GREAT

This is my favorite quote for the YEAR. Maybe this decade. Isn't it funny how you get exactly what you need when you need it most?

I usually approach motivation in terms of perseverance, endurance, a little "just keep swimming" through the crap people throw your way. I tend to think of experience as something I get when I don't get what I really want.*

I recently returned from a lung-clogging conference in Chicago at the Four Seasons (no, not from the 110 degree heat index and smog combo, but because I've somehow come down with a bad case of bronchitis that progressed to walking pneumonia. Seriously? Who the HECK gets pneumonia in July when you're NOT 92 years old and in a nursing home? Sigh). This was one of those 'executive summits' where you find yourself brushing elbows with hospital presidents and system execs. Hey, at least they knew who I was- but that didn't stop me from feeling like the kid at the dinner table when they waved me over to join them at lunch on Tuesday. One half of the table discussed the neophyte accountable care organization and physician alignment. My half? Your favorite vacation memories and how much everyone hated the asparagus soup they served us.

Some conferences serve to reinforce what you know. They strengthen your resolve to advance patient safety and process improvement. Other conferences stretch every brain cell in your head and address high-level strategic planning techniques designed by nerdy PhD's so that you're left wondering how you can possible boil it down enough to do something with the knowledge at home.

I felt the temptation to feel beat down. Defeated. Young. Green. Outta my league.

[I really hope part of that temptation was from my July bronchial nightmare!]

However, I'd like to think those hospital presidents feel insecure sometimes, too.

[Right?]

Last month, my mentor told me to start thinking of myself as a top executive. If I don't project that image, they won't think of me as that either. However, several points are coming together, challenging me to NOT seek upward mobility as an end in itself. My Franciscan Leadership course, my pastoral theology class, and my friend "Joe" all said the same thing- that true, true leadership is not about upward mobility. It's about downward mobility- to serve your employees. To let them know you and your vulnerabilities. To let them forgive you when you make mistakes. And to reflect upon these experiences to discern God's hidden voice in all the mind-clutter of daily life.

True leaders abandon power and authority and focus on service. Power and authority are meaningless without a spirit of service behind them.

It's a HARD pill to swallow and a personal battle I have almost every day.

But when I attend events like this Summit in Chicago, I am unfortunately reminded of who I don't want to be. I don't want to be that seasoned exec, whom, when the young Dorrie strikes up a quick conversation, I dramatically check my watch. I don't want to be the exec who is sure to tell me about the national award he's receiving for operational excellence. I don't want to be that exec who name-drops to increase his own perceptions of his own importance.

Your ego doesn't impress me, buddy.

I'm not throwing stones here. Mistakes happen. But these actions seem to betray that sense of humility true leaders are called to embody. That's the tough part- I cannot plead ignorance and sometimes, it stinks!

However, I appreciate these conference experiences, the story-sharing with colleagues, and opportunities to eat our way across the city (Gibsons, Check! Jilly's, Check! Signature Lounge, Check!). All of these lessons add up to influence me for the better and for that, I'm grateful.



*That strike of brilliance wasn't me, I read that quote a while back and cannot recall the author. Ethics first!