22 Minutes

This is probably the only place on earth when I wish every morning was Monday.  That would mean we had our entire vacation week ahead of us.  On Monday morning, I was elated that my entire beach experience was still before me.  On Tuesday morning, I skipped my morning walk and at 8:00 a.m., went straight down to the beach, coffee cup in hand.  Jack soon joined me and we lolled around on the beach until after 1 when we finally needed a lunchtime refresher.  We read poolside then until 3:30 when we decided it was time to shower and locate some dinner.  

That's what I love about vacation.  The ability to be totally spontaenous.  I don't get that luxury too often in my 'real' life.

Contrary to our normal OCD planning, we just started walking the beach uncertain of what would happen.  We walked over four miles and found ourselves standing in front of one of the few commercialized restaurants on the island.  We walked right by.  Thinking we were just going to have ice cream for dinner, we stumbled across a teeny little restaurant we had never noticed before: "Sign of the Mermaid."  I quickly checked out the menu, started salivating, and ushered Jack inside.  We sat at one of the restaurant's eight tables, ooohing and aaahing our way through several appetizers of sashimi grade seared tuna, huge sea scallops, steaming grouper enveloped in puff pastry (with a creamy crab sauce), and lump crab cakes.  It was probably a good thing that we had a two-mile walk back home so we could burn off .03% of the total calories injested.

****************

This morning, I awoke before sunrise and yet again wishing it was Monday morning (!), I grabbed my sunglasses and hit the beach.  I actually sat still on the sand for 22 minutes (yes, I timed myself) and just tried to be - while the sun came up behind me.  I focused on my breathing and when I was tempted to start worrying about something (work!  my dad!  the melting of the polar ice caps!), I gently pulled my attention back to the lapping waves on the empty beach.  It was a short time to truly still myself but for me, constituted a fabulous achievement.

It's only when I walk the beach do I discover hidden schizo tendencies in my personality.  After my 22 minutes was up, I couldn't take it anymore and started walking the beach.  The funniest thoughts go through my head when I'm beach-walking....

"How come there aren't more people out?  C'mon, guys, you can sleep when you're dead!"

"Hey, this is my stretch of empty beach.  Quit ruining my view."

"The sand is so calming and wonderful!  Why is everyone wearing shoes?"

"Ouch! [small explicative after she steps on sharp shell], why didn't I grab my running shoes?"

"I'm going to relax, breathe, and focus my brain."

"Wow, that shell looks like a nose!  Or maybe a dinosaur [turns head sideways to check]"

"Even thought we're on vacay, I'm going to eat healthy today and make better food choices."

"Is that bacon I smell?"

It goes on and on.  I'm only glad I'm not narrating these types of mental exclamations because I'd surely end up on some nutty reality TV show with ex-con's and people who dress up their animals to look like people.  And in the end, I guess it doesn't matter because this morning, despite my chattering walk, I sat still and breathed for 22 minutes.  

  

Enough's Enough

Thanks to the marvels of in-flight wifi, I'm gazing out at a patchy cloud sky somewhere over Tennessee (or maybe northern Georgia?), sipping a Bloody Mary and writing. I'll be on the beach in less than 2 hours.

I decided that enough was enough. The beach called us and we listened.

About four weeks ago, the COO of St. Gonzo's announced his upcoming departure. With two senior administrators gone, I figured it was now or never for a MUCH-needed break. I don't sleep past 3:30 a.m. anymore. I work so much my eyeballs blur and the bags under my eyes resemble soybeans. I'm grateful for the chance to inspire great change in healthcare but I'm getting a little tired of the cold sweats that spontaneous appear when I'm more than 21" from my phone.

One of our very best friends, Mr. Vera (husband of Vera) had a massive heart attack. Then he walked around for about five weeks and even visited Jack and I in Indy. He had 100% blockage in his right coronary artery and we're not sure how he's still with us today. After a harrowing visit to the cath lab, they cleared the blockage and he is at home recovering.

Yet, he keeps sharing his story with me, forcing it to sink in. You see, the reason we're such good friends with Vera and Mr. Vera is because they are the opposite to Jack and me. Vera and Jack are the chefs who love experimenting with homemade herb rubs on fabulous steaks. While they're dinkin' around the kitchen, Mr. Vera and I talk shop. He's a hospital administrator and at one point, we had about the same position at our respective hospitals.

