Time Bomb

The last few days have *really* tested my strength. I worked 40 hours just between Sunday and Tuesday; by the time Wednesday rolled around, I was a mess of nerves, knots, and just yuck. I left my all-day meeting at St. Animal's and drove home to SB...

Where Jack showed his undying love for me by taking me out for dinner and letting me vent over a much-needed glass of vino. It was a great break, but it just delayed the inevitable. For me, the inevitable was reading 70 pages of intensive stroke literature by which I was to compare the newest versions of our standing order sets to clinical pathways of treatment. While I have no idea how to explain the etiology of stroke, I can compare the order sets to what the government recommends!

Despite my best efforts, we may only get one order set before the Medical Executive Committee next week. It's the primary set, but still, instead of three brand new sets, we may only have one. And that's only because my partner in crime, Peppermint Patty, got the stomach flu and couldn't do the five hour teleconference on Friday as we planned.

Why a teleconference? Because I was at Muppet Corporate for a meeting on Thursday. It was a systemwide Quality Council meeting and while it's very informative, I don't get broken down the same way I used to. Either I'm getting used to this caliber of meeting or the content is less serious. Hopefully it's the former! Nurse Jackie presented our SBAR activities to the group and she even mentioned me by name for the support I've given the project. Those little mentions go a long way for me.

Regardless, it's hard returning to Muppet Corporate. Even though I spent six years there, it feels like a short, passing phase in my life. Some people haven't changed one bit. People park in the same parking spots. They sit in the same places in the breakroom. It's weird for me to return; the pace of my life seems as though nothing will ever be routine ever again. It's like when you go away to college after your high school years. You read about your high school in the newspaper and think, "Wow, things continue to happen at my high school even though I'm gone? You mean, the world hasn't stopped just because I've left?"

Yeah, I think egocentric things like that, too. At least I realize it and try to uproot it! If anything, it adds wisdom to my perspective, right?

Anyway, at Corporate, some people blow me off completely and ask me why I'm back...while others ask me 39 questions about my life, job, and new environment. It's a mixed bag. I while I answer only to myself these days, I shudder when I think back to that hourly mentality I had only a year ago.

Since then, I've thrown aside all preconceived notions of the work week. If I need to work on nights and weekends, so be it. If I have the five hour teleconference on a Saturday (to squeeze it in and accomplish what I need to accomplish),so be it. I'm in a different place and whenever I return to Corporate, it reminds me of how far I've come and how much I've changed in nine short months.

It's a rebirth of sorts.

Don't worry, I'm still trying to grapple with the work/life balance and I realize that without proper down-time, I could remain a ticking time bomb!