Lost "Lost" Me

I used to be a Lost devotee. The pilot episode drew me in and I accepted the mysterious weirdness in the first couple of seasons…the hatch, the black fog, the polar bears, the unbelievably random back-stories of everyone stranded on the island together.

Then I decided that Lost was too weird and not only did I lose track of the story line if I missed more than 48 seconds of an episode, but the plot lines stressed me out.

I felt the same with 24 and ER. I expect surprising, stressful endings when I’m watching Notre Dame football. But regularly-scheduled television? Not so much. But in my tradition of watching series finales and formulating all sorts of unsupported opinions, I offer you my comments on Lost:

1. If they’ve been trapped on the island for years now, why is the 350 pound character still, well, 350 pounds? They can’t possibly have anything but nuts and berries on that island, right? Is that a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise I spy behind the secret hatch!?

2. I’m not sure why John Locke had such a central role. Didn’t he die in season two?

3. There are a bunch of new people on the island, folks with whom I’m not familiar. Did another plane crash on the island and why didn't that hit the tabloids?

4. I thought the Man in Black was a Will Smith movie from the late 90's? I

5. I think I understood the sideways world where it seems like everyone is in purgatory (or for the non-Catholic, limbo) and must figure out the purpose of their lives. That was brilliant and actually gave me good mental fodder while I’m waiting for my coffee pot to finish tomorrow morning.

6. I love the idea of magic island water. Where can I get me some of that? Will everything I sprinkle it on become a gorgeous tropical island? Or is it something you're supposed to drink? Nevermind, I probably already know the answer to that one!

I won't wreck the ending for you (Jack), but it was both symbolic and philosophically-pleasing to anyone who might look for something deeper in their weekday television entertainment. However, they still left about 31 unanswered questions (and those are the questions about which I know!). While there probably won't be any kind of sequel, there are plenty of unraveled threads that can be addressed in books and tv interviews with the producers!

Wink, wink.