That's why I'm suddenly scared. And very glad I'm on my way to the beach without the proverbial access to work email. I can easily, far too easily, see myself in his shoes and no one's going to take care of me and my awful work/life balance but me.

I've suddenly become good friends with my chief radiologist at work. We have a sisterly vibe and she's one of the few people in my life who's willing to call me out. SHE even pulled me aside and told me to cool it. Over dinner one night last week, she shared some tidbits from her own life, about her experience with crumbling relationships because people are just too busy. It's during those times that I feel really grateful for Jack. He's my Type B, relaxed Joe who forces me to slow down (except when he steals my iPad and I chase him around our new house!). Point being: Jack has been telling me for years to "chill the heck out."

Healthcare is only getting more difficult as we have to do so much more with fewer staff and resources. I hate Obamacare (just sayin' it outright: it MAY help the overall structure of the healthcare landscape - but it will take at least 10-12 years to do so. We're already seeing adverse selection in the insurance exchanges, huge shortages of primary care physicians, and retail price wars for hospital outpatient services. All this does is result in hospitals receiving far less in reimbursement for services, increased self-pay/bad debt/charity care, and overall declining payor mix situations. IF hospitals survive the next 10 years, healthcare will look far different. I will either be some c-suite exec at the height of my career or combing the beach with a metal detector so that I can piece together enough change to buy a Corona on the beach by my tent. Either way, I would like to be alive at that point).

Hence my Bloody Mary and suitcase full of sunscreen and gossip rags. I need a few days where the biggest decision of the day is "Beach or pool?" Or "should we go eat off-the-boat fish for lunch or for dinner?"

I don't want to end up in the cath lab before I'm 40. I know I won't be saying "MAN, I wish I worked MORE hours" on my deathbed. I want to enjoy the fruits of my hard work while I'm still young and stupid enough to bodyboard (or paddleboard!) in the surf.

I'm going to try this thing all the kids are talking about: Chilling the Heck Out.

And with that, I can see the Gulf from my window.

Vanna and Stuffing Buns

Why do I only think of blogging when I have a pile of work sitting beside me on the couch or in the den? I was freakishly productive today and my to-do list only got longer. Man, I LOVE those days. Just keep swimming, dangit!

I'm irked by a couple things lately...First, this election. I'm not going to cast my vote here publicly, but both sides need to pull their heads out of their rears and follow the example George Washington set back in the day. We need a humble, unassuming, unegotistical (is that a word?) president. One who helps people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and practices isolationism. We have enough problems in our ol' U. S. of A to be dabbling in others' affairs. I believe in Keynesian economics. And I believe in vanilla-frosted cupcakes.

I'm glad the battle will be over tomorrow. Peace sweet peace.

The second thing irking me is the incessant onslaught of Christmas ads already. When did the "holiday season" start at midnight on November 1? I actually saw a few Christmas ads (*cough* *cough* TARGET, K-MART) before Halloween. Why is this happening? Don't the twinkling lights and magic of Christmas seem most appropriate, um, around Christmastime? While I am nearly finished Christmas shopping (hold your applause; I have not even bought, let alone started the 179 Christmas cards I have to write), I do not appreciate Christmas abuse. Let us have some advent and some O Come, O Come Emmanuel before the proverbial Christmas cookie hits the fan.

Okay, departing the soap box now.

In other news, I saw Nurse Starbucks for the first time in years this past weekend. We met at a gourmet burger bar halfway between her outlet mall and my house. Jack's "burger" was the best; it was Thanksgiving dinner in a burger. The buns were made of pressed stuffing. This low-carb gal couldn't help but sneak multiple bites of the Thanksgiving burger...and the chocolate beer stout cake that followed! It's very welcome to meet friends with whom you only text or email. You forget they have a voice and when they call you on your cell, you're like, "Why do you sort of sound like Vanna White?!"

Just kidding, RN Starbucks!

Saturday was more of the same with Jack's clients from work. We took a trip to a nearby winery and were blessed with a waiter who loved Notre Dame football more than we did. The three OT game proved very trying for our appetizers and he constantly ran back and forth to update us on the score. It was faster than the guys' cell phones, as they bent down in prayer nods, studiously updating the scores. That waiter got a great tip, especially with the "celebratory" bottle of vino he gifted the table. Thank goodness those Irish keep pullin' it out!

So here's to the ending election, premature Christmas ads, good wine, and great friends. Great friends (and who are we kidding- great wine) get us through the crud life throws our way.

Now. I have to get back to my lists. I literally made a list of my lists. But I'm grateful for every opportunity and feeling blessed that I'm too busy and life seems taxing. It's a Rock Tumbler, making me into something shiny and (hopefully!) pretty. We're all in this together.

My favorite quote as of late:

"It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit."

— Harry Truman

Moving

I knew yesterday was going to be a light meeting day. I was thrilled to have time to whittle my to-do list down from three pages to, hopefully, one. I have to-do lists for my to-do lists and something has to change. Even two of my managers came by to express their sympathy for my stress. That's not cool. My stress is not their problem and I need to do a better job of not appearing stressed out at work.

Does anyone have any valium I could borrow?!

So yesterday started out light. I sat down in my office a little before 8:00 and at 8:13, two gentlemen from maintenance came by and asked when I'd be ready to move.

I set my coffee down and allowed my bleary-eyed haze to clear. Moving?

Moving?

I knew I was changing offices, but I sure-as-Hades didn't know it was today!

It was just time- I have two very nice offices and spend time 50/50 in them. I carry my entire house on my back between campuses and it is impossible to stay organized with two "home bases." Plus, I know the director of Facilities well and he promised me a window if I consolidated down to one office.

Score!

So I threw my stuff in boxes, filled up a dumpster, shredded enough paper to coat Manhattan, and moved.

Old Office A:

Old Office B:

New Office C, as seen from my desk, in the height of the insanity:

New Office C, as I fought the temptation to cry and hide under my desk until the paperwork rotted away:

New Office C, after a five-hour teleconference (hey, I was careful to pipe up every half hour or so!):

So I'm home now, at one campus, with all my junk in one place. The best part? The first time I've had real estate with a window. That afternoon sunshine is wonderfully refreshing and I think I can finally replace my fake ficas tree with a real tree!

Necessary Evils

The only two things that make a full day at the office on a Saturday bearable:

Coke and an iPod!

Potatoes!

[Insert big, long sigh here.]

Day One of MPH training is complete!

"MPH" stands for "Mister Potato Head." And it was the simulation used to help a group of hospital directors figure out how to use Lean methodologies in their departments. We know we're not cranking out patients here, but many of the methodologies used in factories actually relate to the hospital setting.

It is pretty hilarious to see all these uptight and proper people, flailing through a Mr. Potato Head assembly line (picture hands, glasses, and noses flying everywhere), to replicate a manufacturing environment. We created the first assembly line to be purposefully slow and bottleneck-y and we let the group create process changes that would streamline the assembly process.

Except that when we allowed them to make changes to the process, we also increased the productivity demands and made them output more product with less time. That's *exactly* what happens in the hospital!

Soon, even the stoic, old-school directors were laughing and joining in the fun. The day consisted of other activities and break-out sessions, but MPH was the conversation point of the day. I don't think anyone will look at a MPH the same way, ever again.

I know I won't...especially after setting up the simulation and seeing 30+ naked, blank potato heads in a Rubbermaid box! Aaugh! Aaaaugh! My eyes!

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem

I'm throwing the pager away, powering down the laptop, burying my blackberry, and hanging up my suits for four whole days.

And I'll be in a bathing suit for at least three of those four days...and at a Sox game on the fourth day. Wahoo!

Happy Fourth of July!

Reflection: One Year

This is the one year anniversary of Just Keep Swimming.

When I started this blog on March 22, 2009, I knew I was in for a year's worth of administrative adventure. I knew it would be a leap into the unknown, but I had NO IDEA it would have been this wonderful, this eye-opening, and this stressful!

It's been a time of immense growth and I feel like a completely different person (professionally) than this time last year. Looking back, I know it's been a tremendous growth experience and that I'll never be the same. It's all been worth it.

I think!

Just kidding. Of course it's been worth it. While my job future is still uncertain (lots going on behind the scenes), I am still very grateful for everything. I have several "raving fans" at work who are supporting me and are lobbying to keep me at St. Fozzie's. There's even a petition going around the campuses. This is flattering, but a bit embarrassing! Regardless, I have many people behind me, who want to see me succeed and who have helped me along this crazy journey.

I had no idea I'd be sitting here, with the opportunities and challenges I've had over the past year. I keep thinking back to how far I've come and I'm a bit amazed. I used to feel like I was wearing my mom's shoes or suits to work. When I get dressed, I actually prefer suits now. My methaphorical shoes fit. When I catch sight of myself in a mirror, I'm more attuned to my recent wrinkle development (sigh) and whether or not my eyeliner is smudged. When I first started, I was always a bit shocked to see myself in a mirror. There was a big disconnect between the polished woman in the suit and heels and the insecure newbie wannabe-administrator I was inside.

I'm still the newbie administrator. The insecurity is slowly dissipating. I'm not only increasing what I know, but I'm also learning what I don't know. Learning is scary when you realize just how much you don't know.

So while I'm only one year into this blog and 10 months into my newbie administratorship, I feel a lot more "at home" with myself than I ever have. My marriage feels stronger than it ever has before. I know who my true friends are. I know who in my family truly supports me. And I know that, despite the stress, pain, and frustration, I will just keep swimming.

Vacation Plans

This is my 299th post. Wow. Have I really had that much to say?

We bit the bullet and booked vacation for May. Both Jack and I really need that carrot to entice us forward through the next two months. It's nothing fancy; we're just going to Florida (yes, again) for 8 days and staying at the Parc Soleil. We're hoping to reconnect with each other, rest our weary bodies and minds in the Florida sunshine, visit some friends, drink a few margaritas, and scream like kids in the theme parks. We were going to take a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean, but apart from the cost, it's irresponsible to leave the country when I'll be in a new job and should be reachable.

Jack wants to visit the Harry Potter theme park at Universal. I'd like to visit Universal Studios because we've never done that. We've done most of Disney and visited Universal CityWalk. It's time to give Universal some attention during this trip.

Only 60 more days!

Limits of Sanity

You know it's going to be a sucky day when your alarm clock shockingly blares you into Monday morning with the end of a Kings of Leon song and the news announcer tells you to get out of bed. Just as my heart-rate fell from "holy-freaking-crap-that-music's-loud" to "I-could-snooze-right-about-now," the weather man came on and said (verbatim):

"This is not the day to be a snooze-button abuser. Get your butt out of bed and get on the highway. This morning's commute will surely test the limits of your sanity."

Instead of rolling over for a six-minute snooze, I rolled my eyes, dug deep into my energy bank, and hit the shower. Snow? No problem! It's the end of February, this cold, white crap can't last much longer!

However, clearing 6 inches of 100 pound-per-square-inch snow off my car really tested the limits of my sanity. I cannot believe I actually (albeit briefly) entertained the idea of an associate administrator position in Fairbanks, Alaska! If I ever do something that drastic, just tie me to a chaise lounger on the beach because I've obviously gone past the limits of my sanity!

Bodyboarding in Antigua

I should quit my hospital administrator gig and become a travel agent.

Last weekend, during our wine tasting and miscellaneous relaxation time, Jack and I gazed out the window, stared into the Arctic Wasteland that is currently Chicagoland, and came to the same conclusion: it's time to start planning our next vacation.

So here's the trick, how does one plan a vacation when one has no idea of the timeline of her next job assignment? Do I plan a trip and tell the powers-that-be that, forget work, I'm going to the Caribbean? What if I have to relocate across the state? What if we have one week in which to move and I'm busy beaching bumming it? Do I fore go packing and moving time to visit my favorite white sand beach in Antigua? Okay, I've never been to Antigua, but the cruise ship's itinerary I'm researching stops there for a whole ten hours.

Cruises are great. They're quickly becoming our favorite way to travel. You only unpack once and while your stateroom is the size of a walk-in closet, you're not there very often. You wake up, exercise, get a healthy breakfast in the cafe (that has wall-to-wall windows overlooking the gorgeous azure sea), get dressed, and walk off the ship to that day's port of call. After 8-10 hours of adventure and sun, you re-board the ship, get showers, don a cute sundress, and go to formal dinner in the dining room. After dinner, you see a Broadway show, a comedian, or even take dance lessons. It's wonderful. Then the waves rock you to sleep and you sleep like a baby.

The alternative is to fly down to Florida or the Caribbean, rent a condo, and veg out for a week on the beach. It's a lot less exciting, but it *is* relaxing. Jack was bitin' at the bit to book SOMETHING, for half the fun of a tropical vacation (or any vacation, really) is the anticipation of the trip. But I held him back and promised that AS SOON as we find out what's going on with my job, we'll book a trip. Hopefully, it's that cruise to Antigua!

