Coping

I've been in a strange state of disarray today. Jack and I spent exactly 23 hours in SB over Thanksgiving and managed to visit with four different sides of the family. In one word, we're, well, spent!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It's always been one of my very favorite holidays. But something was a bit off this year. My routine was upset and I'm definitely feeling it.

First, we had to drive 3 hours Wednesday night to get back to SB (in bad weather and awful traffic, I might add), we stayed at my aunt's house overnight, and visited my mom for a scant few hours (when we usually pass out into turkey comas by the fireplace and end up watching Christmas movies into the evening when we break out the leftovers for grazing purposes). After visiting with the cutest niece and nephew in the world and our other family, we had to hit the highway. While Jack and I did fit in a viewing of "Polar Express," we headed to bed so we could go to WORK. I think it was the first time in my adult life where I didn't A) hit the mall at 4 a.m. for Christmas shopping and B) relax all weekend. This is the first time I ever worked the day after Thanksgiving.

Don't get me wrong, it was a much-needed work day. I dug out of my piles of accumulated work and will start Monday with a clean slate. But it just seemed weird to avoid the stores, sales, and ads in lieu of working a normal work day.

The other part of it is that, for the last 9 years of our marriage, I have always put the Christmas tree up on the day after Thanksgiving (or, at least, that weekend). Since we're moving in two weeks, that's a futile action and instead of unpacking the Christmas decorations, I'm packing up the rest of my stuff!

With the expense of the house, closing costs, and the large down payment due, we are scaling way, way back on Christmas this year. Our family and friends have been sympathetic to this and everyone's pretty much agreed on a one-year hiatus for Christmas gifts. While this has taken a large seasonal stressor off my plate, I feel as though I'm missing out on something! I feel as though I *should* be fighting the hoards of people for whatever the must-have items of the season are. It must be a strange twist of guilt. I feel bad I cannot purchase gifts for everyone I love this year, but I just cannot justify charging gifts. Plus, the season's not about gifts. It's about giving. And Jack and I are exploring other ways to give this season. It's actually quite liberating (I think)!

I am trying to embrace this new perspective this year. Nothing has been easy, quick, or painless this past year; what's one more challenge? Maybe it will give us more incentive to focus on Advent, too.

Despite my seemingly tough exterior, I am a softy for holiday traditions. I decided I will still put up a Christmas tree and decorate our new house...but I'll just leave the decorations up through Epiphany (instead of tearing everything down on New Year's Day, per my usual routine!). Just keep coping, right?!