Firsts

I have a lot of firsts in my job. Most days bring about some new experience, analysis, question, introduction, interaction, or decision.

Unbeknownst to me, I've been kicked out of the nest. Well, slowly pushed just past the brink of the edge, where I feel like Wiley E. Coyote hovering in the air, 2,890 feet above a canyon floor. Nurse Jackie, Elvis, and EVOO did this quite cunningly, slowly transitioning large decision-making responsibilities to me.

It's both scary and empowering.

I need this. It's a growth experience and I'm quite aware that everything I do is on stage. Someone is always watching.

The firsts this week were painful. And they continually force me to have faith in my own decisions. It dawned on me that my decisions count and they're quickly affecting lives.

The training wheels are gone. Water wings deflated. Safety net folded and stored.

On Monday, I invited our VP of Finance to a throughput meeting for support on our average-length-of-stay goals for the hospital. EVOO didn't like that I challenged his authority. But I needed others to see another angle. Later that day, I took a couple managers over to an empty clinic space in the hospital and we walked through it, deciding who would go where when we moved. Based on their feedback, I informed the architects. It was fun to draw on the blueprints and negotiate with the architects!

On Tuesday, I fired an employee for a sexual harassment charge. After three painful hours of face-to-face interviews with the offender's co-workers, I made the decision on a very gray matter. It came down to ethics; we're not accepting that type of behavior and I refuse to subject women to that sort of environment.

Wednesday ushered in an early commute downtown for my first courtroom drama. I, along with three witnesses, our VP of Human Resources, and two lawyers, had to defend a termination I did in 2010 for terrible employee performance. She worked for the hospital for 22 years and then sued me/us for ageism. We had probably three reams' worth of documentation arguing this bogus claim. The judge had us each give our testimony and allowed our lawyers to help. It went well, but I kept studying the employee in question. She looked spry...freshly highlighted hair, golden tan, nice nails. Heck, if it were me filing an ageism case, I would have dyed my hair gray and walked in with a cane.

If you're going through the trouble of suing us, make it worth our while, 'kay?

After the two-hour courtroom experience (which went very well, per our attorneys), we celebrated with a trip to Garrett's popcorn. I've had Garrett's a few times, but never tried their spicy cheddar variety. That's the way to go. Calories be damned! It was cute, though; even the lawyers accompanied us and we all held up our popcorn bags on the sidewalk to "toast" the end of the lawsuit.

I attended a few meetings back at the hospital on Wednesday then met my friend Vera for an inaugural boxing class at our gym. It was social! It seemed fun! I would exercise and punch out my stress! Excited to try it, my enthusiasm turned to intimidation when the class filled up with sculpted African American men who had all obviously boxed before. But Vera and I powered through and I figured that'd be the only time in my life when I'd box with 20 dudes!

[Y'know, unless I end up in a street fight on a video game.]

Thursday brought another weird first when I had to teach two classes I was not prepared to teach. It's material I helped develop, but a colleague was to have taught those classes. Luckily, the classes went very well and one of my very favorite, optimistic co-workers saved the day.

She schooled me that day. I swallowed my anger, resolving to let it go and she called me on my attitude. I hadn't said one word and she said, "Sometimes we don't know what other people are going through." She instantly witnessed to the mercy and understanding that only a person with grace can portray. She's not a doormat; rather, the strongest person I know. Between classes, she discussed her own personal mission and how she does what she can, in the throes of each day, to give glory to God. She said it with such optimism and, I don't know, CERTAINTY.

Yep. I was schooled. And continue to be. I have so far to go in my own journey.

Friday, blessedly, was a catch up day for me and I spent the majority of the day talking to people, building relationships and advancing my political platform (hey, a lot of management is getting people lined up to support you!). However, I did have to discipline a manager and start the paper trail to eventually remove him from his position. He was Peter-principled and never quite stepped up to the plate. It'll take 10-12 months to remove him, but I had to begin the process.

Monday is bringing another very yucky first. I'll digest that via written word next week, for I cannot talk about it yet.

In the midst of all these firsts, I've encountered another annoying first...intensive online orientation for grad school. There's a program similar to Blackboard and the school assigned each student FOUR assignments. That's about five hours of work for orientation. That was definitely a first...wasting so much time on futile assignments! Regardless, I received my textbooks for class and can't wait to dig in next week. I haven't studied theology (formally) in twelve years and I hope I remember my biblical exegesis!