This post might touch on the deeply personal struggle that I'm currently battling. While my blog is certainly not a journal or diary, it is a place to document the experiences of my year in Chicago. This battle of discernment is part of the experience and I'm chalking it up as such.Basically, I've been given three opportunities; one in Indy and two in Chicago. I much prefer the situation in Chicago, but cannot make a definitive decision until this week. I'll let you know when that decision is made!
What's really troubling me (and us) is this long period of transition we're entering. I thought the last 11 months were the hard part...of living apart from Jack all week, learning to live on our own without the love of our life beside us, and having to leave each other each Sunday evening after a scant 48 hours together. We were motivated by the knowledge that this living arrangement would end after Month Twelve and we even started counting down the weeks until we can live together again.
Well, now that opportunities are opening up for me, the real transition will soon begin. Getting my job settled is just Part A of the equation. We also have to worry about Part B, selling the house; Part C, moving some of our belongings into storage and moving to rest to wherever I live; Part D, Jack landing a fulfilling job in his chosen field; and Part E, relocating to the "mid-point" between our two jobs. So many pieces of the puzzle have to fall into place...while the year of the fellowship is quickly drawing to an end next month, the real transition hasn't even started. In fact, the changes coming down the pike make the last eleven months look easy.
It's scary and I'm trying to not let if affect my work life too much. After all, they don't particularly care about my living arrangement and relocation efforts. They want a dedicated, hardworking employee. And the job offers I've received are all wonderful, suggesting that my hard work really is paying off.
*Sigh*
This exercise, I think, is meant to test our commitment, faith, and dedication. I don't know of too many other folks have gone through a lengthy transition like this. If I thought the fellowship took me out on a limb, this next chapter is taking me out over the edge of a cliff. You remember Wiley Coyote, who would chase the Roadrunner off a cliff and remain suspended in mid-air until he realized he wasn't standing on anything?
Maybe the trick is to not look down? Or to not fully realize you're suspended in mid-air so you don't plummet to the ground? That sounds an awful lot like denial.
There's no denying that things are getting tough. I'm looking down! I realize I'm suspended in mid-air, with no solid footing around me!
What's really troubling me (and us) is this long period of transition we're entering. I thought the last 11 months were the hard part...of living apart from Jack all week, learning to live on our own without the love of our life beside us, and having to leave each other each Sunday evening after a scant 48 hours together. We were motivated by the knowledge that this living arrangement would end after Month Twelve and we even started counting down the weeks until we can live together again.
Well, now that opportunities are opening up for me, the real transition will soon begin. Getting my job settled is just Part A of the equation. We also have to worry about Part B, selling the house; Part C, moving some of our belongings into storage and moving to rest to wherever I live; Part D, Jack landing a fulfilling job in his chosen field; and Part E, relocating to the "mid-point" between our two jobs. So many pieces of the puzzle have to fall into place...while the year of the fellowship is quickly drawing to an end next month, the real transition hasn't even started. In fact, the changes coming down the pike make the last eleven months look easy.
It's scary and I'm trying to not let if affect my work life too much. After all, they don't particularly care about my living arrangement and relocation efforts. They want a dedicated, hardworking employee. And the job offers I've received are all wonderful, suggesting that my hard work really is paying off.
*Sigh*
This exercise, I think, is meant to test our commitment, faith, and dedication. I don't know of too many other folks have gone through a lengthy transition like this. If I thought the fellowship took me out on a limb, this next chapter is taking me out over the edge of a cliff. You remember Wiley Coyote, who would chase the Roadrunner off a cliff and remain suspended in mid-air until he realized he wasn't standing on anything?
Maybe the trick is to not look down? Or to not fully realize you're suspended in mid-air so you don't plummet to the ground? That sounds an awful lot like denial.
There's no denying that things are getting tough. I'm looking down! I realize I'm suspended in mid-air, with no solid footing around me!
And I'm still holding onto my faith that everything will work out well and how God intends.
Now, I wonder if I can find the Roadrunner on Cartoon Network?
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