Suicidal Planning in Chicago

It's a quiet week in Administration…well, it *is* only Monday evening. My EVOO boss is on vacation, Sister Loudes is playing with her sisters downtown at Navy Pier, and even the second secretary is out on extended jury duty. My boss took off for the other campus so it was just me and the CFO, Cookie Monster. He still had a pile of cookies in his office when I strolled by. Why is it that I cannot stop fantacizing about the cd-sized cookies that are only mere footsteps away? I think I have OCD…Obsessive Cookie Disorder. Hey, the first step is realizing I have a problem!

So I seized the day to catch up on my filing, my emails, and my office chatter. It took me two full hours to file and organize three weeks' worth of crap and meeting notes.

I chatted with a couple managers about my morning plans. I am going downtown tomorrow for a conference and I'm nervous about having to traverse rush hour traffic into Chicago. There is so much construction in and around downtown; it might add hours to my travel time. So I asked them both what they thought about driving vs. taking the train. They both agreed that trains are usually faster (and less harried for the commuter) IF the train doesn't hit anybody!

Of course, my next question was, "And just how often do trains hit people? Is this a normal occurrence?"

"Almost daily," they said. Apparently, it's pretty normal.

Perfect! So I'm going to take a train into Chicago and could be late because someone's committing suicide by tying themselves to the tracks. Or jumping in front of the oncoming train. I guess it wouldn't be committing suicide, though, it would be COMMUTING SUICIDE!

I just don't get it…why would you commute suicide by tying yourself to the tracks? Isn't that straight out of a black and white film from the '30's? Haven't people gotten any more creative over the last 80 years with suicidal techniques?! What's next, delays on the Tri-State tollway because of tarring and feathering (you could rename it the Tar-State Tarway)? Or is there a hanging scheduled at O'Hare (you could rename the airport O'Hang)?

I'm just hoping for a non-eventful trip downtown. It's my first solo trip...details to come!