lives, I am not responsible for how they choose to spend their money. I pay them a fair wage and our Human Resources department annual evaluates everyone's wage to make sure they are consistent with the rest of Chicago. I do my absolute best to be fair and consistent in my managerial approach, and to boot, I am still under the administrative hammer of cost control. I cannot just extend raises to employees because they feel they need more take-home pay. And I do not think it is fair to others. For example, what about employee "Tony" who manages his money really well and chose to forego the huge plasma television set that Patty has?

I guess it stems from needing to work with the managers more often so they understand the context. They all know our financial landscape and we repeatedly communicate that our wages are at median for the rest of Chicago….but with these two managers, it is not sticking. They keep raising this concern to me with hopes that I will change my mind. I'm not going to waiver, but I'm not sure how to get these managers to grasp the concept that we're paying our employees equivalently and it is not up to us to save them from their personal financial crises?

Thoughts…?

Beer Gardens

So the news of the day is that Jack and I appear to be house-hunting. Er, I mean, condo-hunting. We already decided that we do NOT want a house; the maintenance and yardwork-free lifestyle is completely worth the association fees! That's how we chose to spend Halloween 2010.

We have been trying to live the humble lifestyle (read: packed like sardines in an 800 square foot apartment...coming from a house nearly twice the size of that). My bachelorette pad was fine when it was just me and Jack would come to visit every third weekend. But now, with some of our furniture, the crystal and small appliances that we received for our wedding, and my beloved shoe collection, we just don't fit. Plus, we're literally tripping over each other during our morning routines. Jack leaves when I do and has to get all gussied up now for work. While it's great that we can guzzle our (Caribou!) coffee together in the mornings, this tiny apartment just isn't working out.

When you can get something cluttered up in the span of 10 minutes, it's not good. I abhor clutter and I mess up the living room just by setting down my crapola from the day.

So we're in the market for a condo. We briefly tossed around the idea of moving downtown, but it makes more sense to stay in our Chicagoland suburb. We know and love the area, it's a decent commute to work, and we're only 20 miles from the Loop. We haven't called the bank for a pre-approval yet (that's this week), but we toured a couple condos yesterday.

One was in what can only be described as a retirement community, but it was GORGEOUS. Rose-colored brick with huge windows, it was nearly brand-new and offered stunning blond wood floors, cathedral ceilings, two bedrooms, wainscoting in the office, and two huge bathrooms (hurray!). The kitchen was okay, but the open concept was great and allowed a lot of light inside.

Then we visited a two-story townhouse (also with huge windows) that had two bedrooms, two glorious bathrooms, an awesome kitchen with an island, and a loft (for a cool office! Hurray!), a two-car garage, and a beer garden.

Seriously, a beer garden. There's about a 15-foot space between the French doors and the garage...just enough space to set up a couple of chaise loungers, a grill, and string up some lights for summertime parties. As we walked out, Jack leaned over and said, "Can we just buy this one? I want a beer garden!"

We're looking into this and while we have a general idea of our price range, I think we're going to move forward and see what the bank has to say. Despite our rotten experience selling our house in SB, now we'll get to be the buyers in the buyers' marketplace and make all sorts of crazy demands on the sellers!

Just kidding.

But if, for some crazy reason, we end up buying that townhouse with the beer garden, Jack said we have to clear a tiny patch of the yard, put down some dirt, and "plant" a couple empty beer bottles in the ground. Y'know, for a beer garden. Hey, admit it's a funny idea.

So more to come, I'm sure. I do have to admit that it's WAY more fun to be a buyer than a seller in this market!

A Trippin' Soiree

Okay, time for the few vacation stories that don't involve male strippers, hitch-hiking, or the bribes we had to pay movie stars to just leave us alone already!

Just kidding, Jack!

The Edge and I (sounds like "the King and I," eh?) had a great time on our recent five-day beach getaway.



On the first day, The Edge and I quickly drove from the airport to our condo, rushing to land our feet in the sand. After a quick grocery store run, we smashed vacation records by being happily strewn about in our lounge chairs within 2 hours of landing in Florida. That night, it was dinner at a beachside grille, at which we dug our feet in the sand and knocked back a couple hurricanes.

