Quote Journal: Risk

It's a nutty week for Jack and me (even nuttier than usual, when you factor in several evening meetings, Jack's final exam, a Holy Day, and a household in shambles), so I leave you with this tidbit to ponder:


"Risk is the price you pay for opportunity."

---Tom Selleck's character on Blue Bloods


I have no idea what the show Blue Bloods is about or who Tom Selleck plays, but I love this quote. You cannot expect great opportunities or chances to come your way without putting yourself out there. It also follows that, without risk, there are no great rewards.

It's a MAJOR Award!

Happy St. Nick Day!

I hope you all put your stocking out last night and had St. Nick fill it with little candy and sundry items! I made sure St. Nick Day was on, well, St. Nick's Outlook calendar last week! :)

PS, Isn't this hysterical? A Leg Lamp stocking? I'm tempted to buy it, just for its conversational value!

Mouse Capades

Well, I didn't cuddle up in my nest of feathers and watch movies all day on Saturday like I was planning (although, we did watch a few episodes of Boardwalk Empire). Instead, we packed up the rest of our stuff in preparation for the big move. I swear, I am never moving again. For all practical purposes, I have moved three times in the past year and a half. Once from SB to Chicagoland (when I initially moved), then we moved a bunch of stuff when the house went on the market in spring, then we moved everything else from SB to Chicagoland this summer. And now, we have an apartment and a storage unit to move into the house. Sigh. If anyone asks, just bury me in the back yard of the new house, 'cuz I ain't movin' again!

I'm a bit nervous to get our stuff out of storage. While it has only been in there for six months, you hear horror stories of mouse or roach infestations. In planning the move, my mom and I inherited the task of sorting through fresh-from-the-storage-unit boxes. Oh, and would I mind opening them all to make sure Mickey and Minnie weren't stowing a ride to a nice, new abode? Forget the Ice Capades, we're talking Mouse Capades!

Hmm. How did the ladies end up with this task? Don't even ask me what I'm going to do if I find a mouse in a box of theology books from school! I think I'd rather be solely responsible for the physical transportation of a 1,000 pound, solid wood hutch!!!

This feels like the final step in our movement toward peace and organization. I took a couple days off from work after the move, so I can take time organizing everything just so. I am going to map out the kitchen and based on daily utilization rates of our china, flatware, stemware, and coffee paraphernalia, stock the cabinets accordingly. The cupboards go nearly to the ceiling (requiring a step ladder) and this accessibility proves challenging to my Lean set-up of the kitchen. Yes, I know, there is no shame in therapy!

The trick this week will be maintaining a shred of sanity while my house is in complete disarray and my schedule is as full as ever. At least the week should go quickly!

Illusion of Control

It's been one heck of a week...between the late evenings and the two physician dinners I had this week, I cannot wait to camp out in my bed on a snowy day tomorrow and watch movies. To me, there are few things more relaxing than snuggling up in my nest of feathers (we have a down comforter and a feather bed) and watching movies. I finished several big responsibilities this week, including a massive audit of the annual mandatory education completion rates by my entire staff and the last 13 of the annual evaluations. Talk about a monkey off my back!

So on Monday night (after running around like a nut all day), I drove up to OakBrook to woo a new primary care physician. It was a good dinner, but I must rave about Maggiano's an upper-class Italian chain of restaurants. I usually hate chain restaurants, but I had a salmon dish that was just awe-inspiring. Check that place out if you get the opportunity. Tonight, I accompanied the Wound Clinic and physician staff to Coopershawk. I've raved about Coopershawk before...go there, too, if you ever get the chance!

I had several HR and irate physician issues this week (long story) so among all the stress, I somehow completed a fair amount of work on one of my Muppet Corporate committees, Patient Flow. Locally, at St. Fozzie's, this touches on patient throughput through the hospital. It provides us a lot of opportunities for process improvement. I also spoke at the Leader Forum, the monthly meeting at which all hospital management is present. While most people dread public speaking, I am finding that I thrive on it. It gives me a high. Isn't that weird?