Vacation Tidbits

As I unpack, do laundry, and scramble back to work, I leave you with a few quirky stories from our week at the beach:

On the first night, I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. I didn't have my contacts in or glasses on, so I groped my way through the dark bedroom to the bathroom. I saw something scuttle by the shower door. Through my blurry/sleepy vision, it looked like a two-inch long...bug...or something. OH MY GOODNESS, what if it's a roach and this place is infested? It was a very nice condo, but you never know! Oh NO, we have roaches! Big, prehistoric ROACHES!

I scrambled back to bed and shook Jack awake to go in there and investigate. He let out a man-shriek and yelled back that the "roach" was just a "lizard." PERFECT! I love sleeping with salamanders! It was a baby, just a tiny lizard, but STILL. I don't like creatures that aren't invited.

On the third night, still festering about my growing list of responsibilities at the hospital, I found myself unable to sleep. Earlier that day, I received a request from the Muppet system CMO, asking me to spearhead a systemwide grant proposal. Yikes! The system CMO kind of scares me and totally intimidates me, so I actually did lose sleep over it. Growing weary of my tossing and turning, Jack finally asked me what the problem was. I told him that I couldn't stop my brain from spinning. He told me to count sheep. I told him I was too busy counting meetings. Clever, eh?

Every morning after my beach walk, I sipped my morning coffee and nibbled my bagel on the huge porch that overlooks the bay (and sunrise). Every morning, the same sneaky gull (?) visited me and inched increasingly close to my bagel. I named him Lender and repeatedly chased him off with a pool noodle:

On the last full day, SkyBlue and I went parasailing. Oh, did I mention that my folks went on vacation with us? We had a great time, made phenomenal memories, and best of all, no one killed each other. One of Mom's greatest fears and wildest dreams was to go parasailing. Except that the weather didn't cooperate, delivering high winds most of the trip (thank you, Ida!). On Friday, the winds subsided enough to allow us a safe flight. After the bone-jarring boat ride out to the Gulf, the skipper informed us it was far too dangerous to fly over the Gulf. So we turned around and went out to the bay side of the island. Another 20 minutes of jaw-clenching, stomach-churning, gut-wrenching boating, we arrived at our destination. In 20 mph winds (and 4-6 foot seas), we grabbed onto the bar and were hoisted up by the sails. We soared higher...and higher...and higher until I really thought we were going to snap off the rope and sail on to The Great Beyond (it's next to Bed, Bath, and Beyond).

The Skipper left us up there, teetering on the bring of No Return, for a good 25 minutes. While this was a phenomenal bang for my buck, I couldn't help but imagine what I would look like if I barfed from that high up in the air. The wind would dramatically swing the parachute to the right, dropping as we swung to the left, a wonderful recipe not only for adventure, but for an upset stomach! Graciously, he coiled in the rope and we landed without incident. Wrapping myself in a towel, he told us that we went nearly 800 feet up. 800 FEET! WAS HE CRAZY! No wonder this was our view:

More vacation stories to come when I finish digging myself out of the inevitable, inescapable pit of work to be completed for work tomorrow.

SASTS!

Yes, we're still going. I'm not scared by Hurricane Ida Ho Potato.

Lunchtime Procrastination

Would anyone blame me if I just drove to O'Hare and hopped on the next flight to Tahiti? Or Fiji? Or Florida? Or let's be honest, a cabin deep in the woods that doesn't have cell phone reception? Actually, I don't think you get cell phone reception in Fiji. The water under your hut would surely disrupt the signal. If the water didn't, the margaritas surely would.

I'm on a quick lunch break (gulping down forkfuls of gooey mac & cheese), scrambling to finish my second proposal. They're rough drafts, but they're decent rough drafts. I'll make my deadline; I'll force myself to make the deadline...but I'm probably taking days off my lifespan today.

I'll get them back when I take off for Fiji!

Budget Bootcamp

I'm having such a good time in Budget Bootcamp! After completing the administrative budget, I've been attending other departments' budget approval meetings to "fill in the gaps." I 'get' the main premise behind the balance statements, but I'm going to ask my almost-CPA pal, Kassie, for some help in understanding EBITDA. I know it's "earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization," but I don't know what it means. I know you want a positive EBITDA, because that means you have a positive cash flow…but when is the positive cash flow adequate? When is it lacking? How do you decide what the optimal ratio is? And when are you going to tell me to just be quiet and move onto something that won't lull you into an immediate comatose state?!