Day two, we spent the majority of the blazingly hot day out at the beach, under beach umbrellas. Desperate to cool off from the 90+ degree heat, we wondered into the Gulf. The Gulf was as still as a pond, with 2-3 inch waves lapping quietly up to shore. We crept forward and I marveled at how clear the water was...even with water up to my chest, I could still see my feet. That's par for the course in Grand Cayman, but pretty odd off the coast of Florida. As The Edge and I lazily paddled around the water, we both noticed our hands sort of hitting "something." It felt like patches of thick water and I thought I was repeatedly brushing the ties on the sides of my suit bottoms. The Edge then looked down and we both immediately realized we were swimming in a sea of jellyfish!

Yes, jellyfish. We both sprinted out of the water and I quickly ran to my blackberry and googled "please tell me there are such things as non-stinging jellyfish!" Nope, there are not...but these guys weren't adults yet. Whew.

Back on the beach, we turned our chairs around to watch a wedding taking place about 100 yards away, in the sand. We watched a man escort a woman down the "aisle;" she was wearing a moderately-fancy white dress. Then another man escorted a woman down the aisle and she was wearing a full, cathedral-length sparkly white gown. The Edge and I sort of looked at each other like, "Hmm, that's weird. Why is one bridesmaid wearing a white dress and where is the guy the cathedral-length-dress-wearer is marrying?"

Then it hit us both (at the same instant) that we were witnessing a lesbian wedding. On the beach.

The next day, we entered our same routine of beach and pool-hopping, only to witness a Discover Channel experience taking place out to sea. We spotted a pod of dolphins a hundred yards offshore and squealed with glee at their appearance (hey, it was cool!). Then we watched in horror as the pod attacked a school of fish and the fish went flying feet up into the air (either in escape or to get away from the predators!). I only wished I had one of those time-elapsed cameras! For lunch that day, we visited a po-dunk, on-the-bay "restaurant" that was fabled to have the best fish on the Island. It did and that fish will withstand any taste test. That night at dinner, we chose a place known for their seafood, if only for the goal of trying to upstage the fish we tried for lunch. Dinner was good, but the bottle of wine we shared probably had something to do with that! Oh, that afternoon, we went bodyboarding. The jellyfish were gone by that point (at least, they appeared to be!)



The day after that, we again did our same beach/pool practice. I think I could take a month-long vacation and keep up that same routine the entire time....morning run, have coffee, go to beach, go back to condo for lunch makings, go to pool, go back to condo, shower, go to dinner, and take a quick dip in the pool before bed.

In fact, that's what I plan to do in early February when Jack and I go back to The Island!

The last thing I want to mention is the oh-so-beautiful sunsets. The Gulf coast is the best place to see sunsets and we took so many pics of the setting sun.



However, they all sort of look alike after a while. so I started messing with my camera settings:



See? Who wouldn't want a picture of a sunset while on LSD? :)

The trip was wonderful, girl time appreciated. But it's time to return (full speed!) to the daily grind!

Inertia

Ugh, I'm having one of those days where I could easily lay down on a cold, concrete floor and immediately pass out into a comatose slumber. I don't know if it's the adjustment back into work mode; the drastic (and painful!) weather change of going from 91 and sunny to a blustery 45 degrees, gray skies, and bare trees; or just the fact that my body already thinks it's the dead of winter (getting dark way too early these days). Whatever the case, I just couldn't get going today and I don't even think I fully woke up. I had to lead two meetings today and I really hope I faked my trademark energy and enthusiasm well…something tells me I didn't, though, because I practically fell asleep leading one of the meetings.

Ooops.

Big, long sigh.

[Start the dream sequence here]

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday morning, I went for my daily, morning jog on the beach and nearly overheated in the 80 degree, 99% humidity that is a Floridian dawn. It was my last morning walk until the next vacation (who in the world gets up at 4 a.m. to work out?) and I was going to make the most of it. I gazed longingly out to sea as I passed flocks of seagulls and dozens of pelicans bobbing on the water. I watched little crabs scurry across the fine, white sand and tried to memorize the exact timing of the wave swells as they rolled into shore. I absorbed every sound and even muted Jimmy Buffet's "Coastal Confessions" and "Juicy Fruit" to fully enjoy the sound of the waves.

