Joke Journal: First MEC

Amongst 28 other things today, I sat in on my first Medical Executive Committee (MEC) meeting in St. Fozzie’s administration. The whole hospital governance structure fascinates me and I actually enjoyed seeing the hospital chairpeople debate policy changes and physician staffing. They’re a smart bunch (duh) and really divide the continuum of expected behavior at formal business luncheons. Several of the docs were very polite and maintained their manners. They kept their elbows off the table and daintily dabbed their mouths with napkins. Others went back to the buffet three and four times, chewing with their mouths open, wiping mouths on their lab coats. I looked down my nose at one such offender and later learned she’s among the hospital’s top referral docs. In other words, she admits a lot of patients and can act however she damn well pleases. Whoops. My bad.

While the docs’ personalities interested me, their humor hit my funny bone (pun intended). The meeting was teleconferenced to other offices and the “hold” music for the teleconference system is this wonderfully relaxing piano music, the kind they play in spas. Well, as each doc filtered in to the room, they made comments about whether a masseuse is here and where are the pedicure chairs? One doc made the comment that the music had the same relaxing results as Valium and they should just pass around a bottle of Valium. Another doc dismissed that suggestion, instead arguing that they should pass around a stimulating snack to jolt us awake, such as wasabi peas. The docs compromised and said they’d develop Valium-laced wasabi peas. All the docs seconded this motion, but only if the Valium-laced wasabi peas could be washed down with champagne!

Now where else could you hear about Valium-laced wasabi peas with a champagne chaser?

And that was my first memory from an MEC meeting!