Quote Journal: Passion

"A life without passion is not living, it's merely existing." -Leo Buscaglia

I'm not sure who Leo Buscaglia is, but I love this quote. I've been reading a lot about passion lately, through some of my managerial literature (I amended my New Year's resolution about taking baths to include that IN the tub, I'd get through the stack of managerial literature I've been asked to read).

Passion is an interesting trait I'm trying to ascertain whether I have. Passion is a heartfelt, deep excitement for life. Yes, it pertains to work and passionate people care deeply about their work. But they also care deeply about everything and everyone in their lives. In short, they love to learn and grow and like to see everyone else learning and growing, too.

I'd like to think I'm on fire for life like this. Truth be told, I many co-workers and managers have called me passionate. Personally, I think my "passion" rears its head when I've had enough coffee. My passion is directly proportional to the amount of caffeine I've ingested.

Seriously, though, I'm not sure that passion is something one can strengthen. However, I can increase my awareness of these moments and keep my energy level as positive as possible. No one likes a personality who enters a room and sucks the energy out with their nay-saying and pessimistic attitudes. With my impending career changes in the coming months, these are the intangible lessons on which I'm working...from my bubble baths!

What Was He Thinking?!

I survived my first Muppet corporate executives' meeting on Monday. Held at St. Rowlf's, it was like Corporate operations, but on steroids. All the nurse administrators, HR people, and Finance people were there, too.

Jim Henson kept saying the group was the "100 Top Execs" in the system. *I* know I'm not a top exec. As much as I aspire to be, I am not there yet. I respect the fact (and reality) that becoming a top exec takes years and years. It takes a long time to earn that kind of respect. So I didn't count myself in as one of the "100 Top Execs" at first. The more I sat there, though, I tried to own just a smidgen of it. I tried on that title "Executive" again, trying to feel comfortable in that skin. It's a big change, compared to where I've come from in the system. I worked my way up, obtaining a total of 4 promotions in 6.5 years. Maybe I will be a top exec some day. So yes, when he calls us the "Top Execs," I'm going to own a tiny piece of that, even if it's just for the future.

All went well. I had a social lunch, talking to three of my favorite senior VP's at Corporate, about process improvement and the eventual publication of our work. Okay, it's time to name them. I'll call them Newton, Fleming, and Edison. Fleming suggested I submit a piece to the New England Journal of Medicine. After snickering in his face, I realized he was serious. I then talked to Newton, the process improvement guru about submitting to another conference this year. We have a formidable amount of work we can tout to other systems. For the record, Edison is the one with whom I've been working on the huge, system-wide, patient safety grant. I also ran into Davidoff, my former VP when I worked at corporate. Despite the fact that Davidoff always looks uber-surprised to see me at the high-brow corporate meetings, lunch went well.

Settling back in for the afternoon session, I gave my attention to the next VP, Davidoff, who took the stage. Davidoff talked about how great the team is back at Corporate and how dependable they are (which is true). He then started talking about *me* and how great I am and how smart I am and SURPRISE! She's here with us, a part of our team now! He talked about my education and how I've risen through the ranks so quickly. He asked the execs to applaud me and my hard work these last few years.

My face was on fire. I'm surprised the turtleneck I was wearing under my suit didn't catch fire. I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously combust. How could he do this to me? While I always appreciate the applause, it felt humiliating for him to single me out…especially when he brought attention to the fact that I'm new, I'm young, and I'm still climbing the ladder. Jack thinks he did it to bolster his own self and publicize his department at corporate. I felt like I was two inches tall, and suddenly, didn't feel quite so welcome at the meeting. I stopped owning that "Top 100 Execs" title I so graciously adopted two hours earlier.

The next speakers, Newton, Edison, and Fleming talked about some of their system-wide plans and endeavors. One of these, of course, is the huge system-wide patient safety grant. Edison singled me out in front of the group, but it was in an affirming way, to genuinely thank me for the questions I raised during the process. THAT kind of recognition is good. I felt better about Davidoff's weird welcome and spotlight on me.