A few hours later, I willingly boarded a plane to come home, knowing full well the wind storm that was Chicago. We were surprised that we boarded and left FL on time and started to descend into the Chi. Then the super winds caught the aircraft and not only dropped by hundreds of feet at a time (hello, stomach!), but listed side to side on the way down. It was pretty intimidating to look over, out the window, and see the GROUND straight down there. Yeah, not a fan.

We landed successfully, albeit it totally nauseated, shaky, and dizzy...and the whole plane cheered and applauded our saintly pilots. Me, I was tempted to "whoop, whoop" it, like in the dog pound (a la Arsenio Hall). I thought better of it, lest I get beat up by the gentleman in parachute pants two rows up.

So all of you stop drinking your Hatorade out there, I totally got my comeuppance for flaunting my 91 degree sunshine!

Even though it was only 5 days, it was a fantastic break. Along with some of our wacky pictures, I'll share a few of our crazy stories this weekend. As for me, I need to go drink a pot of coffee so I can stay awake long enough tonight to floss my teeth!

Taking A Break

Excuse me, can you please pass the sunscreen?

A Miracle Whip

Quick update on my spasming back…it's better. I went to my "medical massage" last night and I'm sure you will be happy to hear that it wasn't one bit relaxing. Apparently, those types of massages aren't supposed to be relaxing; they are meant to treat you with specific outcomes.

My desired outcome? To please knead out the knots in my back so I can get through a 12 hour day without taking Advil. My stomach lining is at stake here! She looked perplexed and then accepted the challenge.

So picture me, draped appropriately with clean, fragrant linens. Picture aromatherapy candles placed strategically around the room to create ambient lighting and peaceful scents. Then include the surround sound system that included a relaxing, slow-strumming guitar with breaking waves punctuating the sounds…

…Then picture a short, sort-of Indian, sort-of Mexican-looking woman, standing over me, pushing down with the weight of her body THROUGH HER ELBOW, on the knots in my back. Now listen for my knots as they audibly cracked painfully apart under the pressure. She's a sadist for taking my challenge upon her and I think I'm a masochist for inflicting that upon myself. When I got home, I stood in the shower for at least a half hour, trying to let the hot water further relax my now-war torn back. I felt awful and crawled into bed as soon as I could.

But this morning, while I woke up a little sore, I felt good. I felt WELL. And as the day progressed onward, I felt better and better. I was able to stand up straighter.

So Operation: Back Masochism worked well. And I plan to have that lady beat me up every two weeks for a while!

Alternative Treatment

Ugggh, I think it's official. I work too much (although, somehow, I feel better when I'm driving home at night and see the Chicago skyline twinkling. It reminds me that I've come sooooo far in these last couple years and really shouldn't let up).

Anyway, yesterday was another 12+ hour day where I ran from meeting to meeting (to meeting!). My last meeting of the day was with Nurse Jackie, where I updated her on a few things I've been working on, then she gave me a couple new things to work on, and so on goes the gravy train.

In the last five minutes of our meeting, she wanted to go over my evaluation. My evaluation?! I get one of those?! I didn't even know I was due.

It was short and sweet and while she spewed all sorts of positive and uplifting praise, it was very nice to receive some feedback. Anyone who knows me well knows that I sort of (okay, totally) thrive on recognition and achievement. Trust me, I'm working on it.

After another couple hours that I spent drafting a policy and writing a white paper, I stretched out of my wired-in posture and about fell out of my chair. The long hours are completely mangling my back and my super-sized knots aren't going away. One time the pain was so bad that I thought I was coming down with kidney stones. Yes, yes, I know, that should be a sign to cool it. Again, working on it!

In my fit of desperation, I called our in-hospital medical spa to see if I could pull a few quick strings for a massage appointment. One of the masseuses offered to stay late to help me, but I didn't want to pull the political card. So I did a quick search closer to home and found a masseuse in my neighborhood (in a doctor's office). I gave him a quick call and he said he had a cancellation tomorrow evening opening for a medical massage.

A medical massage? What exactly is a medical massage?

Yeah, I thought the same thing! Sign me up! If something is "medically necessary," then I have permission to relax and indulge, right?