For the first time since I've started in this position, I feel as though I have the illusion of control. I finally fully understand what occurs in my own departments and in the services we offer. I am working with the managers to construct business plans so we can enhance and evolve their services to align with the strategic plan. I finally feel, despite the long hours, that I'm settling in.

So cue the conversation I had with Nurse Jackie yesterday, that they are considering changing my job description. I have no idea what this means or where I'm going...just that, when I finally feel like things are settling down (work wise!), I'll get to mix it up again and start over!

A quick house update...it appears that we are still on track for a December 11 move. This is good news. It feels like forever since we bought that house and Jack and I are just ready to move already! Bring it on! I'm anxious to put up that Christmas tree and get settled in my new home!

Nomadic Ways

All is well on the home front. And the home front, it seems.

Jack and I started packing this weekend (actually, we more than "started," we're about halfway done and our house is a mess of boxes). We found out that we were formally and officially approved for our mortgage, the inspection was fine, the appraisal was acceptable (well, we think...on those sorts of things, no news is good news) and everything is moving forward according to plan.

In truth, it seems way too easy. I felt reluctant to start packing because, what if something went awry? After selling our house in SB and having so many problems doing so, I can't believe this one is so easy. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Nonetheless, we're entering into another crazy time of transition. I left one coffee mug unpacked for each of us, a few pots and pans are out, and the rest of the kitchen is in boxes. We're making it our goal to eat up as much of our food as possible. It's a pet peeve of mine to move food!

Our contract on the house states that we will close no later than December 10; that we can close as soon as the lender has their side in order. Well, the lender has their side in order, so we're preparing to start moving whenever we get those keys! Official moving day is December 11 (for furniture), but if we can get our clothes and fragile stuff in there beforehand, that will be fabulous. Here's to hopin'!

Quote Journal: Integrity

Here's a good quote as we begin Advent...

"If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters."

-Alan Simpson

Go be that glowing candle in the middle of a dark world!

Coping

I've been in a strange state of disarray today. Jack and I spent exactly 23 hours in SB over Thanksgiving and managed to visit with four different sides of the family. In one word, we're, well, spent!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It's always been one of my very favorite holidays. But something was a bit off this year. My routine was upset and I'm definitely feeling it.

First, we had to drive 3 hours Wednesday night to get back to SB (in bad weather and awful traffic, I might add), we stayed at my aunt's house overnight, and visited my mom for a scant few hours (when we usually pass out into turkey comas by the fireplace and end up watching Christmas movies into the evening when we break out the leftovers for grazing purposes). After visiting with the cutest niece and nephew in the world and our other family, we had to hit the highway. While Jack and I did fit in a viewing of "Polar Express," we headed to bed so we could go to WORK. I think it was the first time in my adult life where I didn't A) hit the mall at 4 a.m. for Christmas shopping and B) relax all weekend. This is the first time I ever worked the day after Thanksgiving.

Don't get me wrong, it was a much-needed work day. I dug out of my piles of accumulated work and will start Monday with a clean slate. But it just seemed weird to avoid the stores, sales, and ads in lieu of working a normal work day.

The other part of it is that, for the last 9 years of our marriage, I have always put the Christmas tree up on the day after Thanksgiving (or, at least, that weekend). Since we're moving in two weeks, that's a futile action and instead of unpacking the Christmas decorations, I'm packing up the rest of my stuff!

With the expense of the house, closing costs, and the large down payment due, we are scaling way, way back on Christmas this year. Our family and friends have been sympathetic to this and everyone's pretty much agreed on a one-year hiatus for Christmas gifts. While this has taken a large seasonal stressor off my plate, I feel as though I'm missing out on something! I feel as though I *should* be fighting the hoards of people for whatever the must-have items of the season are. It must be a strange twist of guilt. I feel bad I cannot purchase gifts for everyone I love this year, but I just cannot justify charging gifts. Plus, the season's not about gifts. It's about giving. And Jack and I are exploring other ways to give this season. It's actually quite liberating (I think)!

