Restless Spirit

I'm happy to report that the doctor party yesterday afternoon was a resounding success. I was nervously tapping my foot at 12:02, enduring those teenage fears that no one is going to come to your party and you'll be left with cuisine (and margaritas) for 55 people. However, the steady stream of medical residents, fellows, attendings, and hospital administration started at 12:06 and didn't let up until the room was full and excited conversation fill the air.

Whew! It was great and while I spent a lot of time with the cardiologists, having everyone in the same room was wonderful. In fact, they requested a monthly "happy hour" at rotating hot spots downtown and would I mind orchestrating something like that?

Party planner? Why not. I can file that under "other duties as assigned" in my job description!

Despite the frenetic pace of the last week, I'm awash with reflective mojo today. I just worked for two hours on my beautiful deck, enjoying the 80-degree, breezy summer day. It doesn't get much better than this in Chicagoland. It makes me a bit sad that summer is coming to an end, but there's an exciting world of football, chili, sweatshirts, and falling leaves approaching soon!

See, told you I was feeling reflective!

After my initial viewing of "Eat, Pray, Love" last night (thank you for accompanying me, Jack) and having read 75% of the book "The Lost Girls," I'm trying to pin down my own sense of wandering.

I've written about "Eat, Pray, Love" before and while I don't necessarily agree with the author's reason for leaving, I totally understand the need to get away to figure out who you are. I understand how easy it is to succumb to life pressures, mortgages, 70 hour work weeks (*cough, cough*), and other responsibilities that we created for ourselves. Seriously, if we didn't have the new cars and the white-picket fence, would we really be working our fingers to the bone in the endless quest for financial security? Isn't it true that, once you boost yourself up to the next level of financial prosperity, your spending just increases at least by that amount? I'm just sayin'!

So while we create these never-ending responsibililites for ourselves, I completely understand how, sometimes, you just have to get away. That is the crux of both stories. "The Lost Girls" is a wonderful, candid travelogue of three late 20-somethings who travel the world for one year. They're also escaping their Manhattan lifestyles, hoping to find a sense of belonging, meaning, and peace in a materialistically-saturated NYC existence. Aren't we all searching for a sense of belonging, meaning, and peace? This strikes me as a universal quest, undertaken by any thoughtful person.

As I'm inundated with this concept...of leaving your life to travel the world and figure out who the heck you are as a person, I reflect on my own life. As appealing as it would be to backpack South America again and visit quaint villages in Asia, I realized that I've already had a similar experience. Sometimes I forget that I already did the backpackers' gig. Granted, I didn't visit outreaching villages on the coast of Vietnam, but I garnered a fair bit of experience while in Europe for a year and South America for two weeks. Every time Jack and I get a chance, we're on a plane somewhere. I frequently get bitten by the travel bug and jump at any chance to experience something new. So while I'm tempted to drop my life and travel, I realize I've already had this opportunity. Seriously, how many people have attended mass at the Vatican on Easter Sunday, spotted a tarantula (and a colorful parrot) in the wild while hiking the Iguazu Falls, or witnessed the generosity of a nameless bakery owner who bestowed warm, fresh-baked, FREE brownies and pretzels to me in Sweden when I about froze to death after watching fishermen haul their catches ashore? And that's not even counting the fact that I've been able to traverse nearly every green pasture, traditional pub, seaside village, and towering cliff in Ireland. I'm so lucky!

Okay, fine, so I won't do the backpacking gig again. But can't I just up and leave my current life, take a new job in a big city, venture out by myself to make new friends, and leave all my fears behind? Oh yeah, I did that, too, with my whole 1 year, 1 month, and 8 day separation from Jack. I was able to do all of that and more and I feel so much stronger because of it.

So now, I'm wondering what I should do to break out of the norm and continue my search for belonging, meaning, and peace. I feel like I've already done the "escape route" option. Is it time to do volunteer work? Get more involved in our church community? What's next?

[To be continued...hopefully!]