I took the appointment. I'll let you know how this "medical massage" varies from the typical "buff and puff" massages in the salons. Ever since I lost my dear masseuse when I left SB (this woman was amazing...I had monthly 2-hour hot rock massages where I could barely grasp the steering wheel to drive home), I've been on the look out for a new masseuse. I tried a couple, but they just couldn't compare. Most of the masseuses out there chat at you and ask questions while you're *trying* to relax. Did they not get the memo!?

I've recently become interested in researching these alternative therapies. I've never been a supported of osteopathic, chiropractic medicine, or holistic treatments, but I'm getting desperate. All I can really do with "modern medicine" is take pain relieving drugs and take 2 weeks off from work to stretch and soak in a tub. Neither approach is working for me (the pain relievers make me foggy at work...a no-go...and the tub isn't feasible *at* work). So I've branched out. Tomorrow I've getting a back crack AND a medical massage.

I really hope this helps. I do not see the hours letting up anytime soon and I hope the treatments help me cope...sans pain relievers!

On the DL

I did a reasonably good job of relaxing this weekend; I took most of Saturday off to do a long walk with Jack, watch some football, and watch two movies (Juno and Did You Hear About the Morgans?). The only problem with taking Saturday off was that I knew I would need to work on Sunday.

And so I did. I hated to go into the office, but I am so much more productive there then at home. Plus, I had a massive ethics assignment where I had to (repeatedly) apply the principles of double effect and proportionate means. Cue the xanax!

The biggest news of the day is that I pulled my hamstring in a heated tennis game with Jack after I got home from work. Reaching for a tight backhand, I felt my hamstring tweak with pain and five minutes later, I could barely hobble around the tennis court. Cue the advil!

As soon as we got home, I retreated to the couch and let Jack take care of me. He made dinner and finished the laundry and *forced* me to sit on my ice pack all evening, with my feet propped up. It was hard work to just sit there...really...!

Cue the sarcasm!

Quote Journal: Francis

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

-St. Francis of Assisi

This quote is plastered occasionally around the hospital in size 190 point font. Every time I see it, I am reminded that, no matter how maxed-out I feel, I need to just do what is necessary. Keep putting one foot in front of the other!

It's actually a nice prioritization technique, too. Leave it to St. Franny for good organizational methodology!

Reese's to the Rescue

Tonight was a Level IV night (rare for a Monday) and Jack, true to his supportive nature, met me at the door with a box of Reese's Pieces, a cute card, and a bottle of wine. While I still had to work, just knowing he cared enough to put together a "Level IV Package" made me feel wonderful. And despite my exhaustion, I was able to power onward.

Granted, my eyes are crossing involuntarily as I write this!

I started my day with the usual operations meetings and was interrupted mid-morning by a 29-year old patient needing emergency plasma apheresis (where we sort of "add" platelets to his blood because he didn't have any by a fancy transfusion that first runs through a machine to sift out the platelets). This required an emergency meeting with our contracted company, an emergency meeting with Blue Cross Blue Shield, an emergency call with the Illinois Dept of Public Health to make sure we were even licensed to provide this treatment, and the drafting of an emergency contract with the consult of our legal team.

After four harrowing hours, we finalized everything and shipped the patient off to the blood bank at our other campus for his type and screen. While we were doing EVERYTHING possible to expedite this for the patient, I could see how they might have been inpatient...four hours for a hospital to coordinate care for one patient?!?! This was our first ever outpatient plasma apheresis case we've ever had and darnitall, it all came together for the patient!

One 29-year old was saved today!

The rest of my day consisted of a bunch of chats with the Education Director as I finalize the roll-out of my next hospital program, I oversaw a health fair that the managers of two of my areas hosted (it was GREAT), and conversed with Nurse Jackie for two hours about the Craziness Project. You get to a point where you're not sure how you're still standing upright! I wanted to close my eyes as I drove down the highway, on my way home.

Remember that episode of Ellen from the 1990's, where she is driving late at night and drifts off at the wheel? When she awakens in her car (unscathed), she's in a pasture surrounded by cows. Without opening her eyes, she says, "I'd like a coffee, please!" Then a cow moooos loudly next to her and she says, "Yes, I'd love a splash of milk in it!" I think of that scene when I'm ready to drift off and chuckling, it helps keep me awake a while longer!!