[Kassie, will you explain this to me, off-line?]

Anyway, I'm sitting in on all these budget meetings and I really feel my knowledge base growing. I'm trying to anticipate the questions and not let my mind wonder too much. It's unfortunate that the finance conference room overlooks the highway, so there's always a lot to watch.

ADD is never a problem. No thanks, I'm happy with Sprint as my long-distance provider!

No Time For You! Two Weeks!

I knew it would be a few days until I could post something (although I racked my brains trying to come up with fodder that would actually be interesting to you!).

On Tuesday, I participated in seven straight hours of meetings. One of the biggies was the Systemwide Muppet Practice Administrators' meeting. This meeting was so far over my head; I just looked over my shoulder and waved. As the CEO of BeakerGroup invited me to the meeting, I blasted exactly 459 questions his way. After our discussion, I started to better understand the differences between hospital life and practice administration. I won't bore you with those details, though!

So then yesterday, I went to BeakerGroup and learned all about actual life in the practice. I was able to shadow the CEO and even some of the nursing administrators as they put out numerous fires. Our daily census at St. Fozzie's hovers around 300 inpatients per day and BeakerGroup sees that many patients in two hours. It's a madhouse over there, but it was a fun madhouse. A funhouse! The Beaker CEO was fabulous and he invited me back for a week, in case I decide to specialize in practice administration. Ummm....yeah...thanks.

Today was the best day yet, though. I say this with a big sigh of relief because this has been one crazy week for me. I've been manic lately, as I'm either ON and fabulously kicking complete a$$, or I'm depressed because my husband is 100 miles away, I'm eating a Lean Cuisine for the 38th straight weeknight, and I don't have cable to distract myself from my misery. Jack's my support system and I have to give him major credit for taking my calls at the weirdest hours. So I have this other duality going on, one I've been battling hard all week. I was able to escape from that today.

I gave my first *big* presentation today, to the Operations team. These are the senior-most un-senior leaders in the organization. Does that make sense? They're the layer under the CEO/COO/CFO, etc. My presentation went well and I had a bit of an out-of-body experience as it just...flowed. I didn't have to work at it one bit (which is how I know there's a God and I was channeling some major grace!). I got great feedback and went on my way, to the next 3 hour medical exec meeting. After THAT, I lead two meetings, back-to-back. I'm working on my managerial skills and defining the type of manager I want to become. Luckily, I have already caught on to what *really* motivates people...I always come to meetings with candy or cookies.

My meetings are pretty well attended. However, I'm becoming known as the Time Nazi. I absolutely insist that we begin and end on time and even put in a request to Maintenance to standardize the clocks around St. Fozzie's. People laugh at me, but I just threaten to don a chef's hat and spout Seinfeldisms!

Just Keep Golfing

First, THANK YOU to all of you who voted in the last few hours that I should Just Keep Swimming. I appreciate this feedback. Blogging is weirdly therapeutic to me and I hoped it was just a smidge entertaining, too!

I'm happy to report that things are going pretty well in Chicagoland. I still feel completely overwhelmed by my job, but the overwhelmed feelings are becoming normal now. And something else I've noticed in the executive world, is that they never tell you that you're doing a good job. You hear about it when you make mistakes, but no news is generally considered good news. This is an adjustment for me, because I like knowing I'm on the right track.

I get a small break (of sorts) tomorrow, as it's the first of three all-day golf outings for the hospital. I admitted my lack of golfing ability and was immediately assigned to the "pep squad." I'll get to ride around in a golf cart, passing out water and St. Fozzie's paraphernalia to 188 doctors, administrators, and prominent community members. While I would normally brush off such an assignment, I'm grateful they're not making me golf. There aren't enough golf balls in the world and besides, I know a softball swing, not a golf swing. I was told, however, that I have to actually golf at the next two events. Drat!

And even though I'm not golfing tomorrow, I *still* worried about my outfit. All I have here in Chicagoland is suits, fancy shirts, and one pair of khaki's that I wear to church every Sunday. Oh, and a pair of way-short shorts, but they won't work. Sister Lourdes will be in attendance and I might be sent to Hell.