After the meeting, I chit-chatted with a few other people and drove back to St. Fozzie's for an hour layover. I had a physician dinner meeting from 5:30-9:30 (yes, 4 hours), and I needed to clear my head. I'm not sure what all of this meant, but I'm trying to frame it in a positive light. And maybe, Davidoff really stuck his neck out for me and since I am perceived to be doing well, he wanted credit. Who knows. All I know is that it's only Monday and I'm beat! Better schedule a bath in the ol' Blackberry!

Good Eats--Italian Style

Because of the feet of snow predicted in the lake effect snow belt between SB and Chicago, Jack opted to come and visit me in my Chicagoland home. While we had a couple parties to attend in SB, I was glad to stay in Chi. For one, I keep finding restaurants I want to visit with Jack.

So on Friday night, we met at a cozy Italian pub on the south side of Chicago, Popolano's. They're known for thin crust pizza, so we gave it a whirl. It was excellent; sweet sauce and flaky pastry dough made for a great pizza. Italian sausage is never sub-par in the south side, either! We've had a couple deep dish pies along our "pizza journey" in Chicagoland, but you have to be in the mood for deep dish.

On Saturday, after awakening naturally and to glorious sunlight streaming in the windows, we lingered over coffee and relaxed. It felt a bit like vacation (and I may start considering my Chi house a vacation home and re-arranging it as such). Anyway, the day was ours so after hitting the gym, we visited Cooper's Hawk Winery in Orland Park. I visited Cooper's Hawk for two physician lunches in previous weeks, but wanted to go back with Jack and actually try some of the wine. This place was *so* popular; we went at 3:30 p.m., the bar was packed, the restaurant had an hour wait, and we had to wait in line to do some wine tasting! So much for going early!

We tried nine different wines, ranging from a sparkling peach to a heavy Cabernet to a fruity blueberry wine to a wonderful riesling gewurztraminer. We bought a bottle of the Cooper's Hawk red and it'll be a good wine to age and open on a special occasion. We had so much fun and spent almost 2 hours tasting these wines.

Since the restaurant wait was still over an hour, we got in the car and drove through Tinley Park. There are a few restaurants down there I want to visit, but we didn't feel like paying $30-45 for an entree. Hopping back on the expressway, we ended up at Gino's. It's a great place to sit and linger; we knew we wouldn't be rushed out. Instead of pizza, we ordered Italian beef and sausage. Notice a pattern here?

We eat an awful lot of Italian out here in southern Chicago! Mob roots usually equate to phenomenal food.

Most people have a bit of Italian in there, including Nurse Jackie, the CNO at Fozzie's. Everyone knows I'm heavily involved in process improvement projects around the hospital. Nurse Jackie, somewhat familiar with process improvement mapping, is always commenting that we need a "spaghetti diagram." Likely suggestion from an Italian woman, of course she wants spaghetti anything!

Epiphany Towels

Yesterday, I woke up early and for once, easily bounded out of bed. I be-bopped around my house, getting ready and styling myself for the day. I picked out my very favorite stylish black pumps (I start my suit selection according to what shoes I'm "feeling" that day) and decided it was going to be a great day. Gathering up my bags to leave, I finally glanced outside…to see the six inches of sloppy white snow that fell throughout the night.

So much for those clean, dry roads!

After hurriedly clearing my car off (while totally cursing Midwestern weather) in old, cruddy sneakers, I hit the road. I figured the interstate would be clearer, so I headed that way. As I made use of the infamous Chicago traffic reports, I heard that Inbound Eisenhower was 2.5 hours, the Tri-State was 2 hours, and the Borman Expressway was a parking lot, I quickly decided to turn around and try my luck at the backstreets. After driving on *snot* for an hour and 20 minutes, I finally arrived at work. This was not before I slid through two intersections and almost got T-boned by a stupid semi driver who was TEXTING.

Anyway, the day went well. Several of my meetings were made into teleconferences, namely the four hour Press Ganey training. First there was an executive overview. Then there was a managerial overview. Then there was this session on goal setting (through which I chatted with Nurse Nancy, one of the Directors, for if we didn't know how to set goals, would we *really* be sitting in the boardroom?!). Then there was a session on facilitating. That was actually informative, as I've been through the Press Ganey brainstorming process before. Now I get to lead it. It's a great HR immersion and I'll gobble up that experience for my resume.