The Hangover

While my hangover didn't consist of a wild night in Vegas during which I somehow stole Mike Tyson's Bengal tiger, I've been hungover these past two days.

I nursed two glasses of wine during the five hour gala (and know it's not a chemical dehydration induced from the alcohol), but keep feeling very, very tired. You know that feeling you have after weddings, where you're sort of let down and exhausted? That's how I feel. Unless it's because I'm getting sick again and that's just not even worth joking about!

Last night, Jack and I finally went to see "The Social Network." While the flick was obviously targeted at the Gen X and Y age brackets, it was a very good story. Along the lines of "Good Will Hunting," the story narrated the probable story behind the creation of Facebook. The movie producers have never actually met Mark Zuckerberg (or so I read), but the producers' interpretation of Mark was convincing. The script was brilliant and I will be surprised if this film's screenplay isn't nominated for an Oscar. You know a movie is good if it provides you mental fodder...and dinner conversation for two meals!

So after our usual Sunday routine of mass/grocery shopping/brunch, we each settled in on our laptops and worked...All day. Gee, the exciting lives we lead. I'm really trying to *not* work on Sundays, but so far, that hasn't worked out so well!

Maybe next week!

Disfigured Feet...For a Good Cause!

Last night's hospital gala was an astounding success! We raised somewhere north of $300,000 and while my feet are probably forever disfigured from my torturing (but oh, so cute!) heels, Jack and I had a wonderful time at the Palmer House Hilton.

I had raced home from a patient care emergency to get my nails done and figure out my hair situation (to up do' or not to up 'do?). Jack arrived home shortly after me and after our requisite primping, we stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine and began the usually-30 minute drive downtown.

...but because of the Chicago marathon, an extra 45,000 people were in the city...milling around Michigan Street. So it took us over an hour to arrive and by the time we did so, we were quasi-wilted!

Regardless, we arrived in style, quickly met up with a few physicians and entered the main ballroom. It was PACKED. The gala was sold out and you could tell; seven-hundred people in black tie attire filled that room until you could barely move. We avoided the moving masses of people and shopped instead.

Silent auctions lined the ballroom's "ante" room, everything from wine tastings to restaurant certificates, from spa treatments to trips, from signed sports paraphernalia to Christina Aguilera concert tickets. I quickly decided I would bid on a package including two box seats in the Chicago Symphony and dinner at Rhapsody. I opened the bid and told Jack we'd babysit that one. I've always wanted to see the Chicago Symphony and, well, the tickets were for the performance on my birthday so I would save Jack a shopping trip!

On the same table, I spotted another auction item on which I wanted to bid: a large gift certificate to the RedHead Piano Bar (we've been "dying" to go there; they have amazing piano/jazz reviews) and a yacht cruise out on Lake Michigan at sunset (I guess so you can see the skyline from the water, at night). It was an impulse bid and I forgot I even bid on it!

After milling around the ballroom for a while, noshing on petite appetizers and champagne, it was time to begin dinner. A string quartet played while we dined on boring salads, dry, over-cooked filet, strange potatoes, and cute vegetables. To be completely honest, Jack could have grilled a better filet in his sleep...in the woods...without a grill! Not impressed by the food.

As the desserts blanketed the room, the formal program started. It included the usual set of speeches and presentations from any benefit, except this time, Jack had a personal stake in the celebratory video. He narrated part of it. It was strange (and yet, very cool) to hear Jack's voice booming around an at-capacity ballroom. I felt a swell of pride for him and sort of laughed when I glanced over at him and saw a look of wild terror on his face!

After the formal program concluded, we skipped the dance floor (the band, sophisticated and posh during dinner, immediately started playing songs that bands play at the end of weddings, where everyone is already sweaty and tipsy) and returned to the silent auctions. I entered into a bidding war on the Symphony package and it was now 4x the original price. I placed one last bet, thinking we'd probably lose the auction. I had forgotten about the RedHead package and picked up a "grab bag." For $100, you were guaranteed $250 worth of "stuff." Plus, our past president of the medical staff's wife coarsed me into buying one. Not really. (But she did!). The grab bag contained a good bottle of wine, Opera tickets, a gift cert for Cilantro's, a pedicure, and what I was most shocked by, a $100 gift card to a jeweler in town. Jack just signed and shook his head when he discovered that!

