"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
-Soren Kierkegaard
This quote strikes me today because I don't know what the future is going to bring. I don't have a crystal ball. I have to keep trudging (ahem, I mean, swimming) forward and not worry about interpreting the journey. Hindsight might be 20/20, but there is a lot of courage to be had (and made) in my decision to take this journey step-by-step. Even moment-to-moment.
Everything is starting to really hit me now. Jack and I attended my pomp and circumstantial hooding ceremony, I polished my last two presentations for school, and we picked out a mattress for my new house. I talked to the woman from whom I'm renting the house and solidified my move-in date as May 27. We're making lists of the things I need to pack and the things I still need to buy. The next few days will be a blur of finals in school, the tying up of loose ends at work, and preparing for a much-needed vacation. As soon as vacay is over, I must travel for work and dive back into deep, heady meetings. Then I begin my two-time zone existence. I feel as though I'm truly running out of hours and this transition is going to charge ahead, whether I'm ready or not. I'm scared.
Okay, I need help. Anyone have a good pep talk to share?
A healthy dose of terror is good, it keeps you on your toes...uh, I mean fins. But it is only when you leave your comfort zone that you are able to grow. You helped me realize that a few months ago before I went back to school! But you can't survive when you are always in fight or flight mode. Sometimes you have to stop swimming for a second, take a deep breath so you can reset and function in the higher thinking mode (that is the pre-frontal lobe that doesn't function during a sympathtic rush - see, good thing you encouraged me to go back to school!). So breathe, take your vitamins, lean on your friends, family and God, and enjoy the sweet times as they come. And just remember, if you find a day that you aren't learning something new, then you need to change what you are doing!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you don't have to start wondering whether or not you're stuck in a rut. (sorry...fish - current?)
ReplyDeleteSo - when you tumble fin over flipper exiting the East Australian Current, you'll look back and think: "Hey - that transition was really cool!" More importantly you will be able to look around and start planning what transition will be next.
Like Rosie the Riveter says, YOU CAN DO IT! All of your hard work will pay off when you suddenly realize that you're comfortable in your job and new surroundings. Sometimes that transition just takes time!
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