So as the day progressed, the weather looked scarier and scarier outside. Being the perpetual boy scout (always be prepared), I threw an extra suit in my trunk. Since I have a standing invite at the Sisters' convent (inside St. Fozzie's), I took them up on the offer. I happily worked into the evening, catching up on a lot of my homework from the other night. As 8pm drew closer and the other "Convent invitees" were meandering through the hospital trying to stave off boredom, Elvis threw an impromptu football party. He has a flat screen tv in his office and Sister, a couple of directors, and me joined him for the National Championship game. It was a weird turn of events, but I think the five of us really bonded as we yelled our way through that poor freshman quarterback's baptism by lava!

After the game, we went to our respective guest rooms. Since I'm a girl, I got to stay inside the actual convent. Boys have to stay down the hall (it's very old-school!). I chuckled to myself when I cleaned up for bed in the personal bathroom off the guest room. They provided Wisemen towels. As in, to celebrate Epiphany. Each towel of the three-piece set depicted the Magi following a star. I felt bad wiping my black eyeliner on the Wisemen and defacing the Epiphany miracle, so I used a wad of kleenex instead. Isn't that counter-productive?

So yes, a terrifying commute, a BCS game at work, and Epiphany towels. All in one day!

Refresher

For anyone who might have joined the blog lately, here's a brief refresher of the characters and locations starring in this blog:

Muppetville: the entire hospital system.
Muppet Corporate: The Corporate Office to which St. Fozzie's belongs; head of the system.
Jim Henson: President of Muppetville.

The system hospitals:
St. Fozzie's, St. Kermit's (north and south), St. Rowlf's, St. Piggy's, St. Animal's, St. Gonzo's, BeakerGroup, St. Bunson, and St. Swedish Chef. The only two hospitals I have not visited in my system-wide travels are St. Piggy's and St. Swedish Chef.

St. Fozzie's: the hospital at which I work, since June 1, 2009.
Elvis: my direct boss, Regional CEO of the St. Fozzie's facilities.
EVOO: another sort-of boss, COO of St. Fozzie's.
Nurse Jackie: the only other woman I work with regularly, the CNO of St. Fozzie's.
Sister Lourdes: VP at St. Fozzie's.
Rocco: the Director of PR and Development at St. Fozzie's.

Other people appearing semi-regularly:
Dorrie: duh, that's me.
Jack: my husband.
SkyBlue and Lou: my mom and dad.
Mom D: Mom D.
Brady and Zibby: brothers.
The Edge: dearest friend from, like, the womb.
Nurse Starbucks: dearest friend from highschool.
Therese: dearest friend from neighborhood and church.
Lula: dearest friend with similar Super Mario, wine, and Starbucks fetishes.
Yoshi: dearest friend and cousin.
Bewley: dearest friend from Ireland.

Cutting Administrative Teeth

Do you ever have one of those days where you simply swear you've lived two or three days in the span of one? I've had three of those days in a row. So for me, it's, like, Saturday.

I'm sitting on my couch, working on my laptop in pj's. I needed a reflective intermission from my week, before I dive into several work projects I must complete. EVOO charged me with the creation of yet another ER reporting mechanism I need to figure out, I have two pieces of the system-wide grant to write (and three more to edit), a very sensitive email to scribe to our nearest and dearest neurologist about a medical directorship in the stroke program (it follows the very sensitive formal letter I wrote a couple weeks ago), a massive Six Sigma diagram that encompasses the entire Surgery Throughput process (we need a billboard to properly document this), a final draft of March's article to the healthcare engineering journal, and I have to re-write a policy for Sister Lourdes. The policy is regarding the 'morning-after pill' and its use in Catholic hospitals for rape victims. Apparently, Catholic Health America has a stance on this that is...decidedly un-Catholic. So we debated it yesterday and I need to re-write this thing so it best meets both the Sisters' desires and CHA's new guidelines.

And that's all tonight. So why am I blogging? Because I need to record some of my life these last few days. This will be a long post, but consider it a make-up for all the humorous notes I posted during Christmas!

I knew this week would hit hard. Even last week, my calendar was booked solid this week; several days were booked to 15-16 hours. I am cutting some serious administrative teeth! Monday started innocently enough, with me doing a bit of planning and organizing for the week. I compiled agendas, touched base with EVOO and Elvis, and buzzed the ER to check on the Aunt Martha's referral process. I created a checklist of leases and contracts needed for physician recruitment. I went over stroke order sets with a couple neurologists. I prepped for the four-hour Six Sigma meeting I was leading on Tues. We're walking through the process flow of Surgery, including peri-op's. It was decent...I left after about 12 hours and even got a bath in that night. Remember my New Year's resolution to relax more!? Check!

So yesterday, I arrived early to attend the physician recruitment meeting, then visited the CV service line director for help on the Chicago's academic medical center meetings this week, then ducked into a strategy meeting on patient payer mix (while sitting there, got the debrief from Sister Lourdes about the policy needing updating), drove across town, led the Six Sigma meeting (which went surprisingly well, despite the vast material through which we have to plod), hit a Joint Commission preparation meeting, then had exactly 23 minutes to sit in my office and reply to emails. A couple VP's from Muppet Corporate had asked me to draft a couple new parts of the draft and EVOO swung by to ask about the creation of the ER tracking mechanism.

Part of me wonders if they're trying to get me to admit I'm overwhelmed. Or if I know when to say "no." Or in my case, "HELL NO, are you FREAKING kidding me?" But I just grind my teeth together, force out a smile, choke out a "sure!" and escape back to my office to jot it down before I forget.

Anyway, 23 minutes later, I jumped in my car and drove downtown for a strategic planning meeting with the cardiologists. While the conversation was lively, it was draining and I felt like the kid at the dinner table who didn't quite know what was going on. I kept having to ask Nurse Jackie for clarification. By the time I finally got home, it was well after 10 and I forgot about taking a bath. I probably would have drowned!

Then this morning, I felt hungover as my alarm clock blared its sorry welcome into 5:30 a.m. I staggered into the bathroom, knowing I had to hurry if I was going to get ready and make it to St. Animal's in time for the regional Six Sigma educational course (it's an 8- hour thing that happens every two weeks). For the first time in my administrator life, I was LATE. I brewed coffee, fired up the laptop, and did two hours' worth of work before I even left. The Six Sigma class is good and it's officially mandatory to go, but they understand we're all professionals here and we'll attend when we can. So I went two hours late. It was...weirdly liberating!

After Six Sigma class at St. Animal's, I met Jack for dinner out there. We talked for a couple hours and caught up...we're not used to seeing each other during the week and it was great. As we were talking, I received an email from a patient safety conference to which I submitted back at the end of summer. They accepted my proposal and I was asked to teach at the seminar! Being considered "faculty" is a very neat idea, but I may or may not go. As thrilled as I am, St. Fozzie's may elect to send someone from the "front lines" to represent the patient safety measures we are instituting. It's awesome news, though, and I'm just happy to get our name out there, nationally! I phoned Sister Lourdes and will know more in the coming days. How neat is it that this next conference is also in Florida?

So that's been my last three days. I keep reminding myself that I signed up for this madness! Now...on to that to-do list of mine!

The Snow Belt

As I traveled from SB back to my Chicagoland last weekend, I pondered a few things. Namely, I pondered the sheer unfairness that is Indiana weather. I left SB and over a foot of snow on my front lawn. I traveled through the snow belt, clear skies and snow packed pavement devolving to white-out conditions and slippery roads in the span of one measly mile. All of the sudden, I noted several vehicles off the road and in the ditch. Then the car behind me suddenly disappeared...

…checking my rear view mirror and cutting the cruise control, yep, I could see the back half of his car sticking out of the ditch.

I resumed my 10-and-2 hand positioning and plowed onward. After a half-hour of white-knuckled driving, I approached my exit. As I edged closer, I noticed the sky growing lighter and eventually, the sun peeked out. When I arrived back at my Chicagoland pad, the sun was out, sky was blue, and birds chirping (seriously, I didn’t know any birds were left to chirp so happily). There was barely enough snow to cover the blades of grass sticking up through the frost.

That is, until the next winter storm hits!

New Year's Meme

Because I’m not risking my life on the snow-covered roads, I have the time and energy to reflect on a meme on which I was tagged by one of my blogger friends:

Outside my window … A decidedly non-snowy day. It’s definitely January and freezing cold in Chicago, but it’s not snowing.

I am thinking … that as much as I love the holiday season, I love the “ordinariness” of January, too. After New Year’s, Jack and I always put our noses to the perpetual grind stone and work our butts off from January-May.