I am trying to embrace this new perspective this year. Nothing has been easy, quick, or painless this past year; what's one more challenge? Maybe it will give us more incentive to focus on Advent, too.

Despite my seemingly tough exterior, I am a softy for holiday traditions. I decided I will still put up a Christmas tree and decorate our new house...but I'll just leave the decorations up through Epiphany (instead of tearing everything down on New Year's Day, per my usual routine!). Just keep coping, right?!

T'is the Season

Regardless of my stress and ever-changing job, I have much, much to be thankful for. While trying to relax over the weekend, I thought of this list. I'm thankful...

1. For my faith. I have so many days where I feel as though I'm on the last cusp of sanity. My faith keeps me grounded and I know I can always call on God to recenter myself. Plus, it just helps when your surrounding leadership team all subscribes to the same faith tradition and you know God's somehow sustaining us all. Somehow...between all the trucker brew coffee and Red Bull!

2. For Jack. Jack's still adjusting to his new career, but he still takes time to support me, talk me off ledges, and most importantly, make me laugh. I hope everyone has someone in their lives who makes them laugh! Thank you for everything, Jack. I still can't believe I married that nerd in flannel who sat across the room from me in youth group! :)

3. For my family. Despite my crazy dreams and ambition, my family still always supports me. They put up with me working insane hours and seem to understand when I do need help. Many of my family members offer unconditional love and acceptance, good things for anyone to have....oh, and they supply me with homemade baked goods.

4. For my friends. You know who you are. Most people have good friends, but I have hit the jackpot on this one. I have several friends who would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. In short, my friends put Carrie Bradshaw's foursome to shame. Plus, they wouldn't steal my best heels!

5. For my job. I'm grateful for my career, its advancements, and the opportunities I receive at work. Regardless of my stress, I am grateful for my job each and every day I walk through the front doors of the hospital. It's easy to take any career for granted, but in this economy, I'm grateful just to have a job.

5. For the other awesome opportunities I've had. Yes, I've been able to travel and experience a lot of neat cultural events, shows, recitals, musicals, theatricals, etc. But I'm especially happy for the 'carpe diem' attitude I cultivated from somewhere. From my life experiences, I am acutely aware that life is short and we need to live the best life possible. As a result, I've worked myself to death at work, lived the heck out of each weekend, and am proud to say that I live each day as though it's my last. Y'know, just like in the words of Nickelback in "If Today was Your Last Day."

6. For those who take care of me when my body breaks down. Because I do push the envelope often (frequently? always?), Jack sometimes has to put me back together when I fall apart. Others do, too. Like the lady at Midway Airport who made me a yummy, comforting hot chocolate with hot milk when I was flying with a terrible cold. Or my assistant who, when I was sick, set hot water, a tea bag, and two packets of honey on my desk in my office. Or one of the other executive assistants who can tell when I need a strong cup of coffee in the afternoon at work (sense a theme here?)

7. For the knowledge that life is a journey and that I don't have to be perfect yet. While I'm achieving a lot at work, it's definitely, most definitely taking a toll. I'm grateful that I don't *have* to have this all down yet; that I have the rest of my life to perfect what I'm doing, where I'm going, and why. And yes, I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. Actually, can you help remind me, too?

That's the greatest realization...that none of us have to be perfect at this thing called life.

Now...where's that turkey?

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year with the five F's. Great, homemade food, family, faith, football, and fire. It's the one holiday my mom lights the fireplace and we have the ambient warmth of a Norman Rockwell scene...until the women get too hot from cooking in the kitchen and can the fire!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Boundaries

I haven't had time to say a whole lot to say this week (aside from my regularly scheduled posts!). I had a terrible, sleep-deprived week and nearly walked off the job on Friday afternoon.

Yep, I have days like that, too.

