Clouds

The blog has fallen off my radar. Life has taken over. But I like to record some of my adventures for later reflection.

So since Easter, I've been in a world of confusion and my head's been in a cloud. Work has been, well, awful. I achieved the promotion I've been seeking for the last couple months, the promotion that has been promised to me by Nurse Jackie and EVOO. A few months ago, seeing me eager to excel, Elvis asked me which departments I wanted to run. So I brainstormed a few things and presented my thoughts to Elvis. Then I told EVOO. Then EVOO told Nurse Jackie. And voila, I got my departments. My new FTE's amount to 64.5, bringing my total to 131.5.

I've come a heck of a long way. And I've managed to manage my nine managers and their staffs. I keep uncovering problems (some days are like "Whack-a-Mole") but I am having fun. I love my job and have been praised by several VP's for my efforts and outcomes. This is great.

However, I found myself in a political minefield. I learned of my promotion when one of my new direct reports asked to speak with me regarding a problem he's having in his department. He needs advice. Me, feeling the deer-in-headlights blush creep up my neck, played along as though I knew this was now my department. Turns out that my superiors told the manager before they told me. This is bad. Not only was it unprofessional, but they took away my bargaining chips. See, without a formal offer, you cannot negotiate for a new title or pay increase.

Skip the formal offer and you skip the negotiation phase for titles and salary. Great for them. Bad for me. I accepted the assignment but in the same breath, asked that they at least reconsider my title. It's not about the money, but with my FTE's doubled, a title should be the least they do.

Nope. Neither of my bosses waivered. They said they cannot change my title without re-evaluating everyone's titles. That's the political minefield part.

So I did what any sensible woman would do. I ran to the only other woman I trust in senior leadership, the VP of HR. She has become quite a friend and helped hook me up with a formal mentor, the president of St. Benson's hospital in Muppetville (this president is a woman, the only non-Sister senior administrator in the system). Anyway, my dear friend, the HR lady, is going to bat for me. I have no idea how this one will turn out, but I am forcing myself to be optimistic.

There's a lot of change going on in the hospitals right now and I'm only a small part of it. So I would rather have my problems then someone else's!

(That's optimism, right?)

So that's how I'm really feeling. And I'm not giving up yet!

Harry Potter at CHURCH

My Easter break was wonderful. I love taking those three days to really spend a good chunk of time taking inventory, figuring out what should change, what's going well, etc. It's a very peaceful time for me and as long as I work, I will take Good Friday off.

I've had a few Good Friday's where the weather is just beautiful and I would rather be outside washing windows or hand-washing my car to make good use of the 75 degree-and-sunny weather.

Anyway, THIS Friday brought cold, driving rain, and it fit the mood of the feast well. I attended the service at our new parish and relished the wonderful music and insightful meditations. Thunder appropriately crashed throughout the readings. I finally started to relax and as I looked up, I caught the eye of one of my colleagues (one of whom I have been picking her departments apart to increase operational efficiency). Then, later in the service, I saw two of my employees. It was just…strange. I've always been the one looking up to others in their faith and it was bizarre to be the boss and be "caught" at church. I hope it sent the message that Good Friday services are a good enough reason to take PTO. It occurred to me that we're all just plodding along in this life, trying to do our best.

A very uplifting realization.

And I have one more story to share from the 'churchy side' of Easter. Our pastor is just amazing and we cracked up when he started walking through the congregation for the Easter Vigil homily. He dropped what looked like a wooden stick. Jack leaned over and said, "was that a wand?" I giggled, sure he wasn't going to discuss HP.

A few minutes later, he launched into a Harry Potter story. It *was* a wand. You have to admit that's cool. Don't get carried away, he wasn't up there telling us magic existed!

Anyway, remember in book 3, where Harry and the gang had to fight the bogarts? A bogart is a ghost-like object that takes the shape of your deepest fear. Some fear the dentist, spiders, or even a scary professor. The spell that Harry learns, "Ridiculous!," is to make the fear funny. Once you laugh at a fear, it no longer has its fear over you. So laugh in the face of that fear and it will lose its grip on you. He then took the metaphor a step further…as Christians, our biggest fear is death. The empty tomb laughed in the face of death, losing its grip on us. So we never have to be fearful again.

The whole sermon reminded me of Monsters, Inc. The monsters first tried scaring everyone. Then the monsters figured out that it was more fun and more efficient to get everyone laughing, for laughing generated far more power. This is the same phenomenon…hell and brimstone is one way to scare people in believing, but to make it uplifting and positive, the words go much further to inspire.

So what's your bogart? And how are you going to start laughing at it?

CSI

So on Wednesday, I felt like I was on an episode of CSI. THREE times.

