I survived my first Muppet corporate executives' meeting on Monday. Held at St. Rowlf's, it was like Corporate operations, but on steroids. All the nurse administrators, HR people, and Finance people were there, too.Jim Henson kept saying the group was the "100 Top Execs" in the system. *I* know I'm not a top exec. As much as I aspire to be, I am not there yet. I respect the fact (and reality) that becoming a top exec takes years and years. It takes a long time to earn that kind of respect. So I didn't count myself in as one of the "100 Top Execs" at first. The more I sat there, though, I tried to own just a smidgen of it. I tried on that title "Executive" again, trying to feel comfortable in that skin. It's a big change, compared to where I've come from in the system. I worked my way up, obtaining a total of 4 promotions in 6.5 years. Maybe I will be a top exec some day. So yes, when he calls us the "Top Execs," I'm going to own a tiny piece of that, even if it's just for the future.
All went well. I had a social lunch, talking to three of my favorite senior VP's at Corporate, about process improvement and the eventual publication of our work. Okay, it's time to name them. I'll call them Newton, Fleming, and Edison. Fleming suggested I submit a piece to the New England Journal of Medicine. After snickering in his face, I realized he was serious. I then talked to Newton, the process improvement guru about submitting to another conference this year. We have a formidable amount of work we can tout to other systems. For the record, Edison is the one with whom I've been working on the huge, system-wide, patient safety grant. I also ran into Davidoff, my former VP when I worked at corporate. Despite the fact that Davidoff always looks uber-surprised to see me at the high-brow corporate meetings, lunch went well.
Settling back in for the afternoon session, I gave my attention to the next VP, Davidoff, who took the stage. Davidoff talked about how great the team is back at Corporate and how dependable they are (which is true). He then started talking about *me* and how great I am and how smart I am and SURPRISE! She's here with us, a part of our team now! He talked about my education and how I've risen through the ranks so quickly. He asked the execs to applaud me and my hard work these last few years.
My face was on fire. I'm surprised the turtleneck I was wearing under my suit didn't catch fire. I'm surprised I didn't spontaneously combust. How could he do this to me? While I always appreciate the applause, it felt humiliating for him to single me out…especially when he brought attention to the fact that I'm new, I'm young, and I'm still climbing the ladder. Jack thinks he did it to bolster his own self and publicize his department at corporate. I felt like I was two inches tall, and suddenly, didn't feel quite so welcome at the meeting. I stopped owning that "Top 100 Execs" title I so graciously adopted two hours earlier.
The next speakers, Newton, Edison, and Fleming talked about some of their system-wide plans and endeavors. One of these, of course, is the huge system-wide patient safety grant. Edison singled me out in front of the group, but it was in an affirming way, to genuinely thank me for the questions I raised during the process. THAT kind of recognition is good. I felt better about Davidoff's weird welcome and spotlight on me.
After the meeting, I chit-chatted with a few other people and drove back to St. Fozzie's for an hour layover. I had a physician dinner meeting from 5:30-9:30 (yes, 4 hours), and I needed to clear my head. I'm not sure what all of this meant, but I'm trying to frame it in a positive light. And maybe, Davidoff really stuck his neck out for me and since I am perceived to be doing well, he wanted credit. Who knows. All I know is that it's only Monday and I'm beat! Better schedule a bath in the ol' Blackberry!
Yay for positive confirmation of what a great job you're doing! ESPECIALLY if it's in a meeting of 100 Top Execs. - including you! After all that you've been accomplishing, leading, learning, and teaching, if you're not in the top 100, I want to know why not & how much work everyone else is doing ... ;)
ReplyDeleteI could see how that made you feel small. I mean, pointing out your newness isn't exactly nice. I bet he was just trying to inflate his own self-esteem. I would have blushed to my roots in that situation!
ReplyDeleteI have to give you props for surviving those meetings. Oy!
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! That's awesome. I'm assuming you didn't know this would be happening yesterday? Granted, I don't know this VP, but it sounds like you shouldn't take it as anything other than a huge compliment. And telling your "rags-to-riches" story is just evidence to the rest of the people there that working your ass off pays off. Maybe he was trying to motivate everyone else? I wouldn't take it as him trying to tell everyone you don't belong there. Are you pissed he told everyone because you don't like that kind of attention or...some other reason? Like I said, I don't know him, but I wouldn't doubt his sincerity. I'm sure he was congratulating himself a bit, execs tend to like to stroke their own egos, but you have worked your butt off and done awesome and deserve for other people to know it! You've been wanting positive feedback, someone to tell you that you're doing well - you got it in a big way :-) Just take it as a huge compliment, brush off any thoughts of people being insincere, and keep swimming!
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