Monday and Tuesday of last week were normal days, full of meetings and on both days, I sat down in my office around 5 pm to start my "real" work. I am still responsible for a few reports, analyses, and the emails. Oh, the emails. I usually receive more than 100 per day. It's insanity. So on Monday, I think I left by 7:30 pm.

Then on Tuesday, right after I sat down to do my real work, Nurse Jackie sort of slunk into my office with a devious look on her face. She said, "Um, we need your help. Got a sec?"

Always the people-pleaser, I agreed. Nurse Jackie threw a 34-page financial report on my desk (it landed with a thud and dust scattered) and asked me to create a presentation from it. Dumbfounded, I asked why the report's owner (one of the other execs, whose identity I will not disclose) did not write the presentation. Nurse Jackie responded that this *was* his presentation. In other words, it wasn't going to work.

So insert me, coming in at the 11th hour, to try and recreate the thought process of one of our most seasoned execs. I read through the 34 page report numerous times, restructuring, trying to underline the reasoning and define an argument. I was in my office until late evening on Tuesday and Wednesday nights and finally emerged with a reasonable document.

THEN, on Thursday, I had to meet one of my colleagues from St. Piggy's at 7 a.m. for Lean training at St. Fozzie's. Joe, my colleague from St. Piggy's, is willing to help me jump-start a Lean program at St. Fozzie's; he let us use his material and traveled up to Chicagoland to help me facilitate training for 100 people. We had an awesome simulation where the leaders had to staff "St. Potato Hospital" and put a patient through the hospital by constructing a Mister Potato Head. Then we teach them how to Kaizen and have them fix a bunch of parts of the hospital. Then we have them run the simulation again, attaching the hospital stay to money, billing for each completed Potato Head, subtracting for quality defects and FTE's. The result? An operating margin. All of the hospital leaders understand the simulation in terms of the operating margin!

That went on for three sessions on Thursday and two sessions Friday. Even though my speaking part was small, about 5-7 minutes per session, I was trying to mentally support my friends and St. Fozzie's colleagues as they helped their peers understand the concepts. Many of our folks aren't seasoned speakers and were nervous. By the Friday sessions, everyone was keen on their parts and we flowed like a machine. A machine, I tell you!

However, I had an irate patient family interrupt my aura and the newest manager I just hired had her baptism by fire. So I kept having to step out to speak with her, the ICU manager, and the Director of Nursing. Fun stuff. There's nothing like speaking to groups of people and having your pager going off the whole live-long day.

But by the time the last session concluded on Friday, I was starting to crash and burn. I actually surpassed 80 hours and as I drug myself back to my office after the last session, I couldn't care less about what was going on. I had survived the week and all I could think about was my bed. I knew I had to get out of there and asked my assistant to page me only in an emergency.

I left work by 4:30pm and was home, in my bed, crashed out asleep by 6pm. Jack let me sleep and didn't bother me all evening.

I'm trying to figure out how to draw some boundaries with work so I don't burn myself out like this. I was actually sick from the stress I was under and spent most of Saturday with a sleep hang-over and a headache. Despite our house inspection on the new house (which came back perfect...they didn't require us to get anything done on the house), Jack put me to bed by 8pm so I could avoid the cold threatening to massacre my immune system!

Alas, it worked. I woke up refreshed and ready to go on Sunday. All we really did was hit mass, go for a long walk, and watch the new Harry Potter (was scary and sad). However, because we went to 11:00 mass, I spent the morning completing an ethics paper for school. I wonder if they will detract from my grade since I was working on Catholic bioethics on a Sunday morning and was, obviously, breaking the Sabbath?? Hmmmmm!

Fabulous!

I checked my horoscope on The Onion, a hysterical website that makes me laugh when I need a quick escape from work (*cough, cough*), not that I was trying to escape work.

"Your admirable decision to lead a life of honesty and moral rectitude will bring your career in advertising to a sudden and drastic end."

Fabulous!

Now, where's that trash can I need to empty? And don't I have an errand to run? Ooooh, a rerun of Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving!