Fire Within

There are so many "buzzwords" in management and leadership these days. Everywhere you go, you hear words like, "synergy" or "hardwire" or "accountability." One of my very favorites is "empowerment," though, because I believe it's true.

If you are able to empower people, you are a true leader.

I aspire to be this type of manager, but it takes practice. I tend to ebb and flow with the level of accountability to which I hold myself and my employees. Lately, I've been ebbing, because I have been very focused on my ethics papers and impending 20-minute oral exam in late April with one of the triple-PhD'd ethicists.

So imagine my surprise when, on Day Two of ACHE, I totally and completely had my internal fire reignited. I attended four sessions on Tuesday and my two favorites were the sessions on Creating Accountability and Empowering Women Leaders.

I was most struck by the woman CEO presenting the Empowerment session. She was in her mid-50's and very polished. She introduced herself as the oldest of several kids, from a conservative Catholic family, and who had much pressure from peers, family, and friends, to have babies and live the traditional female lifestyle (sound familiar?). She alluded to the fact that she could not have children and, instead, pumped her energy and enthusiasm into changing and improving healthcare. Because she helped raise her younger brothers, she "got that childrearing need" over with early in life. What's even funnier is that she told us about her husband who changed careers and was back in school, during the evenings, until recently.

So the presentation was great. She likened the "career ladder" to a labyrinth and suggested that women's career paths are more similar to labyrinths (you get to the center eventually, but you take a lot of twists, turns, hairpin turns, and bypass a lot of blind alleys on your way). I definitely agree; my career path has also resembled a labyrinth. But what struck me most of all was that another woman, from seemingly similar circumstances *was* able to achieve her life's dream of changing healthcare for the better.

It's not about titles, compensation, or even geography. It's about finding your passion, setting goals, and running like the wind. THAT's empowerment.

I left the session with a quiet, serene peacefulness I rarely experience. It suddenly dawned on me that I am exactly where I need to be. I have no idea where I'm headed, which blind alleys are waiting to surprise me, or in which direction my career will head. But I do know that I have nothing to fear.

So I departed the conference and after checking in with Nurse Jackie about some raging physician problems we're having, I met some friends downtown for drinks. We went to Hub 51 and I was especially looking forward to catching up with friends from our trainee days. One is a practice administrator downtown, one's a VP, and one is in a similar role as me. I fight the urge not to compare myself; they are in smaller, less formal organizations. Again, I am where I need to be.

But as our conversation progressed, two new folks joined us. They were both from NYC and despite their professional titles, were rude and cut us off several times. One was auditioning for The Apprentice and the other is trying to start a non-profit bar (yes, you read right). It quickly became a game of one-upping and "look at me" stories and two of us separated from the conversation to catch up without the NYC-induced stress.

As I walked back to the train, in the blustery Chicago wind that cuts through to your soul, I felt bitter and unsettled. They may live in a cutthroat world where you're always climbing on top of people to get ahead. I quickly decided that I will not behave like that. Ever. I'll stick to my own labyrinth and let the cutthroats, well, cut others' throats!

The peace gradually returned. It helped that I caught the correct train back to suburbia!

The rest of the week went well. I taught two classes on Friday and I was really dreading the experience until I was able to draw upon some of that internal fire. I have three more coming up this week, but I know they will go well. If you're quietly confident, people actually believe what you're saying. !!

So that was my week. Again, I like reading old posts to see my progress. I know I will need to remind myself of the igniting experiences of this week.

It's off to work now. Even though it's still cold out for late-March, the sun's out. That's newsworthy in itself!