First, I was slated to co-present a leadership symposium from 8-10 a.m. We usually tag-team these events so we present a thorough and well-rounded presentation. So my counterpart and I sat down last week to figure out who was doing what in the 96 slide presentation. I had my slides and looked at them a few times before I went to bed this week.

I was ready to go.

Then he had to cancel, being pulled away from the accreditation survey. Another co-worker volunteered to help, only to be pulled away in management orientation. Completely alone, having to present a two-hour presentation to 124 people BY MYSELF was looking daunting. I have no problem presenting...but only when I've written the presentation and feel comfortable. This was someone else's presentation and I had only reviewed it in the haze of pre-sleep this week.

Fail!

So yet another co-worker volunteered to help and we ended up having three of us gut through the presentation. It went well, but could have been a lot better. Luckily, several high performers asked questions and helped us keep the presentation energized. While God totally kept us going for those two hours, it was the LONGEST two hours of my life. Well, maybe not my life, but definitely the past couple years. It was murder.

Once it ended and the accreditation stuff was over, I found myself with time to get caught up on emails and "real" work. After my derrier hit my desk chair, my pager immediately went off and scanning the screen, I saw it was one of my managers with a 911 call.

Fan-freaking-tastic!

So I dialed her number and found that a gunshot victim had presented to the Occupational Medicine clinic. Leaving a trail of blood through the clinic, he claimed the wound was an "impact wound" and that it happened at work (hence the Occ Med referral). When asked to fill out the workers' compensation forms, he admitted the wound was from a gunfight at work, that he had gotten into an argument with his boss and shots were fired.

[aren't you glad you don't work *there*?]

My manager, unsure of what to do, quietly called the cops (who didn't get the memo to cut the sirens as they approached the hospital) and wheeled the patient down to the ER. The patient needed surgical removal of the bullet and most likely, an inpatient stay with 24-36 hours of IV antibiotics.

I called surgery to check on the patient. They didn't have him yet. Then I called registration to see where he was in the process...getting ready? In holding? In transit? Nope, they did not even have him in the system yet. I scanned the lobby for a visual of the patient and did not see anyone remotely resembling the patient.

I then called the ER and learned the patient signed out AMA (against medical advice) and was hobbling down the highway, grasping his leg in agony. You cannot force a patient to stay in the hospital and despite our best attempt to treat the patient, he did not want to be treated. As long as it's documented, you're okay, legally. I think he was on the run from the cops.

Sometimes I feel like I'm working in inner-city Chicago. :)

I finally made my way home. I approached my front door and noticed a large blood spot on the storm door. A blood spot at about chest height! What the....?

Looking down, I spotted a mass of feathers. I deduced that a bird flew into my storm door (thankfully, not shattering it!) and fell to his/her death below. Then, apparently, someone came and had a bird feast, creating a storm of feathers. Let's just say I had to dispose of our Welcome mat...nothing says "welcome" like a mess of bloody feathers stuck to your mat!

And with that, I'm on unofficial retreat the next three days. Historically, I have taken Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday off from work. And I intend to do it again this year. Have a wonderful, blessed Easter!

But for the Grace of Kleenex

Ugh. I had my first accreditation survey this week and it was nerve-wracking.

It's always this feared phenomenon, the accreditation surveyor! However, they are really just giving you an open-book exam to which you have already received the questions. But it's scary because of the element of the unknown. We've been preparing for the accreditation survey for two years now (we are accredited for a period of three years...preparation for the next survey starts after approximately six months of peace and quiet).

I was nervous because I was named administrator for five areas. As a complete accreditation newbie, I had no idea what to expect. As a result, I ended up walking numerous hospital hallways, escorting surveyors and racing in front of revised surveyors' plans to visit units. I was absolved from time on the treadmill this week!

On Day 1, I had two of my units surveyed, inpatient dialysis and hospice. I knew we'd have a dialysis survey and did NOT know we'd have a hospice survey. We rent space to a hospice company and they have their own accreditation. So when I tried to be proactive and ask four months ago whether the survey team would visit hospice, I was told "heck no."

I was furious then, when I heard in the mid-afternoon that the survey team HAD visited hospice and that I had two minor citations: a partially-uncovered clean linen cart and an outdated I.V. pump that Biomed had not reviewed lately.

Dangit!!! At least they don't count because they rent the space. But still!!! Dangit!!!

Two other areas surveyed well and then my last big clinic was to be surveyed yesterday afternoon. Again, I was nervous, as I had the "badass" surveyor with me. I held my breath while my clinic staff fielded the questions like pros. I could've hugged my medical director for the way he answered the questions. Actually, I *did* when I returned today with three boxes of the softest Kleenex I could find in the hospital.

Why? Because, three hours earlier, I did a walk-through of this large clinic and found several violations of the 18" rule (any area with sprinklers must have 18 inches in clearance between the highest item and the ceiling tile). So we quickly rearranged a few things and while digging around the medical records room, I found four gross-looking half-used roles of toilet paper. The manager said it was their makeshift kleenex.

Sigh. Seriously? So I stole some premium kleenex from the physician storeroom and supplied the clinic a few boxes. It was the least I could do for them having garnered another perfect survey! I crept across the street to the clinic and, of course, ran into two Sisters from the Corporate Board. Nothing like having a covert Kleenex operation intersected by some nuns inquiring about why you are carrying four boxes of Puffs!

So I survived my first accreditation. As soon as the summation conference ended at 11:30 this morning, I had a massive stress let-down migraine. Fighting through my afternoon (and a totally random visit from a Corporate VP for whom I'm now ghostwriting), I texted my pal, Vera, and asked for chocolate. She's the keeper of chocolate in Administration.

Two minutes later, she appeared in my doorway with a cute bag of these:




They're bath salts shaped and scented like dessert treats (from Lush). She told me it's still Lent and that I need to back off the chocolate and use the bath salts instead. Now there's a friend for you...worried about your stress relief AND your immortal soul! What can I say? She *gets* me.

I have a few more stories to share, but I have a bath to take!

Cartoon: Tombstone

(teeheehee!)

Give it Up

We're on the homestretch to Easter. I took today off in honor of Palm Sunday. But I leave you with tremendous material that Nurse Starbucks forwarded to me via link. She knows I'm motivated by good tidbits of life wisdom and awe-inspiring quotes. This combines both and is well worth the five minutes you will spend reading it.

My personal favorites are numbers 2, 5, 11, 30, 36, and 43!


1.Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.

2.Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.

3.Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.

4.Give up complaining. – Do something about it.

5.Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.

6.Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.

7.Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

8.Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

9.Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”

10.Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small. Start now.

11.Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

12.Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.

13.Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.

14.Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.

15.Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

16.Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

17.Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall into place.

18.Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society. For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.

19.Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.

20.Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.

21.Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communicate effectively.

22.Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

23.Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. We get what we earn.

24.Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

25.Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.

26.Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving! Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program.

27.Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.

28.Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.

29.Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t smoke. Etc.

30.Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.

31.Give up being shy. – Network with people. Meet new people. Ask questions. Introduce yourself.

32.Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.

33.Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next. So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.

34.Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

35.Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t find the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

36.Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.

37.Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.

38.Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax. Breathe. Be.

39.Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.

40.Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.

41.Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

42.Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway. So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.

43.Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense. The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.

44.Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have. Many people aren’t so lucky.

45.Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

46.Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That’s when you’re beautiful.

47.Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.

48.Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different. Once again, be yourself.

49.Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’ Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.

50.Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.



Thanks for the link, Nurse Starbucks!

At Least It Wasn't Brady!

Do you have anyone in your life that makes you totally and completely nervous? Are there any high-level executives or medical professionals or even celebrities that make you tongue-tied? Your palms sweat and your heart races at the mere thought of speaking to them?

I always used to think I could easily befriend Jennifer Aniston or even a broken-hearted Britney Spears because I’m not usually star-struck. I could care less what kind of tuna Jessica Simpson ate or whether Brad Pitt has another kid. The only people who have really made me star-struck were Pope John Paul II in 1999 (from, like, 200 feet away) and Brady Quinn at Notre Dame stadium (for obvious reasons). However, I did not have occasion to *talk* to either of them. I could handle my sweating palms and racing heart from afar!

So the dynamic changes a bit when you have to *talk* to someone. You want them to think you’re a svelte, suave, savvy, eloquent human being and there’s nothing like that sort of pressure to, well, make your palms sweaty and heart race.

I have this complex with Jim Henson, the CEO of Muppetville. Pardon my potential blasphemy here, but he reminds me of a god (small “g” not large “G”). He wields so much power, seems omnipotent, and I would invariably run into him at Muppet Corporate when I worked there. I’d instantly find my heart racing and tongue fumbling to make our short interaction worth his godly time and noteworthy in his memory. I’m not sure why he intimidates me so; he’s just a person. That’s what I tell my nurses when they are nervous about talking to a doctor or another staff member about talking to Elvis. They’re just people! They have fears and cry and barf just like the rest of us.

[I told you, I’m probably clinically crazy].

Anyway, I still have this complex a little bit when I see Jim around St. Fozzie’s. I’m fine in scheduled meetings; my heart rate has a chance to return to normal before I speak. But when he catches me unaware, I’m a wreck. A couple months ago, he called St. Fozzie’s for me and I walked so fast from the boardroom to my office that I was out of breath. I couldn’t talk the first 3 minutes of the conversation because I had no oxygen in my bloodstream. Then just last week, I walked out of the ladies’ room and physically ran into him in the hallway by the boardroom . Then ten minutes later, he was standing 2 feet from my office door, shuffling papers and stapling things (don’t we have a secretary around to help with that?!). The words, “Jim-do-you-need-my-office-cuz-you-can-have-it-if-you-need-it” came rushing breathlessly out of my mouth in a non-coherent, crazy manner.

Yeah, I was cool that day. Major ROI toward an inpatient psyche ward.

So imagine my surprise when I was sitting in a regularly-scheduled meeting this afternoon and my pager suddenly buzzed to life. I looked down and it was a number from which Jim has called me from Muppet Corporate. I excused myself, trying to quell the sweaty-palm, racing-heart phenomenon and dialed the number from my office. It wasn’t Jim, but Jim’s next-in-command, the Muppet system CMO. I had emailed him a quick question the day before and instead of emailing back, he paged me so we could talk in person.

It was actually really nice of him to take time out of his day to talk to lil’ ol’ me, but I could’ve passed on the adrenaline that dripped down my spine! We had a great talk and once my dumb parasynthetic nervous system calmed down, I was fine.

Thank goodness it wasn’t the Pope calling! Or worse, Brady Quinn!

Trophies

I updated my Facebook status the other day to read "I could handle being a trophy wife on days like this."

Not trying to be dramatic. But some days, I *could* handle that lifestyle! I have a few 'trophy wife' friends who are free to go for a jog mid-morning, hit a Pilates class, go sit in a cafe and thumb through a book, perhaps get a manicure, etc! I guess that's what happens when you marry a surgeon! :)

Today I helped fire an endocrinologist, drafted a plan to regionalize two more programs, and accidentally started a massive discussion about patient safety (or the lack thereof) among members of senior leadership. This is good; we need to have these decisions as reform and Value-Based Purchasing roll onto the healthcare scene. However, I am beginning to wonder if people see me as a fire-starter. Or a pot-stirrer. Or worse, a trouble-maker. Someone jokingly told me that they dread getting emails from me because it usually means more work.

At first I was oddly flattered. Then I started to wonder....!

It's tough to go around and pick at things that have been "okay" for years and years. There are employees who are perfectly content to come to work, punch in, do the minimal amount of work, punch out, and go home. They go to work, do the same exact thing, day in and day out. But when you start nosing around their business, they tend to get defensive.

But that's not going to get us to the next level. We may remain a "good" hospital, but we'll never become a GREAT hospital. Good is the enemy of great. If you're complacent with Good, why even bother trying to reach Great?

It's frustrating. And yes, I just quoted the book Good to Great. Read it if you have not already. It is far beyond the business world and touches upon all walks of life.

So I lucked out today to have two cancellations on two of my monthly meetings. Well *I* wasn't the lucky one (one employee had the stomach flu, another a death in the family), but I found myself with two open hours to get some actual work done during daylight hours. So I wrote a presentation, prepared for tomorrow's meetings, and voila, suddenly had time to blog again.

Life is good. Wait, I mean, life is GREAT. But I still feel like I'm due for a strong margarita!

*Groan!*

It's been a unique week. I'm doing my absolute best to quickly create regional Endocrinology and Bariatrics programs among all three of our campuses. It's fun and because of the urgency of the situation, I'm learning a lot on the fly. Just call me McFly. Or maybe just "idiot." It's largely a trial and error operation and when I think I might be breaking our management agreement or even state regs, I ask Nurse Jackie. She just laughs and lets me borrow her hammer.

Looking for laughs, I stumbled across a hysterical punny website. Here are a few of my favorites:


"My wife was quite upset (teed off?) after she spilled a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate (spiced chocolate chai actually), not because of the broken cup, or that it spilled on the carpet and might leave a stain, but because she had just spent all that time making it exactly the way she likes it at just the right temperature. "I didn't even get one sip of that," she said. I couldn't help myself when I said. "Well, if at first you don't succeed, chai, chai again."


Did you know William Tell and his family were avid bowlers? It's true. But, unfortunately, a fire destroyed all the league records, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.


A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .... A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


And the best one of them all...!

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the Eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

Name that Picture

Picture #1...

Some may call this "weirdness." We call it "heaven." This nifty little deli is opening up right across the highway from our house. I sincerely hope they have kielbasa, homemade noodles, and stuffed cabbage. And maybe some pierogis.


Picture #2...

How much is that doggie in the sports car? Woof woof! I did a triple-take when Jack made some comment about Chicago drivers being dogs. Since this was a BMW, I hope this pup is insured. Hey, wait, isn't that Gretchen? Nurse Starbucks, are you missing your pupster? She's up here, cruisin' around the Chi.


Picture #3...

At first look, these appear to be normal strawberries. However, this was about all I got when I bought a *pound* of berries. They're friggin' huge. Freakishly, hormonally huge. Monster berries. That fork next to them, to show their massive size, is 3 feet long.

And how's *your* day been?