Whiplash

Hola!

I'm not entirely too sure where the last two weeks went (and thank you to those of you who wrote to check on me...much appreciated!). It's been a whirlwind and I've felt like one of those wind-up toy soldiers who walk quickly forward, change direction on a whim, and (to the outside observer) look like a chaotic mess of non-organization.

While I was so tired last night that I felt nauseous, I've been handling it pretty well.

Last weekend, Jack went to SB to see the family and attend one of our old parish's fun fundraising events. The guys go every. Single. Year. Sometimes the ladies go, sometimes they don't; I took the weekend as an opportunity to take care of myself and hammer out some work. I spent all of Saturday in my library, crafting my vaccine ethics paper proposal, figuring out the ROI on a physician group we recently bought, and picking through ALL my employees' files with eyes of a Nazi surveyor. Since our accreditation survey is going to happen any time now, I wanted to be ready. Then on Saturday night, I kicked back with a glass of Chardonnay and enjoyed a declining blood pressure while watching "Serendipity." Jack then texts me that he won $1000.

As per my skeptic nature, I refused to believe him. Then I had all my family members texting me separately, that he, indeed, won $1000. So the one time I stay back, he hits it big. Unexcitedly, the money is all going in the bank to pay our taxes (have lots of children...since we don't have kids, Uncle Sam taxes the pants off of us). I did, however, receive a huge bouquet of flowers and a box of Cadbury Eggs from his winnings.

So this week paraded past with my now-routine wishes that things would SLOW DOWN already. Monday and Tuesday were back-to-back (to back) and on Wednesday, I attended one of the Corporate meetings I've been asked to join. It's the Quality Council and while "executive" in nature, I was a bit let down at the lack of substance. However, it's always nice to chat with people on breaks and lunches and that's some of the best networking available.

But there I was again, in SB and wondering what the heck happened to myself. [I'm getting a bit reflective here, so bear with me.] Each time I return to SB, I feel this odd ache, like I have unfinished business of some sort. It doesn't help that I keep having dreams about my old house. In one dream, we still "owned" the house, but the new people were moving in and changing things and I wasn't happy about it. In another dream, the house was physically deteriorating rapidly because I wasn't there to give it my TLC and it just couldn't survive in an other's hands. Either it's my own inflated sense of worth or I still just can't let it go.

SB was my home for the vast majority of my life. I drive through the streets and feel like an adult returning to visit a middle school I attended...everything seems smaller, closer together, and, well, unchanged. You cue the nostalgia and reflect back on how far you've come. I know, I act like I've been gone for 20 years!

But it's the same when I return to SB, even if it's just for a few hours for a Corporate meeting. There is some intangible rubberband that yanks me back from the boardrooms and meetings and makes me miss the days when I'd visit my mom on my lunch hour, go swimming after work, and visit with the neighbors because everyone was always outside.

It gives me whiplash. But in a good way. It reminds me that I have roots that need to be respected and cherished. They form my foundation.

[Okay, dramatic, nostalgic stuff over with now.]

So that's what's *really* going on. Aren't you glad you asked? ;)