Daisies

I'm taking a quick break from drafting my first paper for my Synoptics class. We are to research some element of Greco-Roman culture and explain how it influenced the formation of the Gospel of Mark in AD 70. I'm greatly enjoying this and am expounding upon the traditional Passover sedar and how it gives context to the Last Supper.

My blog posts this past week have been light. SO much happened at work, with ongoing meetings, operational reorganizations of departments, and ongoing HR issues. I had to write up one of my managers and it was not good. He actually cussed at me when I presented him with the reasoning for the write up and form to sign.

He's 59. It was like writing up my dad. Difficult, but necessary. It was a humbling experience because there's still so much I don't know about the HR side of things at work. I do know you probably shouldn't cuss out your boss, though, and that presented a whole other opportunity!

So it was a little hairy this past week, but I knew that another Franciscan Leadership retreat was coming up on Friday and Saturday. This is the one where they make us ditch our cell phones and pause enough to reflect on our duties as Christian leaders. The first retreat was very enlightening and relaxing and I couldn't wait to return to the convent for more sanctioned (required?) reflection and relaxation.

I left work early on Thursday to drive up to the convent, a two-hour drive. Exhausted from everything, I crashed early after enjoying the welcoming, hospitable snacks and beverages the Sisters left for us. The retreat started at 7 a.m. on Friday morning and lasted through 2 p.m. on Saturday. I'm not at liberty to say much about it (what happens at the convent stays at the convent!), but it was a tremendous, soul-baring experience.

All twenty of us were so exhausted and, well, spent after the retreat. There was a lot of intimate Bible exegesis, small group sharing, and introductions to various types of prayer- everyone is getting to know each other well and feel comfortable sharing personal details from their journeys. If you've ever been on a really good retreat, you know the feeling well...you need to go home, have a stiff drink, and then sleep for 14 hours straight!

The retreat ended with a poignant reflection. Each participant was asked to take a flower from a plate of carnations and daisies and a small square of glass.

We were asked to first examine the glass. What do you see through the glass? Everything. What is hidden? Nothing. We are being called to live like the glass does...totally transparent and honest. Actions should match words. Walk the walk. Don't withdraw from the integrity bank. Etc.

Then we were asked to study the flowers we chose from the plate. I grabbed a small, purple daisy. When I studied it in depth, I thought to myself, "Man, this flower is wilting and is probably dying...what a bad omen for my career in leadership!" Its petals were small, the leaves on the step tiny. The flower was on its way to Flower Heaven.

Then I studied it closer. I noticed that the petals and leaves weren't dying, but that they hadn't really sprouted yet. The petals were small, yet firm. They had not reached out all the way yet and needed more time for growth. Same with the tiny leaves on the stem...Curling with a firm, dark green color, the leaves had a lot of potential. With a little nurturing, sunshine, and water, they could sprout into something beautiful. However, at the time, the purple daisy was small and not trying to be a full-grown daisy yet. It was just being its own self- small, developing, and still a little green. And that was okay with the little daisy.

I still feel way, entirely out of my league. I have no idea what I'm doing with this group of people. However, there couldn't have been a better daisy for me. I'm still young, green, and developing. I need time and experience to become that full-grown daisy. But, for right now, it's okay to be the undeveloped, young daisy and be at peace with my station in life right now.

Every flower has to grow through dirt. Every flower needs time to develop and grow.