I am thankful for … new family memories created and old family relationships strengthened on New Year’s Eve. As foreign as I am to my family, I am now assured that they love me and support me, no matter my future career path. I’m also thankful for the sudden peace that’s overtaken my being and mitigated any fear I have over the future and its utter unpredictability.

I am hoping … that I can stick to my resolutions and stop making excuses, no matter how insignificant they seem (now what are those excuses why I cannot go to the gym? My shoes are in my trunk? That’s not working any longer! Go get ‘em, you weirdo who signed up for a 100 floor stair climbing race in four short weeks!)

On my mind … I read a book about “candor” when I first started my job. One of my mentors suggested the book to me, so I could understand our top execs’ motivation for revealing certain business plans and details. I keep revisiting this idea of candor, wanting to become a candid, uncomplicated, non-pretending, honest person…As often as I can.

Noticing that … a lot of people thrive on drama or somehow relish it. It’s refreshing to find people who also mitigate drama.

A few plans for the week … to jump back into my ‘usual’ routine as all the administrators are back in the office. I have three key meetings with Chicagoan academic centers and I hope they go well. The future of our stroke program depends upon it! I also have a core four-hour Six Sigma meeting that I’m leading, an all-day training course at another Muppet hospital, and I have to get the stroke standing orders passed the internal medicine, Medical Exec, and Pharmacy committees. Good thing I made that resolution to take one relaxing bath a week…although, I may have to SCHEDULE the bath in my blackberry calendar.

From the kitchen … leftover ham and bean soup and then back my stash of Lean Cuisines, faithfully gathering ice in my Chicagoland fridge.

Around the house … Jack and I ‘de-Christmas-ed’ the house on New Year’s Day and took the opportunity to do a thorough dusting and vacuuming. It’s official, we’re now starting to pack up needless clutter and organize the basement, just in case we have to sell in spring.

One of my favorite things …not having to leave my house…staring out the wide windows and watching the fat clusters of snowflakes drift gracefully down. As the sun sets, lighting a fire in the fireplace, sipping a glass of merlot, listening to relaxing jazz, and curling up with a good book (or a good husband). Since I just lambasted lake-effect snow, my second favorite thing is to work really, really hard, push through obstacles galore, then watch the waves roll in from the beach, sipping a margarita, listening to Kenny Chesney, and curling up with a good book (or a good husband)!

Stair Master

I joined a team at St. Fozzie's, to race to the top of the AON Center in downtown, Chicago. It's a charity event to raise money for the Children's Memorial Hospital, called "Step Up for Kids." I've always wanted to do one of these huge stair climb events in a huge high rise, but this one snuck up on me. I need to be in condition to run 1700 stairs on 81 floors. Apparently, the fastest time on record is 9 minutes and the average time for a woman my age is 30 minutes.

81 floors in 30 minutes? Hmmm. I wonder if anyone will be willing to carry me home that day?

It'll be fun, though, and it's a worthy cause. I'll be sending an email out to family and friends, in case you want to sponsor me and my climb. There is a website that you can visit and contribute towards my fundraising goal.

In my usual fashion of attacking a task thoroughly and completely, I visited the gym last night. I ran two miles on the elliptical, then sauntered over to the stairmaster. It's an actual stair climber, where you hike up stairs (opposed to the stairmaster, where you climb stairs that are pedals). I didn't want the stair climber to think I was intimidated. I climbed on and did 60 floors without stopping. I went at a moderate pace. It took me 15 minutes. Based on the law of proportions, I should be able to finish the climb in 20 minutes...but I know that the reality of hiking up dusty, concrete stairs while fighting hoards of other climbers and adjusting to the altitude will be much tougher.

I'm up for the challenge, though. However, I might need to save some of that IcyHot!

Quote Journal: Excuses

"Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."

-George Washington

What a powerful quote for New Years! Stop making excuses and you'll be successful 99% of the time. Those are pretty good odds.

My New Year's resolutions are quite simple this year:

1. Avoid making excuses.
2. To add one evening bubble bath during the week for the sheer purpose of facilitating relaxation.
3. To grocery shop once a week so I at least have milk in the house.
4. To Just keep swimming.

Blessings on your New Year!