So after the softball game tonight (yes, it was 98 degrees in the shade, speaking of Hell), I scurried over to my neighborhood Kohl's for something decent to wear on the golf course. I found a pair of knee-length shorts and a cute nautical shirt that will totally work. But as I was standing in line, a woman tapped me on the shoulder. She says, "Excuse me, do you work at St. Fozzie's?" I nodded, acutely aware of my disheveled hair, running make-up, and probably not-so-wonderful aroma as my shirt was still damp from sweat. Ignoring this, she answered, "I'm Katie and I work in Radiology!" Great! Her next comment? "You look so different in plain clothes!"

Um, yeah. Usually when you see me, I'm in a suit and y'know, like, SHOWERED?! Oh well, at least that will be a fun rumor to hear when it finally gets back to me in a few days.

Putting Out Fires

Well, I had another weird experience today. I learned how to put out fires. Like, literally.

We had fire extinguisher practice in the parking lot today. It cracked me up, because they actually *set* fires for us to extinguish. It's one of those skills you really hope you never need, but just in case, I have practiced the left-to-right "swoop" motion.

Speaking of fires, I had my first monumental stress today as well. I had about 7 hours of meetings (all of which I attended). At my second meeting, my boss (the CEO) asked that I write a presentation for him, for a series of meetings on Wednesday. I was fine with it until I sat down to write. I realized I didn't have time to sit down and write. I had to rush off to another meeting (one about Risk Management and HIPAA). I pretended I was enthralled by the new regulations, diligently taking notes. In reality, I was brainstorming presentation ideas and formulating an outline. This worked until I seemed *too* enthusiastic. The meeting organizer asked if she could have a copy of the "minutes" I was recording! Whoops. I made a graceful escape from that meeting 30 seconds before it formally adjourned.

Speaking of esophageal fires, I had my first chest pain today. It didn't worry me nearly as much as it did when I worked at corporate. I work in a freaking hospital; if I code, I literally work right below the Surgery department.

The chest pain died down as I dug my heels into the presentation. Well, I actually have two presentations to write this week, but this one was waaaay more important and it took precedence. I went back to my office and it was nice and quiet back in administration. My secretary has this amazing jazz playing all the time; it's that classy New York jazz (not the smooth jazz crap). I listened to that for a while but when that started to relax me too much, I played my "fast lane" song mix that I created for my commute. It contains a bunch of those dance/europop songs and it motivates me to drive aggressively enough to not die in the fast lanes. Coincidentally, it also makes me think and write quickly! When I finally hit "send" on that presentation, I felt a new surge of adrenaline. I finished my first real executive presentation.

It feels like I just turned in a massive paper for school! And I'm braindead from the endeavor. Should I admit that I've been regularly watching "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" as a stress reducer?!

Taking a Deep Breath

This is my favorite photo from our recent Caribbean travels. I leave you with this while I attend to some hospital business. I promise, I had lots of time to brainstorm lots of cool ideas what will be coming soon, to a blog near you. Soundtrack available on request! Well, it's just steel drums with waves crashing in the background!

Rollerblading > Paper Writing

Okay, so the rollerblading excursion I discussed this morning didn't go so well. I was caught in a quite-random pop-up thunderstorm. Have you ever gone rollerblading through lightning, thunder, gale winds, and horizontal, driving rain? Yeah, me neither.

So I dried off and came home to finish the last two papers of this degree. I finished the 30-pager last week (which ended up being more like 40 pages). However, these two papers proved muoy challenging because this professor is fond of "upper" word limits. He'll ask us to describe the factors of this economic recession or the state of ethics in America (or some other ambiguous topic) in 1000 words or less. That's tough! You have to get the biggest effect from each word and I cannot tell you how many times I used the "word count" function of Word! However, they're finished and to celebrate, Jack and I are visiting my folks, SkyBlue and Lou tonight. I think margaritas are in store...for me, for having finished, and for them, for putting up with me and my stress!

P.S. I would like to personally thank Yoshi and Nurse Starbucks, for their motivation and encouragement today. Yoshi threatened me via text and Nurse Starbucks emailed me, telling me to "write like a champion" today. THAT was awesome and I made a mental note of that tagline! Thanks!

P.P.S. Aren't the rollerblading nuns COOL? I saw this and cracked up!