Wait, I Guess That's Me, Too

I'm on a quick, much-needed break from having studied Aquinas for the last three hours without a break.  This stuff's deep.  While I love theology and the philosophical logic needed to study it well, it's exhausting.  

[I've also noticed that when I'm in school, I blog more often.  Must be a procrastinatory measure!]

Anyway, I survived Wednesday but had a couple interesting revelations.  After a long day at work, I found my way to the IUPUI campus, to the School of Nursing building.  It was an older building and reminded me of the buildings I frequented during my first two degrees.  You slog through these classes, lost among the trees in the forest, just trying to survive each day, week, semester.  

I watched students slogging through the hallways, shoulders already weary from the weight of life obligations and the burning drive to finish their respective degree programs.  The air hangs heavy with exhaustion and perseverance as everyone's collectively already looking forward to May.  

I will be working with a group of five graduate students at work, as they seek to understand and fix some perplexing problems in the hospital.  It's a real-life practicum.  But those students held up a mirror for me; I remember when I was that exhausted grad student, just trying to survive the daily grind of a full-time job, school, and a marriage/family/friends, all while sneaking in a workout or two to keep my waist in shape.  

I looked back on those few years with some nostalgia.  I remembered the days when I'd leave the house at 7 am (in the dark) and get home at 9 pm (in the dark).  When I had classes on Tuesday and Wednesday, I did not see the sun between Monday evening and Thursday morning.  Oftentimes, I'd glance at the clock in my car and see 7:13 and have to legitimately wonder if it meant "AM" or "PM."  

As I walked through campus Wednesday night, trying to use my trench coat to shield me from the freezing winds, I envied the grad students.  They're getting such an exercise in endurance and perseverence!  They're filling their minds with knowledge and actively trying to better themselves!  I sort of wished I was in school again.

Then it dawned on me...I *AM* in school again.  Maybe I'm still in denial about having to read a good chunk of the Summa in 16 weeks.  But as I drove home through downtown Indianapolis (knowing my way around well enough already to not need Siri), I felt grateful for the crazy challenge of Thomas Aquinas.  Because like those grad students I met, I'm back in that same place of honing my own endurance and perseverence - knowing that these difficult times make me stronger for whatever lies ahead.