Valentine's Day BandAid

I spent the entire weekend painting. I painted closets, trim, walls, and even heating vents. My manicure is chipped, but Jack and I crossed about ten things off our list.

Our list of stuff to accomplish before we list our house. It's three pages long.

I guess it's no surprise that we've been preparing to sell. With the job offers I've received in Chicago, it only makes sense that we start preparing our house for the market. There are some projects we've needed to complete, rooms that needed a refreshing coat of paint, and hardware that's been needing updating since we've lived there. Even if, for some reason, we don't have to move, these projects needed completion anyway.

Did I mention that it's been six years as of yesterday? We closed on our house on February 14, 2004. We pulled out of the title company with our keys and drove to our new house. We immediately started cleaning, planning, and gutting. Jack handed me my key and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, honey." It was the most expensive V-Day gift I'll ever receive!

It was weird to spend Valentine's Weekend 2010 up to our eyeballs in paint. We truly came full-circle. On Saturday night, we hauled our exhausted and paint-splattered bodies into showers and Jack whipped up a Panko-encrusted salmon, broccoli, and wedge salads. Jack handed me my plate and said, "Happy Valentine's Day, honey." In our pj's, we enjoyed our feast, barely able to keep our eyes open long enough to finish dinner and watch the two Korean short-track speed skaters crash, giving Ono the silver medal.

Sunday was more of the same. We finished the third bedroom, the trim, the closet, and painted the whole bathroom (it's pretty). Oh, and we recaulked everything in the house that ever needs caulk. I left SB with a sore, shaky-exhausted body and hole somewhere in my heart.

Everyone in my life seems to be moving on. Some of my family members have retired, sought new jobs, and they're adjusting to these changes. A few of my friends found new jobs, are having babies, or found new love. Others are moving on. I'm moving on, too.

Except that some people don't see my progression as, well, progression. They see it more as a threat to the family structure and cannot understand why I would ever leave SB for a job. To them, family is of the utmost importance and everything else is secondary. Family is crucial to me; anyone who knows me well knows that. But I've been given such a gift in this job. I've been encouraged to spread my wings, own my boardroom experience, and make something great of myself. You don't get many chances like this; I'm not naive to this opportunity.

I have a mentor who, after my presentation on Wednesday, jumped up and shook his fist in the air, celebrating my success along with me. It reminded me of the Olympics coaches who exhibit such excitement when their athletes win the gold. They jump up, shake their fist in the air, celebrating with the athletes' hard work and dedication that always pay off in the end.

That's what I need right now. Even if a select few do not agree with my bi-timezone existence, professional dreams, and possible departure from SB, please fake it. Pretend you're happy for me (and Jack). I need positive support right now because as tough as this is for you, it's even tougher for me. I'm straddling two lives and this year has been akin to pulling a bandaid off a wound, very s-l-o-w-l-y.

I went downtown to meet some of my newbie administrator friends for dinner tonight. We went to Sidebar and did our usual "what's your hospital life like?" discussions. While everyone's moving on and slowly transitioning into specific areas in their respective hospitals, no one has to deal with prepping a house and selling in this cruddy economic market. That's a unique worry of mine. Jack's shouldering a huge portion of this burden and I'm very grateful he's strong and persevering in these household endeavors!

Thank you for listening to me vent. Everyone in this forum seems to deeply support me. I am grateful for you and cherish the positive feedback and pep talks you've sent my way.