The wedding-esque dancing was going full tilt and Jack and I sat with several co-workers and enjoyed the last few songs of the evening. We did dance a couple of times, but events like that go so quickly. You're just getting comfortable and the band announces its last set!

The silent auctions closed and I swung back by our table to confirm that I probably lost the Symphony bet. Not only did we win the Symphony package, but I noticed my name circled on the RedHead/yacht package! We won both! With the grab bag I had purchased earlier, I spent (*cough, cough*) hundred dollars! While it was more than I intended, I know it's for a good cause. The cause that employs us both!

Last year, I kept gazing around the ballroom, thinking to myself, "wow, how in the world did I ever end up here?" This year, I was able to own the experience more and because of my involvement in the hospital, had much more fun at the event. I think Jack did, too, despite his look of wild terror at hearing his own narration!

So today, I'm hobbling around in my slippers, because my feet are killing me from my high-heeled sandals. But I keep telling myself, "it was for a good cause!"

Weirdness

Okay, so is it weird (or, perhaps, unethical?) that Sister Lourdes asked me to proofread and edit her ethics assignment?

Was this a test? Should I have turned the Good Sister down in her request to have me edit her work? Was she testing my ethical nature to see if I'd make her do her own ethics homework? This whole situation oozes irony and now I'm double-guessing myself and my acceptance of Sister's draft ethics assignment.

So tonight, I need to answer about 40 emails, update one of the action plans, and...edit Sister's ethics homework. WEIRD!

The Disappearing Week

This week feels like a waste, work-wise. Here it is, already Wednesday evening, and I don't have a whole lot to show for my week...Except a new pair of boots, a wine aerator, and a few thick binders from my conference. I just don't feel effective because I haven't been able to cross anything off my to-do list lately.

I love having so many opportunities to travel, but it gets exhausting. I get tired of packing, unpacking, and repacking my suitcase and finally just started leaving all my little travel size shampoo/condit/deodor/etc. bottles in my bag for next time.

However, the strategic planning conference was great and a completely wonderful use of my time. I met several great contacts and it reaffirmed what I suspected the strategic planning process looks like. In short, we spent 1.5 days plodding through an extensive planning process for cancer services for a large metropolitan hospital. Then we had to present our plans and justify them while the others (50 or so) tried to shoot holes in your logic.

I planned to drive up to Skokie Monday night, since the last time I drove from the south side to Skokie, it took me an agonizing 3.5 hours. I distinctly remember my calf muscles being sore from the incessant braking on the highway. So I left my office at 7pm on Monday and surprisingly, zipped up there in 45 minutes. In a fit of euphoria, I hit the neighboring mall and did some damage at Nine West and Crate and Barrel.

On Tuesday (on the elevator down to the hotel lobby, actually), I ran into the CEO of St. Swedish Chef, another hospital in the Muppet system. He recognized me (a good thing!) and invited me to "hang" with the strategy director from St. Piggy's. So after the day's conference material, we dined at McCormick and Schmick's. Dinner was good, but my Parmesan-encrusted snapper wasn't worth its $20 sticker price. It's always nice to chat with folks from around the Muppet system; they have a lot of questions about St. Fozzie's and what we're doing up in Chicagoland, to turn the hospitals around. I invited them out for a road trip, to shadow a few areas. Hope this is okay with EVOO and Elvis!

Today, we finished the conference and I cruised home, exhausted and brain dead. I'm tempted to feel overwhelmed with the sheer number of items on my work to-do list and I haven't even started contemplating my ethics paper due on Monday. The topic is Principles of Integrity and Totality and I have a bunch of reading to do before I can even start thinking about my paper's argument. Sigh. Here we go again!

My only full work day is tomorrow (10 hours' of meetings, of course!) and then our hospital's gala is Friday night. I guess a positive upshot to this is that I haven't had a whole lot of time to stuff my face...so that satin dress should fit well on Friday!