Growth

I’m trying to sum up what’s happened in my world since the last post (almost two months ago!). The one word is “growth.”

[Luckily, it’s not just my pant size!]

I missed blogging. While it’s quasi stressful at the time (one more thing to DO), it helps me reflect upon my life and the lessons I’ve learned personally and managerially. So you’re stuck with me until I self-impose another fast from blogging!

Back to growth…

Work and career discernment lately has taken a big toll on my emotion and mental wellbeing. I was up for another executive position at a sister hospital (requiring a relocation to another city). Then I was immediately rejected for the position- because that hospital tried to “recruit” me from my current hospital. They actually got in trouble for tapping me on the shoulder. I’m still digesting the whole situation- usually when THEY call YOU, you’re in. But all it really did was increase my stock value at St. Fozzie’s and at the same time, make me feel caged in and as though I was a marionette puppet whose strings were moved by another power.

Feeling both lost and powerless over my own career, I caught Elvis for a spontaneous, hour-and-a-half discussion. I left his office relieved to hear they DO have plans for me and part of those plans is to keep me a “generalist” in administration so I can avoid being pigeonholed. They also want me to try a bunch of different things so I become a well-rounded leader. It all makes sense now, but I could have used that explanation 4-5 months ago!

So I grew- in my trust, in my faith, in my confidence, and in my frustration that my calling is to continue being that voice of change. I’m supposed to become the change I want to see in healthcare.

I’m going to have to keep swimming upstream.

[Insert "growth" here.]

[Perhaps I should change the title of this blog to “Just Keep Swimming, Dammit” ???]

There are lots of work issues right now- fighting consolidations and outsourcing, implementing mergers and igniting cultural change, programmatic developments, and process improvements. My work-BFF, Mary, took over the Quality department and since she’s schooled in Lean, we’ve been working together a lot lately to improve our delivery of care to our patients. THAT is fun and quite rewarding.

Sometimes professional growth is fun, too.

On a personal note, I am halfway through my summer Theology class, which is a pastoral theology class. It’s “fluffy” as far as theology classes go, but it’s hitting me to my core. I always considered pastoral theology a joke; now I see how it fits into the mature theologian’s world view.

For instance, my old pal Bewley visited this past weekend with her 16 month-old son. Who is attached. At the hip. To the point where when Bewley leaves the room for even 10 seconds, he breaks out in an inconsolable bloody murder scream. This was *really* fun after the first couple hours. As soon as she was out of eyesight, even to grab a Kleenex in the bathroom, he’d quickly well up with alligator tears and run screaming into the night.

The old Dorrie would have gritted her teeth and invented some business emergency by which to escape (Kidding! Well, sort of). The new, pastoral theology-schooled Dorrie, chose to {gulp!} embrace the difficult situation and practice some Franciscan hospitality. Without muttering TOO MUCH under my breath!

See? I’m growing. Painfully but certainly.

Finally, Jack and I have taken to cycling for a nice summertime hobby. It's a great diversion from the usual stress, but is also serving to develop me some "dude legs" as my calves are huge from all the pedaling. We're up to 25-30 miles a weekend (not an easy feat in Chicagoan wind- it is ALWAYS windy here) and having a great time at it. Plus, our usual route takes us by one of the region's best breweries, so we afford ourselves the chance to stop, all sweaty, for a cold brewski.

That's what summer's all about so far: growth (and beer!).